alexander-jacobs Reviews

Casino Royale (2006)

"Shaken or Stirred?"

[10/10 · 26 November 2006]

Finally! A Bond film that isn't a parody of itself! out with the gadgets and in with good acting, interesting plot and sweet action! Daniel Craig is James Blond....I mean Bond, and he is one of the best Bonds ever, and he has to win a high-stakes poker game set up at Casino Royale, during the game he will get poisoned, attacked and still he manages to think up a few good comebacks.

It's also quite funny to see how he reacts to things in this installement in this long running franchise...

Bartender: Shaken or Stirred?

Bond: Does it look like I give a damn?

Derailed (2002)

oh.....my......god

[1/10 · 1 August 2006]

Wow....yeah, okay. Van Damme is lucky this film didn't end his career....it was that bad!

Special Effects: BAD Acting: WORSE THAN NORMAL Plot: BAD Stereotypes: PLENTY

Stay away from this film! this film is probably one of the worst films ever made in the past 100 years....and thats saying something!

This film might be even worse than a Uwe Boll flick, but I haven't seen any of his films to be sure....

This film is definitely going on my list of worst films ever, just below Spontanious Combustion.

Spontaneous Combustion (1989)

Derailed has been Dethroned

[1/10 · 23 July 2006]

Seriously, what is THIS? Hooper has made such classic films like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, then he made this god awful film, what happened? did he dip into the crack a little too much? This film is about some dude named Sam who has the ability to set things on fire,(Firestarter, anyone?) the acting was godawful, the plot was rubbish, and the special effects were extremely rubbish, they looked like something from the 70's. Van Damme should be pleased that Derailed is no longer the worst film ever, and what was with the ending? he started glowing blue, turned into a glowing blue blob, sucked out his girlfriends fire, and the film ended. WHAT WAS THAT? HUH? when the film ended I hoped the DVD would Spontaniously Combust to save me from my pain.

STAY AWAY FROM THIS FILM.

DON'T THINK, OBEY, you'll thank me later.

Army of Darkness (1992)

This....is my BOOMSTICK!

[10/10 · 14 July 2006]

Ash discovers the Necronomicon, a book which he uses to defeat the deadites, but it also sends him back in time to 1300 A.D, where deadites run rampant, Ash is mistaken for "one of King Henrys men" and sent to the pit, where he has to fight a deadite without his chainsaw or shotgun, but a wizard who believes him to be their savior against the deadites drops his chainsaw and shotgun into the pit, which Ash uses to defeat the Deadite with, when he climbs out, he finds out the only way to return to his time is to find the Necronomicon, which they also need to defeat the Deadites, Ash soon falls in love with a local and sets out to find the book, which is when all hell breaks loose.

Bruce Campell excels as Ash, the crazy S-Mart worker with a chainsaw attached to his arm, he gives out great one liners while killing zombies with his chainsaw and 'BOOMSTICK', often with comedic effect, this is a must see! GO WATCH IT!

The Running Man (1987)

Brilliance

[10/10 · 9 July 2006]

This is probably Arnolds best work.

It is set in the near future where all music and television is censored and are replaced by violent and mindless game shows, the most popular one being the 'Running Man' Arnold plays a cop who refuses to shoot unarmed people, because of that, he is framed for the slaughter of a group of civilians, several months later he brakes out of prison and meets Amber Mendez, who he captures and takes her with him out of the country, but Arnold is caught and sent to play in the 'Running Man' along with the other two people who helped him break out..........

This film is also got some great one liners to fit the action.

"I'll be back!" "Only in a re-run"

Sonic the Hedgehog (1993–1994)

The darker side of Cartoons.....

[10/10 · 2 July 2006]

Why did this show have to get cancelled? WHY? screw the Power Rangers, this cartoon showed that they all don't have to be fun and games, they could get serious.

The shows main character was..you can guess, along with Sonic are some characters better designed than ANY SEGA character, like Sally, Bunnie, Rotor, and who could forget Antoine? Some of the episodes are Cartoon masterpieces, like Blast to the Past (Sonic and Sally go back in time to stop Robotnik) and the Void (Sally and Bunnie are captured and sent to the Void by a resident of the void, a sorcerer named Ixis Naugus) Sadly, the only way to get the episodes now is to download them, but its worth it, trust me....

Constantine (2005)

Good Action Packed Religious Film

[10/10 · 9 March 2006]

This film is about John Constantine (Keanu Reeves) Who has been to hell and back, and is now a Exorcist and a heavy smoker, who only has a few months to live, who ends up helping a police officer find out what happened to her sister, who committed suicide, they then stumble on to a evil plot layed out by Satans son, who is now trying to cross over to our world, and Constantine, the police officer and Constantines friends try to stop, the special effects in this film was brilliant, it also has a very addicting song made by A Perfect Circle called "Passive" this film may touch a nerve to serious religious viewers so they might want to stay away from this film in the future, I highly recommend this film!