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TheRaz39
Reviews
Satan Hates You (2010)
Not horrible, I just don't like this mix
First off, you should know that this is "Christian Horror". I thought with Debbie Rochon, Angus Scrimm, Michael Berryman and Reggie Bannister (including a cameo from Pauley Perette), along with the cover art that this would be some sinister horror and to some extent it was. However, 3/4 of the way through it, this flick morphed into pure Christian Rhetoric, going on about Jesus' sacrifice and God's ability to forgive regardless of the sins committed through accepting Jesus in your heart as your savior etc etc. ACK! Don't get me wrong, nothing against Christianity, I just don't like the doctrine embedded in the Horror Genre (my opinion obviously). It is like melting Godiva Chocolate on a $50 Steak. Their both good in their own right, just not mixed together.
If you're okay with this, then watch it for sure, Angus can still maintain a presence, even at 82!
Plane Dead (2007)
There were Zombie Balls in my Mac N cheese
Really, there were, anyway, this is a short and sweet review, I am not going to go on and on describing scene for scene. Here is my message to you:
If you love horror and you love the Zombie genre, then see this film. There is actually talent in this picture, with great special effects and a score that fits.
Is it perfect? no Is it without flaw? nope Is the CGI just on the threshold of hokey? Yes Does it come together nicely, with gore, horror, comic relief and not to mention a little eye candy (for the guys)? Definitely
Don't worry lady fans, it is done in a way that will keep those eyes from rolling.
In my opinion, the worst part of this DVD is the director's commentary. It contained very little information with redundancy and long periods of silence.
This isn't a prolific, apocalyptic Romero instant cult classic, however, I did like it better than Diary of the Dead...
Enjoy and happy horrors
Blood Feast (1963)
Gold Store Mannequin Destroys Miami, film at 11
If you went into this, taking it seriously, then the problem is at your end. The acting, props, special effects and story line are supposed to be hokey. Don't believe me? Then watch the movie with the Herschell Gordon Lewis and David F. Friedman commentary.
The story, is simple, sacrifice women to appease and resurrect the Egyptian Goddess Ishtar.
There is plenty of gore, and considering this is pre-FX, pretty impressive. Utilizing items such as chicken skin, studio blood mixed with Kaopectate to give it texture and a rotten lamb tongue (more on this later). This was how American Gore all started, this was the flagship and I value the ingenuity.
Fuad Ramses (Mal Arnold) overacts to a degree that is comical and it fits perfectly. Ramses is killing and mutilating young women in a Florida suburb, taking bloody souvenirs to the idol of his revered goddess Ishtar, (which is a store Mannequin painted gold in a Channel dress). There are a series of quality kills, for its time and if you keep your mindset, in a place that accommodates 50/60's exploitation, I promise you, you'll enjoy yourself.
There is one kill I do want to mention. Ramses infiltrates (surprisingly powerful for a short, thin gimp) Aldrid Olson, (whom by the way, was found by David Friedman at the Playboy mansion, he went there in search of an attractive woman with a large mouth(for the tongue scene), this is also where he found Connie Mason). Anyway, I digress, Ramses, proceeds to rip out Aldrid's tongue. This scene, as amateurish as the special effects were, was ghastly. The tongue was gruesome and in all actuality, it really was. It had once belonged to a sheep, it was a real tongue. The story behind it is that the production team had to obtain it from a slaughter house in Tampa, which was quite a haul from the production set. While it was resting in a refrigeration unit, the power had gone out and the tongue quickly became rank. However, getting a replacement was not possible due to scheduling restrictions. The solution was attributed to Scott H. Hall (if I remember right); he drenched the tongue in Pinesol which rectified the stench. Pretty gross, I'd say.
The movie is well worth the watch, I also encourage you to re-watch it with the commentary.
Happy Horrors
Two Thousand Maniacs! (1964)
Plate of Creepy with all the right sides
Where to start, well, the southern accents are bad, plain and simple, in fact, the best portrayed southern accent was by Tom White (William Kerwin), whom was, in the film, simulating the twang in attempt to phone out of Plesantville. Additionally, Lester MacDonald (Ben Moore) and Rufus Tate (Gary Bakeman) gave horrible portrayals. Rufus being in a pressed clean shirt, an obviously new hat and perfectly white teeth, not to mention a ghastly attempt at a southern drawl. Coupled with Lester, whose character made a more valiant attempt at being the country bumpkin, wearing overalls and covered in dirt. However, Moore's overacting was enough to make your teeth itch. In addition, the audio is bad, the dialogue sounds as if the players are shouting in a small quonset hut (although, the sound track is awesome and fitting).
