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SaulMDowling
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Hell Baby (2013)
Another Gem to Be Discovered
Comedies are consistently rated lower than they should be. I saw this was 4.3. But then I saw the names and I said Bipso Bopso I'm going to watchso. I said that three times and then I wrote it with my own dirt on the wall, and let me tell you something; I'm sorry I ever washed it off because this movie is a Barn Stormer.
It's a fast paced farce with heady levels of zanyness, legal levels of nudity and gore, and jokes sharper than a toothed frog in solitary with nothing but a nail file. Horror fans will enjoy the send up of The Omen, Rosemaries Baby, Possesor and all the other titans in the Evil Baby pantheon. .
She deserved a much higher rating and I'm the man to give it to her. There is a jellied banquet of comedy heavy weights in this and their delivery foists the writing to new heights. Rob Cordry and Keegan Michael Key in particular really shine and it's fantastic that they have so many scenes together. I would adore seeing this cast and production team get together again.
If you are a fan of other victims of the critics like Hot Tub Time Machine, Hot Tub Time Machine 2, Stepbrothers and Boss Baby; then come follow old man peters into the back of his blacked out van because you are in for a treat. It even got a rough time in my house. I'm used to my parents disliking the comedies I enjoy but my own brother. That one was hard to deal with. It's sad because if I had to choose between him and this movie; I'd shunt him into traffic so fast he'd still be trying to blow out the candles on his birthday cake. I understand they say comedy is subjective but you know what else people are subjective about? WHAM.
Sabrina the Teenage Witch: Sweet & Sour Victory (1996)
Hardly Harder for Harvey
Darkness has fallen. Only the wind remains awake; gathering loose leaves under the orange glow of the street light like a cat bringing me mice. I am gathering my thoughts. If I had children they would be tucked up in bed; the day's follies replaying in their spring minds. A face comes to me. Harvey. My smiling beaming boy. Innocent. Charming. Completely without sin. Is Harvey merely innocent in the way a baby is or is he worthy of the adulation afforded someone priestly? I think the latter.
Harvey provides moral guidance simply through his actions unlike H&Z who merely prescribe it. It is Harvey who shines in this episode which centres on cheating. I will leave it up to the man himself to dispense to you his wisdom.
Sabrina begins taking Kung-Fu classes. She decides to use an enchantment to make her better and quickly out masters her teacher who recommends she enter a tournament.
The side plot involves Helda competing with a pretentious foe for first chair violin in an orchestra. Unlike Sabrina she is intent on doing it fairly; more for her own personal satisfaction than out of duty to her opponent. The story doesn't really have enough room to breath and the similarities with the main plot are derivative rather than complementary.
Throughout the episode Sabrina badly beats her opponents. I understand it's comedy but Mr. Pool even comments on his ongoing symptoms of concussion. The episode takes care to show us her lust for violence. It's easy to over analyse a piece of entertainment but we are shown her in slow motion, wild eyed and in ecstasy; revelling in combat. I find it hard to believe she didn't seek out weaker prey away from the cameras. People like that use competition as a mask when their violence is public but they need have no such pretence when it is just them and some vulnerable member of society; perhaps a homeless person who sadly will not receive the investigative attention a white mother would.
The competition also raises a question for me. Are the people who are witness to Sabrina's magic memory wiped every week? Otherwise wouldn't everybody be like, 'hey Sabrina what happened to you being a master kung-fu master?' And that's just one week. Imagine how her escapades would add up. Even when the events by themselves aren't explicit proof to the people around her that magic is real; in aggregate they would raise suspicion. Libby seems to be the only person who ever spots this pattern and Sabrina humiliates her again and again when she voices her suspicions.
