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vladshumakovich
Reviews
The Batman (2022)
Batman fans have never seen a detective movie
Take any generic mafia/gangster/detective film of the 80s or 90s and it'll have better dialogue, better pacing and more authentic characters than the ones in this film. But I suppose the genre is new to Batman fans so this is a masterpiece in their eyes. Not a lot of wise guys are DC fans. Honestly I've seen better investigative sequences in episodes of NCIS and Law and Order and the like. Utterly dreadful snooze fest building up to the grand finale of the whole system being corrupt. Wow who would've thunk it! Fuhgeddaboutit. Except Gordon of course, who is as clueless about it as he is about everything else for the entirety of the film. Oh and after we find out the police system is corrupt to the bone, we give the Riddler to the police system. Which begins the only part of the film worth watching and surprise surprise, the consequences of the first two hours of plot development have nothing to do with the rest of the film. Oh right, exposing corruption was actually background noise for all the riddles for Batman.
Loved it when catwoman purred about hating privileged white men and proceeded to kiss the white man in the expensive armored suit just seconds later. You tell em, queen! And if you pay close attention you will notice that she was portrayed as an incredibly weak character for the majority of the film. This was disappointing to say the least.
How about when Batman took a c4 blast to the face without a single mark on his lovely jawline after? Wrong hero guys, this isn't Clark Kent.
Some serious recency bias is making people actually claim that this was as good as or better than Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight. Quite sad, really. Oh well.
The Happy Film (2016)
This film made me happier
I truly enjoyed watching this incredibly egotistical man completely fail to understand his ego. I found it hilarious that he was a hopeless romantic whose relationships kept failing. I do wonder if he would have been more successful had he stuck to a single method of attaining happiness for a longer period of time. The diversity of methods in quick succession that he chose ensured that he would not attain happiness nor peace in the long run. This is a man who, like many other creatives, is unhappy when he is not doing something new whether at work or in his personal life. And therein lies the paradox- by constantly chasing new experience he was ensuring that he will never attain the deeper happiness that he sought. Seeking a new high ensured to keep him low, however he never became low enough for his emotion to be grounded in reality outside of his endless stream of thought. I was waiting for him to say some key things that would make me believe that his experiences were truly changing him, but those words never came, not after meditating, not after the death of a close friend, not after reflection upon his long term relationship and not after falling in what he considered to be true love. All of that was to my amusement so he did succeed in the end; he made a movie that made me happy if not himself and I am grateful him for that. It is of none of my concern but I fear neither having kids nor being on the verge of death will make this man leave his ego behind, but that is the consequence of being successful in western society. Thanks for the movie, silly man.
The Old Guard (2020)
An amalgam of cliches
If you're a cinephile, you'll see that every single plot aspect of this movie has been done and overdone hundreds of times in the recent past. The dialogue is incredibly unimpressive for the cast of actors as well as the for their character roles within the film. The predictable very linear plot continued to unimpress as it trudged towards more unoriginal developments. If you enjoy cheap action movies that attempt to have depth but end up shallow, go for it. If you're looking for something fresh and unique, avoid it. It's wasted potential as usual.
Mute (2018)
Please ignore the bad reviews and give this a chance
It breaks my heart to see a truly wonderful film receive completely misguided and irrationally low reviews which may leave a work of art crudely underrated. The visuals are breathtaking, the characters unique and strongly developed, the acting exemplary and calculated risks are taken by the writers like in any quality movie. It's confusing only if you give up on it halfway through; every single aspect of the plot ties in with the big picture. There are questions you have while watching it and if that's a dealbreaker then plots with legitimate substance that build towards something aren't for you. The questions do end up answered and you will be able to put together all the pieces to an incredible tale that was thought out to the final detail. The length of the movie is not an issue as every scene ends up having relevance which is a difficult achievement that does not receive enough praise these days. Plus it takes place in an engaging and fascinating futuristic setting and it doesn't try to be Blade Runner so why compare it to that? So please don't trust the bad reviews and simply enjoy the ride.