dominicrimmer Reviews

Jericho (2006–2008)

I nice idea, executed by cretinous morons.

[1/10 · 31 May 2007]

Having heard good reports about "Jericho" I delved in, hoping for a realistic and moving depiction of an American small town being isolated by surrounding nuclear attacks.

Christ I was disappointed.

Terrible acting and dialogue are unbelievable at first, and then steadily turn to laughable. The main character who mysteriously returns to "Jericho" after an unexplained five year absence is so heroic that in the first episode he saves an entire school bus load of children, including making a makeshift respirator for one of them with some straws and a pen knife! He is also a fine mechanic (although not as fine as the sexy school teacher whom he initially patronises when she offers her help), he can handle a gun, he can give moving speeches and he is an explosives expert ("Where did you learn to do that?" "I knew a guy once.")

The only black guy in it also mysteriously turns up and immediately starts telling people how to react in a nuclear war kind of way, like some kind of expert or something.

There's an impending romance between a "popular" girl and a "geeky" guy. Ther's a comedy madman who thinks aliens are attacking. There's a bus full of murderers that crashes while all this is going on.

I could go on but I don't have the energy. The only thing positive I can say about this programme is that it made me laugh, and I suppose that is a pretty decent positive, but how long will those laughs last?

Saw (2004)

What I was hoping to be a disturbing thriller, turns out to be trash.

[2/10 · 6 July 2005]

I went along to the cinema to see this film, optimistically hoping it would be "The new Se7en" that it was billed as. Right from the opening scene with the two guys waking up to find each other in some sort of cell with a dead guy lying on the ground, I was appalled by the acting of both of them. What followed was the story of a killer, yes a killer, who put people in really nasty situations that if they survived, they should somehow learn something about themselves. Thus giving the psycho some kind of twisted morality. As the story of the two guys unfolds, we find out that one of them is a doctor who cheats on his wife and the other guy is a photographer who follows people who are cheating and exposes them. From what I understand the killer is punishing the doctor for cheating on his wife, and the photographer for invading peoples privacy. Which makes no sense at all. If he thinks it's alright to force a cheating man to cut off his own leg, then taking a few photos seems a bit pale in comparison. Aside from this idiotic contradiction, there were limp performances from everyone concerned, including Danny Glover. The bad guy's voice sounded like the killer from Scream, and the final plot twist was just ludicrous. Like a doctor would not be able to tell that the guy lying on the floor for hours wasn't actually dead.

I am seriously disappointed that this film managed to get any sort of acclaim, as I didn't even find it's awfulness funny.

No Retreat, No Surrender (1985)

Karate Kid style martial arts extravaganza

[10/10 · 5 July 2005]

Quite possibly the funniest film of all time. Outrageous performances from all of the cast. J.W. Fails as RJ is one of the most unmissable performances of the 80's. In terms of films that are so bad that they are good, it doesn't get any better than this. This film also has some pretty damn good fight scenes, with some nice choreography from the ever reliable Jean Claude Van Damme. It spawned a series of excellent sequels. 2,3,and 4 are all stupendously awesome, however, in spite of being sequels they have no ongoing story lines or characters. Number 5 is pretty good, but with no story line of any kind, it fails to be as satisfying as the others.