This makes Sabrina lonely. She has shared all these experiences with people but she can never reminisce with them. We keep each other company not only with our presence but with our memories. That she can only share them with her aunts and Salem makes her life even more claustrophobic. They weren't there. They only have her account. While her friends are alive in the present, they are to some extent dead in the past. She is like the last of a circle of friends to survive old age. Nobody understands the world she grew up in but her. Sure she has spent time with them that they can all recollect but to what extent is an edited story an entirely different one? Is Macbeth the same play if Lady Macbeth's incitement to murder is excised? Is she the same person? Is Macbeth?
Of course eventually Sabrina's cheating catches up with her. Though it's worth noting that it doesn't do so in the form of guilt. Even after the usual pontifications of H&Z, this time on the value of winning fairly, she is more or less strong armed into doing the right thing by a magical comeuppance.
I find myself returning to Harvey. It is often implied that Sabrina is superior to him. After all she is experiencing this weekly personal growth and Harvey always stays the same. But maybe Harvey is done growing; done learning lessons. At what stage will Sabrina call it a day and join him in his humble happiness? What is the point in this perpetual moral merry go round if it never stops?
The clothes changing gag was dreadful. Sabrina chooses some 60's mod clothes and then says "Groovy" and some other plastic-hippy catchphrases. I could feel that Melissa grinned and bore the bit.
Sabrina the Teenage Witch: Meeting Dad's Girlfriend (1997)
A Tale of Gale
The matching choker Sabrina wears with her monochrome vanilla yellow pants and shirt is really arresting. Did she buy the whole outfit together? Was the discovery of the choker a happy co-incidence or did she really spend some time hunting it down?
If you watch old episodes of intervention a divorce in someone's childhood occurs in 80% of the episodes. This gives you some idea of how traumatic it is for a child to experience. Yes; parents can do a lot to mitigate this and many parents really try but its almost impossible for children to see their parents as two separate people who lead their own separate lives before forming a unit. They see something whole breaking a part rather than two separate pieces disconnecting. The evidence of trauma can be seen in Sabrina's reaction to her father's new girlfriend.
Its always strange to me when STTW mixes more dramatic themes into it's magic universe. There's nothing funny about domestic violence and there's certainly nothing funny about imagining how it goes down in the other realm.
This is isn't a bad episode by any means but its just a little, I don't know... stuffy.
Sabrina the Teenage Witch: Jenny's Non-Dream (1997)
I Dream of Genies
You can get great style tips looking at Sabrina The Teenage Witch. Everything is 90's right now. I was delighted to discover me and Harvey share a hair cut. Sabrina is wearing a felt top in this episode that I think is so on point its probably a year away. Shame I'm not a girl. I suppose I could buy myself by a felt close-fitting t-shirt with buttons but men and women's clothes, unfortunately do not always have counter parts for each other. My cousin did turn up with a felt t-shirt around christmas and looked great; if not a little reminiscent of Star Trek.
Sabrina reluctantly invites Jenny over for a sleep over at the insistence of H&Z. Sabrina has been revelling in the normality of Jenny's family and does not want to introduce Jenny to the bizzarity of hers. I thought this was understandable to be honest. Anyway; Jenny eventually ends up in the other realm and it is up to Sabrina to get her out. The realm is rendered by two set pieces that are far from movie quality. As a kid; low production value used to really bother me but as an adult I have to commend STTW for always going high concept and worrying about production later.
There is something very odd about one woman in her early twenties dressed in a victorian nightgown telling another that she wishes that "other realms like Narnia" exist in a game of Tell Me Your Secret. I mean you would think that maybe Jenny would reveal that she has a crush on a teacher or that she was high the other day when they all went to the cinema. I realise now I am just desperately jealous I don't have a friend I trust enough to tell that I wish other realms like Narnia exist. I alway say "when I was 15...". Well guess what? Nothings changed. I still wish Narnia was real but I have stopped feeling the backs of wardrobes.
Jenny really grew on me in this episode. Whereas Sabrina is obsessed with conformity and status; Jenny actively embraces counter-culture and is very open to new experiences. There is something charming about how readily she accepts the surreal situation she finds herself in.
