Change Your Image
james-mcconnachie3
Reviews
The Aviator (2004)
Absolute p*sh
Okay maybe that's not too fair....oh wait...it is....this firm sucked like Elton John drunk on champagne. Looked great but where was the story? It was longer than John Holmes on poppers. I watched it to the end and forget the start of the film! Martin you deserve your eyebrows shaved for this one!
There was zero structure and Leo still looks like he's acting in a school play. Ther worst thing is that I told my wife this film would be good. As a direct result, I'm having to watch American Idol and Masterchef. Oooooo Scorcese or whatever you're called, when I'm famous and sniffing coke off the back of a Texan beauty queen, I'll be having a quiet word with you son!
Hulk (2003)
A missed opportunity
Don't get me wrong, this is a decent movie. But when I close my eyes and think of what the Hulk could have been the film can't help be a disappointment. My first introduction to the Hulk was in the late 70's, hiding behind the sofa as Lou Ferringo smashed through wall after polystyrene wall and ran about in slow motion. I was terrified! There are some reasons this film was not a classic.
1) Miscast - Bana was too confident, strong and good looking. Where was his angst and when he did get angry it was more like indigestion. I have seen a few Robert Downey Jnr films recently and his demons are never far from the surface. He would be the perfect choice for a sequel and closer to the Bixby mould.
2) The Hulk - The Hulk was always meant to be a manifestation of Banner's child-like ID. Pure rage that Banner couldn't show. I always imagined him as a kind of bullying older brother, who has no time for you, but nonetheless will step in on your behalf even though he is disgusted by your weakness. The Hulk hates Banner but this was never evident. In addition, he looked more like a wrestler then a monster of rage. I wanted the Hulk to be frightening with rippled sinew not a big galoot with soft eyes.
3) The transformation - now that was silly. It made the TV show look better crafted and the in the movie the change looked like someone inflating a dinghy. I loved the sound of the change in the TV show as it made the hairs on my neck stand up...still does. There was a simultaneously horrific foreboding and thrill as the eyes changed and the sound effect was heard for the first time. Banner and the Hulk were wrestling for control. I wanted it to be more Dr Jeykll I'm afraid. Sometimes lashings of CGI don't cut it. We are often more entertained and scared by what we can't see.
Tarzan's Greatest Adventure (1959)
The Prototype Blockbuster
This film was made 25 years too early. Thats a fact.
Movies from the late 50's were usually worthy efforts but little stirred the blood apart from the Western genre. After all this was the area that sold most tickets and had a palette of colour that helped storytelling. Tarzan movies only sold as part of a double bill.
The biggest factor that held TGA back was that it was a GREAT film in an otherwise p**s poor series of B movies. The reasons for its success are many and hard to pin down. Even so, the main one is easy to identify. Simply put, its a hard b*****d of a film.
1) Tarzan is hard, resourceful, eloquent and cunning. 2) Tarzan gets hurt. The masochistic theme runs throughout the film. People die painfully in this Tarzan universe. 3) The villains are brutally nasty and can physically match Tarzan. 4) It is stripped down and lean. There's no laughs here. Tarzan leaves Cheetah behind. Tarzan doesn't romance or swim in studio back-lots. Tarzan kills people. He doesn't just scare the natives.
In short, TGA was a precursor of what was to come in Hollywood film-making. All you kids out there who watch Predator and think that is the greatest jungle adventure watch TGA. It'll be an eye opener.