movie_mark_72 Reviews

Road House (2024)

Stick with the original..

[3/10 · 21 March 2024]

This started off quite promisingly and the consistently great Jake Gyllenhaal was indeed carrying it well, but within the first half hour it rapidly descended into the equivalent of a cheap, made for TV farce.

Connor mcwhatever was laughable and his arrival marked the end of the movie for me. A complete talent vacuum.

The original was a dark, atmospheric and well acted 80s classic.

This ranks alongside Sharknado, but without the kitsch humour.

The only thing missing was for Danny Dyer to appear as a comedy sidekick and then we'd have the full ensemble piece!

I'm going to watch the original again now to remind myself what a classic movie looks like.

Underground (I) (1998)

Seriously??!

[1/10 · 15 December 2023]

One of the worst films I've ever had the displeasure of sitting through.

(I say through, I'm calling time on it less that 45 mins in)

Ok so it's low budget, but that's no excuse for the diabolical script, the comically bad acting, forgettable soundtrack and laughable story.

For films that realistically capture the essence of 90's clubbing, head for Wiz's incredible promo for Flowered Up's 'Weekender', the BBC2 film Loved Up, or even the rave episode of Morse.

Non of them were done on a big budget but all captured the highs and lows of the rave era with pinpoint accuracy.

This film is a joke, look elsewhere.

The Pope's Exorcist (2023)

A total and utter waste of time

[1/10 · 11 July 2023]

I managed to sit through 25 mins of this laughable nonsense before kicking it into touch.

It is so incredibly bad!!

Russel Crowe sounds like a fast show character struggling to hold together a plot that plays out like a jumble of every exorcism / ghost movie ever made.

The possessed kid is just pure comedy....and the demons voice would better suit a baddy in an episode of Scooby Doo.

I might revisit the end tomorrow as I've paid 3 quid to hire it out, however I think it's quite unlikely.

....

Ok... So I came back today to watch the final hour or so and actually laughed out loud two or three times before falling asleep.

This is a such pointless, big budget car crash.

Doctor Sleep (2019)

Doctor LOL....

[1/10 · 16 August 2022]

This movie is a joke!!!

Like other reviews have said, this feels like a made for TV disaster.

Ewan McGregor needs a new agent!

More words of disappointment....

Bull (2021)

What a mess.

[1/10 · 11 August 2022]

Without question, the worst film I have ever seen.

The acting is pathetic. Absolutely diabolical.

The casting is laughable.

The script and plot couldn't have been worse if it tried.

Visually its comparable to a cheap daytime TV drama and looks like it was filmed on an iPhone (Not a new one either...)

Absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

I'm not buying the high ratings for a minute. This doesn't even deserve a 1.

Disturbia (2007)

Seriously?

[3/10 · 17 March 2021]

Was this written by a 13 year old boy?? Every cliche in the book!

The Girl Next Door (2007)

Shockingly bad

[1/10 · 10 February 2021]

Honestly can't understand the reviews praising this.absolutely atrocious movie.

The acting was diabolically flat. Felt like a made for TV daytime drama. Actually laughable.

There was absolutely no narrative or logic connecting any of the scenes whatsoever.

Obviously it's unpleasant to see a kid being tortured but it' felt like the shock factor was put in there to support the lack of anything else.

Utter utter nonsense.

0/10