There are some genuinely funny moments in this episode ,such as when Sabrina Screams "Hey let's race. Look your winning!" while pushing Jenny from behind, and it manages to fit with the overarching themes of conformity while providing fresh narrative.
Sabrina the Teenage Witch: Trial by Fury (1997)
Did I enjoy it?
Yes. I love the old man who plays the judge. I always have. I don't know how he does it. He's just bewitching.
The premise? Its fine I guess. There's a bit of strange moral ambiguity going on as to wether the bad teacher's actions led to positive actions. In other words; wether the angst you cause another person can be worth it if that angst spurs on creativity in them.
Is this really moral ambiguity? This is like putting Stalin on trial and his defense team arguing that we got a lot of great movies out of the holocaust.
This one also features a lot of civilian abuse. Sabrina and the aunts have an entire trial knowing that no one will remember it. I find that disturbing. A witch might have done that to me and I don't even know it. Its stuff like that that makes Libby's bigotry understandable.
Sabrina the Teenage Witch: Sabrina Through the Looking Glass (1997)
The Nightosphere Part Two
Sabrina is in bad mood and lets her wrath out on those she loves the most. She finds escape in a mirror universe but finds she has a bit of work to do to make up for what she's done.
I liked the theme of reconciliation in this episode. Sabrina acts poorly, has to make up for it and is then forgiven. I really think everyone is to be admired.
Harvey's monkey character is a delight. The monkey humanises Harvey more than any other plot device in the show.
I found the tension around the sports person's cameo appearance unbearable. As soon as they start mentioning him by name and just acting like he happened to suit the punchlines I got extremely uncomfortable. It became like a cameo horror movie for me. I kept waiting for him to pop out from behind a corner and couldn't properly relax until he was revealed.
Overall this episode features a fairly primitive narrative and seems like it would be more at home in a mega-church pastors sermon. I'm giving it a 6/10.
Sabrina the Teenage Witch: A Girl and Her Cat (1996)
The Nightosphere Part One
The review for this next two episode is a little different. I was blasting a 12 Hz strobe at my closed eyes while the audio played. The specific frequency excites the mind in such a way as invoke a dream like state and colourful patterns. I have trouble sleeping and I use this as a way to ease myself in.
I have to admit that this does handicap my reviewing abilities to some extent. Watching the show with my eyes closed made me appreciate just how visual a lot of its humour is. The show is sometimes closer to a cartoon in this regard which is one of the things that makes it unusual. At the beginning of the episode Zelda is talking on the phone. So visual were the jokes during this scene that despite being able to hear the laughtrack the punchline was completely omitted from the dialogue. I hadn't a clue what was going on.
Sabrina abandons Salem outside a pizzeria after he sneaks into her backpack. Salem is then taken by a kid and Sabrina must hunt him down.
Sabrina's love for Salem is tested. Salem is an irritating character. Salem is a megalomaniac. He reads Sabrina's diary and destroys her favourite Christmas jumper and then refuses to apologise for any of it.
This episode is notable as being the first one i've seen that reveals Salem's attraction to men.
The scenes between the little Kid and anyone are painful. Grown ups should play children in movies the way men played women in shakespearean productions. There's something gross about watching a child lie for money.
This episode also reveals a little more about Salem's past; something I always found fascinating as a child. Salem had a follower who he promised control of Denmark to. I wonder how long they tossed around what country it would be in the writers room and if anyone had the courage to mention The Sudan or some similarly troubled state with a colonial past. Anyway the accomplice was also turned into an animal. He turns up to Christmas dinner.
The side plot involves H&Z inviting up a rich relative for Christmas dinner or something. I can't remember anything about it.
Sabrina the Teenage Witch: Hilda and Zelda: the Teenage Years (1997)
Art Zeldeau
Six months ago I walked away from a project that was incredibly important to me: to watch and review every single Sabrina. I was not mature enough back then. I didn't have the commitment; the dedication. In short; I was not a man.
