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diseasedmonkey
Reviews
Kinky Boots (2005)
The musical is better.
I saw the musical first and the film came as a bit of a disappointment. It's rather dull, and getting into the second half of the film my attention began to wander.
I think if I didn't already know the story, I would have stopped watching.
The arm wrestling scene was a bit naff and seeing Charlie on the runway wobbling all over the place was very cringey. And then he just sat there for the whole performance for some reason.
The relationship between Charlie and Nicola wasn't well developed - he never seemed to care about her at all, so why would we, the audience, care when they break up?
Of all the cast, Ejiofor does the best job as Lola.
The Flash (2023)
Shockingly bad.
I went in with sub zero expectations and was still disappointed. This movie adds literally nothing to the DCU. While there were some genuinely funny moments, they did not fit in with the tone of the movie as a whole.
Flashpoint didn't do anything! It wasn't even a plot, because to call it a plot would suggest that it means something and has consequences. Sure, purple Barry looked fairly interesting and it was cool to see the other universes - but Nicholas Cage as Superman ruined the tone yet again. Clearly humour was valued over consistent tone in the writer's room.
As for the cast, I had no real issues acting wise but there were no stand out performances.
I also think it's impossible to talk about this film without talking about the CGI in the opening action scene of the movie. Where did the budget go? Because it certainly wasn't the opening action scene. Those CGI babies were clearly related to Renesmee from Breaking Dawn. This is 2023 and that level of bad CGI is not acceptable in a big budget film like this. Genuinely, those CGI babies were horrifying and made it hard to focus on the rest of the scene.
Don't watch this movie. I want those hours of my life back.
Annie (2014)
A needless reboot.
Wallis does a good enough job as the lead role but she was not directed well and does not have much chemistry with the rest of the cast - none of the cast have much chemistry, for that matter. Foxx is simply wrong for this role, full stop.
The songs! The songs in this version are just tragic. Whomever made the decision to change/remove the songs in this film has a lot to answer for. As a lover of the original film, this was painful to experience. It's also a shame that the children were auto-tuned, it makes them sound unnatural.
Diaz cannot sing, and she was also wrong for the role. It's no wonder she was nominated for a Razzie for this performance.
The plot was butchered and full of holes. The third act is laughably ridiculous and spits on the original film.
Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)
Simply Awful.
This is one of the worst TV shows I have ever had the misfortune to suffer through. Honestly, I wish I hadn't bothered.
First of all, this show should not exist. There are no stakes, no tension. This adds exactly nothing to anything. The story is pointless. The fights lead to nothing, which is just frustrating. The writing is awful. The plot is lacking and there are holes everywhere.
As for the acting, McGregor does a good enough job, as does the young Leia but Ingram gives one of the worst acting performances I have ever seen. She overacts many scenes, which is just so bad. The performance is not in any way compelling.
Runaway Bride (1999)
Worst Couple Ever.
Maggie and Ike are two of the most unlikeable characters in a rom-com. They are both terrible people. Maggie has weddings like she has glasses of water. She clearly has committment issues, refuses to work on them, and then steamrolls over her fiancé's feelings as she leaves him at the alter. Ike is a petty, petulant man child. He wrote an incorrect (and sexist) article about Maggie ans her failed weddings, not knowing the full story, was fired for it (and rightly so), then set out to ruin the life of Maggie as he blamed her for his being fired. Ike humiliated Maggie on many occasions throughout the week they spent together - and yet somehow they fell in love anyway. Not only this but they agreed to get married after only knowing each other for less than two weeks.
Plus, the "storyline" of Maggie not knowing how she liked her eggs was beyond ridiculous.
In addition to the two leads being unlikeable, Maggie's family was equally so. They did not miss any opportunity to ridicule her, make a joke at her expense, and they were tripping over themselves to spill intimate details to Ike for his follow up article that Maggie opposed.
Sleepless in Seattle (1993)
Engaged woman stalks widower and his son.
I would not recommend this movie. As my review title states, an engaged woman falls in love with a man after hearing his voice once on the radio. She uses her job to hire a private investigator to find information on the man, including his home phone number. She flies across the country and goes to his home. All of this before deciding to end her engagement to a man who has done nothing to deserve this treatment. Her fiancé is very much the rom-con trope of being harmless yet overly dull, so some of his scenes are a bit cringe.
The acting is of reasonable quality, no complaints there. Even the child actor was reasonably good, which is rare.
National Theatre Live: Prima Facie (2022)
So Powerful.
Jodie Comer is absolutely fantastic in this role. Truly one of the best acting performances I have ever seen.
The plot is powerful and will resonate deeply with a lot of women. I would gobao far as to say this should be required viewing for everyone.
Drop Dead Fred (1991)
Painful to watch.