That being said, believe it or not, I enjoyed the movie. The hokiness seemed to fit and some of the scenes of gore were great. Guy cuts woman's thumb while showing her his knife's sharpness. To resolve the matter, he cuts off her thumb. Things obviously out of hand (no pun intended), brings the bleeding, crying woman to the town mayor where they cut off her arm, in spite of her thumb (pun intended), priceless and silly, in a backwoods, Deliverance kind of way. In one scene, the troupe of maniacs separate husband and wife David Wells (Michael Korb) and Beverly Wells (Yvonne Gilbert). After some pressuring, you see David being lead up a hill where there is a yellow barrel with the confederate flag affixed to the surface. The barrel is on its side and without top or bottom. They tell David that is it a tradition to have a Yankee crawl through the barrel before it is rolled (you can see where this is going). Naturally he resists, however, they coerce/bully him to travel through, and as you can guess, once inside the barrel, they hold him there. Although, before the barrel is pushed down the gently sloping mound, the mayor produces a hammer and some wicked looking long nails which he then pounds into the barrel. Needless to say, David didn't make it through the ordeal. This was sinister indeed, I found myself proclaiming the proverbial "No Way". Another gruesome demise was when John Miller (Jerome Eden) was Quartered (pulled apart by four horses). Speaking of this, which I found a little misplaced. After the quartering, the group that was once elated, became sullen, after an uncomfortable silence, Lester said something along the lines of "You know what happens to those that don't follow through" this didn't fit, no harm though, the scene was quickly recovered. The movie continues in an expected way with the Hero and Heroine narrowly escaping after the usual cat and mouse. Beverly Wells, is smashed by a boulder that is propped up and rigged to drop in the fashion you may see with a carnival dunk tank. There is an epic twist though, that I enjoyed very much and it is here that I will stop, I feel that in this case, to give it away, would make it a little less enjoyable. I will state that the remake with Robert Englund is very good, adhering to the original interpretation and incorporates more humor (without ruining the feel). The remake also had a superior set, where the original utilized a more modern town that didn't fit. In addition, 2001 Maniacs expounded on the ending's twist, in a way that I thought improved the film. We can't discount though, the plain creepiness of some of the characters in the original, I got the feeling that these people, really were homicidal inbred yolkels. Happy Horrors
Satan's Playground (2006)
Horror can be like shopping at TJMaxx
Sometimes, it takes a little searching to find what's worth bringing home. Yes there were some continuity issues with Satan's Playground. Yes, there are some questionable performances and yes you may find yourself saying "what the heck?" However, try and take enjoyment in the individual morsels of creativity. Not every film can be an Exorcist or Cannibal Holocaust. Irma St. Paule (RIP) was creepy, pick the film apart and it remains one surety and to see this elderly woman snorting cocaine made me belly laugh. Irma St. Paule, was listed as being eighty years old at the time of her death (January 2007), although, some of her peers suspected that she was in fact older. Whether that be true or not, this still placed her as the oldest performing actor in the business (at that time), she was on stage until the end and that is something to be said. I enjoyed seeing Ellen Sandweiss again; she is a part of the institution that set the bar. This is Cheryl from Sam Raimi's Evil Dead (1981), she was one of the scariest demons I have seen to date and the only woman (or at least the first) to be raped by a tree. There is some other talent worth mentioning. Felissa Rose's performance was actually pretty good considering what she had to work with (Which included a husband (Salvatore Paul Piro) who is twice her age (and size), in addition to a terribly portrayed Autistic son (Danny Lopes) that is twenty six years old, meaning Felissa birthed him at twelve), however, when you are looking into those eyes, they convey fear. Felissa has come a long way since her role as the transgendered murderess in Sleepaway Camp (1983), which still has a cult following. I will never forget her at the end of the film, standing there, naked with a penis (I was definitely scarred). Sleepaway Camp is a notable entry to the 80's slasher invasion. Back to Satan's Playground, there were some steals from Sam Raimi's Evil Dead (in addition to Ellen Sandweiss) for instance, the famous POV shots of the unseen bat like assailant (Jersey Devil), which had little to do with movie. Most of the quality kills were via bludgeoning or being drugged by the House's inhabitants and not the Jersey Devil. Additionally, the facial expressions made by Christie Sandford were very similar to that of Possessed Betsy Baker's (Linda of Evil Dead). Though his role was confusing to say the least, it is worth a mention that Edwin Neal who plays "Boy" was none other than the Hitchhiker of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974). Raine Brown was also on set, unfortunately with a very small role.
Overall, I'll admit, the film is a little less to be desired. However, if you truly love horror, you'll retrieve these aforementioned morsels of entertainment and move on. If anything, to see Irma snorting cocaine is worth the watch (I am laughing as I end this). Happy Horrors