We open with a pretty simple gag. Hilda puts on someone else's sweater and is comically punished for it. Then Sabrina makes the same mistake. Sabrina laments that she can't just have an ordinary life. A theme that permeates the show.
Libby is such a piece of ass. I mean man. Oh man.
Sabrina wants to go to a Violent Femms gig and is joined by Libby, Gordo, Harvey and Hilda and Zelda; who refuse to let her go without them. In order to make them more acceptable to the group; they transform themselves into teenagers.
This episode features an abundance of secondary characters all with their own plot lines. Zelda and Hilda are forced to confront the ageing process. Sabrina is confronted with peer pressure. Libby see's the dark side of idolatory and so on. An episode like this needs very careful management to ensure that each plot line is given its deserved share of screen time. For the most part the episode is successful in this regard.
Zelda and Hilda learn to have a little more empathy for Sabrina and the challenges of adolescence. I spelled adolescence correctly on the first try and will now do the same with schizophrenia. Straight out of the park.
This episode is home to one of the most surreal scenes I've ever seen in a Sabrina show. The band randomly breaks out in song for no reason and everybody stops what they are doing and dances. A strange folk like dance. The kind of dance you do on Harvest day. Its merry, familial, childish and a little disconcerting. With some hand held jovial shots. You can almost picture the cameraman dancing just as hard as the cast.
Its made all the stranger by the fact that the music is real. The band is real. Our universe is bleeding into her universe of pure fantasy. There is no dialogue. No jokes. Its Sabrina Vérité and it all looks like it would be more at home in an Acid laced student film of the 1960's than evening network television.
The way Hilda and Zelda scream when they realise they have changed back to normal but are still in teenage clothes is over acted but the crowd absolutely loved that joke in particular. You can actually discern five or six people in the sound mix; each individually writhing with laughter.
Its really odd. I actually remember this episode completely differently. In my . memory, and I'm being completely genuine, Sabrina and Libby end up in a hotel room alone with the Violent Femmes. Libby starts getting pressured into sex and its up to Sabrina to stand up for her friend and stop her doing something she'll deeply regret. I still remembered the joke about the band loving Ren and Stimpy. That memory is completely accurate. Many years, two foreign languages, a degree and a failed relationship later I can't remember the plot outline. But I remember that the band loved Ren and Stimpy. That just makes me despair.
Over all I had a blast with this one and I'm giving it an 8/10. I can't believe I'm back. I can't believe I'm back. I can't believe I'm back.
Sabrina the Teenage Witch: Cat Showdown (1997)
A Slightly Calustrophobic Episode
As my life spirals further out of control it appears the darkness I am treading in has also engulfed the lens with which I critique this show. Zelda is a commodity to her, as is Helga, as is Salem.
As wicked as Salem is he is also terriblY vulnerable. He often has to weather the witchs with good humor. His threats are only ever of a playful nature. He knows he is in a very precarious position; only one scratch or bite away from the streets. He has had to take the role of dictator that once struck fear into the hearts of many and make it camp. How degrading it must be for him to have to pantomime the person he once was.
It is this quality of Salem's that Sabrina appears to exploit when she needs his help to win a Cat Show in order to earn money to go to some teen fancy. There is the pretense of a deal but knowing what we do about Salem's situation; is it any more legitimate than the tacit agreement a trafficking victim gives their pimp?
Sabrina comes to suspect that there may be foul play at the event. In this sense it becomes much like a murder mystery with much lower stakes. Like a murder mystery; it is crucial for the writers to get the viewer as emotionally invested as possible in several suspects. This is were the episode most lets the series down in my opinion.
Bob Barker is well played and the character is a joy to watch. The idea of a man becoming to old for the vanity of an industry that once made him is an interesting one. He is like a lot of real broadcasters. Friendly in an all too direct manner, somewhat detached from the reality unfolding around them, ceaselessly presentable, and thirsty for approval.