Extrenely unfunny and a waste of time. This film represents an hour and a half of my life I'll never get back. Absolutely one of the worst films I've seen.
Jumanji (1995)
This film is bad.
This film is really, really bad. I never saw this film as a child, so I'd imagine you'd need nostalgia goggles to enjoy it.
The animals look horrendous, even by 90s standards. The plot is a bit dull - not even Robin could save it.
The "joke" of Van Pelt being able to buy a machine gun without completing the paperwork does not hold up well given the mess of gun control in the United States.
The Witches (2020)
Anne Hathaway ain't no Angelica Houston.
Anne Hathaway isn't a bad choice for the Grand High Witch, per se, but she over acted some of the scenes and made her seem cartoonish.
Octavia Spencer is a great choice as the grandma, but why they made her a "healer" is beyond me.
Chris Rock's weird voiceover added nothing.
Daisy actually being a child was unnecessary and added nothing to the story.
Bruno was a poor character in comparison to the previous incarnation, and his parents even more so.
All in all, this movie is not worth watching. Stick to the original.
Agatha Christie: The ABC Murders (2016)
It's fine.
If you like Poirot, you'll probably enjoy this game. But the voice acting is pretty bad. Poirot is a let down, and Donald Fraser is quite frankly disgraceful. As a Scottish person myself, I was unable to listen to his voice without cringing.
The anination is pleasant enough to look at, and the puzzles are a good mix of fun and challenging.
Little Women (2019)
Skip!
This remake is missing the charm of the 1994 film. The emotional moments just don't pack any punch; Amy is insufferable as a whiny adult the whole way through, rather than a child to an adult; Beth is wasted, as is Marmee.
Honestly, I had high hopes for this film but was sorely disappointed. Even if you are fans of the actresses, give it a miss. There is nothing to be gained from watching it.
The Motive (2020)
Absolute waste of time.
Don't bother watching this documentary series. It's boring and nobody they interviewed has any light to shed on the crime or the boy who committed it. It would have been better suited ti being a 90 minute one-off, if anything.
Spencer (2021)
Snoozefest!
This is easily the worst film I have seen in the past 3 years, and it may actually be the boring film I have ever seen in my life. There was no plot in sight, absolute waste of time.
10 Things I Hate About You (1999)
Overrated!
Everyone loves this film and I can't see why. The characters are all unlikeable, all of the adults are ridiculously insane. It's neither funny nor romantic.
The Hangover (2009)
The worst.
For a supposed comedy, I did not laugh or crack a smile once. How this has a reputation as a film everyone loves is a mystery to me.
The Wonderful World of Disney: Annie (1999)
Not as good as you want it to be.
The 1982 version is infinitely better. The songs in this version just don't pack the same punch, the characters are less likeable, and there are cheesy lines that are a bit cringey. Disney should have left well alone.
Run (2020)
Very disappointing.
The conecpt was great but the execution was lacking. The ending is really what ruined it.
Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016)
Avoid.
I won't lie, I didn't finish this film. I made it about half an hour in and then turned it off. It's boring. So, so boring. Do yourself a favour and watch something else instead.
Godzilla vs. Kong (2021)
Yawn.
For a monster movie, it's boring. The score tries to make certain scenes overly dramatic and felt out of place. Suspending one's disbelief only goes so far and some plot points were ridiculous. The fight scenes were pretty cool but the entire plot was bad. I think whoever wrote this thought "What bad decisions and oversights need to happen for the film to happen?" And rolles with it. There are no smart decisions in sight here, it's frustrating to watch.
Urzila Carlson: Overqualified Loser (2020)
Fine
Title says it all. Some jokes just weren't funny, others were. I would definitely say that this comedian is not for everyone, though.
Apostle (2018)
Worth watching.
The first film in a while I have enjoyed this much. It is gruesome but not just for the sake of being so. I really enjoyed what they did with it.
The ending may not have been what everyone likes but I found it very appropriate.
Taking Lives (2004)
It's fine.
It's nothing special but it's fine. A somewhat predictable ending even though they were going for a twist. The acting is fine but again, nothing special.
The Notebook (2004)
Shockingly bad.
A truly terrible film about truly terrible people. The two protaganists are genuinely awful people and they are in an extremely unhealthy relationship. There is not a single redeeming feature about this film. Avoid it.
How to Get Away with Murder (2014)
I love it!
Season one is one of the best seasons of any TV show ever; it had me hooked instantly.
From the first episode to the last, the character arcs are excellent and the plot twists will always keep you guessing. The actors are all amazing, especially Viola Davis. The dark plots are so refreshing, it's all so wonderfully convoluted.
Having just watched the last episode, I am very happy with how it ended and I look forward to more of Peter Nowalk's work.