I enjoyed this episode though the setting, a small room with out much decor or character, does eventually begin to make the show a little claustrophobic. I felt a little like one of the crew members had put a gun to my head, was pointing to a studio light and was shouting "See that? That's the sun! Repeat after me! THAT'S THE SUN!"
Sabrina the Teenage Witch: Sweet Charity (1997)
A Fine Episode; lighter on its feet then the previous two
I have no qualms with the well oiled machine that is the Sabrina the Teenage Witch series only that its just that; well oiled. Here we saw one of the major components of that machine; the quick fix.
Sabrina is helping her friend with some sort of old person coral where students can come and ride the old people round an assault course and bet on who will win; and moreover who will live. She is struggling to get students to attend due to the deep and troubling nature of her friend's plans. Sabrina and her friend are totally ostracized at school for this bilious idea. But what if Sabrina could get one of the most popular girls in school to hop on an silver head and race it into a wall? Then her and her friend's awful crimes would be the talk of the school. The right way of course is too befriend said girl slowly, after displaying many noble acts and providing many moments. Sabrina decided to cheat on top of running the sort of operation that makes people across political and racial divides disgusted.
She turns her self into Libby.
Imagine that. Imagine that violation. Sabrina now knows Libby, every part of her, with the intimacy of a lover. She has total control of Libby's body. She worryingly parrots out Libby like phrases as though she has spent many hours by herself trying to escape herself and take refuge in Libby.
Zelda's romance has a fun surprise at the end that cunningly ties in with the rest of the story. Helda's subplot is worthy of a gag but nothing more.
Nothing wrong with this episode but no one in the production ,Melissa etc, walked away from it changed.
Sabrina the Teenage Witch: First Kiss (1997)
A much more heartfelt episode
Sabrina is a show who's theme's are as rooted in its demographic as they are their titular character. The first kiss, virginity's more family friendly younger brother, is a much anticipated event for teens the world over (bar theocracies or areas in which an ambitious social experiment has made it impossible in return for immortality). I remember wondering would it ever happen to me. I felt infinitely late for the ribbon cutting on my adulthood but I think everybody did.
It is valentines day and Harvey is no longer happy with he and Sabrina's love living in their childhood's and he has given himself the loft deadline of the end of the day. He is lucky because Sabrina reciprocates but they are foiled by moralities magic envoy once again. Sabrina is informed that if she kisses Harvey there is a 50/50 chance he will turn into a frog that is unless.... it is true love.
The episode reflects well our basic mistrust of other people, Our suspicion that we can never truly know some one and the catholic notion that love without heart is treacherous.
It made me sad that I do not have through love but hopeful that at least that the possibility of it might exist. I wanted to say something humorous about it but as always with these episodes I am transported back to when I was seven years old. How did things become so vile?
Sabrina the Teenage Witch: Mars Attracts! (1997)
An important test of Sabrina's love
There is a seminal moment in this episode. Sabrina is at a picnic on a papier-mache mars when her ski constructor reaches over to kiss her. I think: how old is the ski instructor? He could be 26. Sabrina looks around 16. Its a disturbing moment that the viewer has been dreading ever since her delayed call to Harvey and chirpy obedience towards the instructor. It's a moment that's disturbing because Sabrina is so easily taken advantage of. Lines from the instructor that make us cringe Sabrina readily submits to. In that seminal moment we are generating as much prudish Victorian energy as we can.
This episode reminds us of so many things; Sabrina's innocence, the nobility of adolescent loyalty, the Athenian nature of travel. The silly puns, and borscht belt humor form an able thread to sow together such rich themes.
I confess this is not my first encounter with this episode. It is one of the most persistent in my memory. The imagining of mars as a ski resort stuck with me. The idea of instantaneously being somewhere so exotic and also unequivocally American was intoxicating.
All in all this episode continues with the same comedic rigor the series has become known for; while still exposing real human relationships the people's living rooms.