ralph_valkenburgh Reviews

Stand Up Guys (2012)

Friends to the end, gangster style.

[9/10 · 8 January 2015]

I will start by saying that the reason for any of the bad reviews on IMDb, and I've read quite a few, is that they didn't understand the movie. They have no idea what this movie was trying to do, or what it's trying to be - a comedy about two broken down gangsters in their twilight years, catching up on lost years and trying to forget what has to be done... way too soon.

The whole idea is basically a movie that will try something that would, in most cases, fail. If it wasn't for the character development, the perfect cast for the job, and the right amount of dark humor, the movie sure would have followed down that road. Fortunately for us, it doesn't, and it is a joyride for us who understands - the emotions in the street.

I watched the movie twice now, and I must say that the first time you watch it, given you enjoy this kind of humor, you will be laughing throughout the movie. I mean, you must enjoy old crooks who catch up in their own way. The second time though, I was getting a little bit annoyed with some of the movie's choices. I didn't fully enjoy the acting like the first time when I watched it, neither the choice of words given to the characters. unfortunately I didn't fully feel the story because of that. Maybe this has something to do with my life being changed completely, I don't know. What I do know though is that if you don't know at all what's coming. If you enjoy to see these actors do what they do best. If you can laugh at pain and suffering (it being lighthearted, and not seriously mentally disturbing). Then you will be in for a ride - not a fast one, not a slow one, but a drifting one with lots of U-turns.

I could write a list as to why the movie was bothering the second time, but I won't. I'm afraid I will ruin it for someone, and it's just such a great movie. My advice to you when watching it: Don't take it too serious. It never means to take itself serious, so why would you?

The first time I watched it, it was near perfect to me: a 9.8 The second time I watched it, it was a 7.5

Therefore I will rate this movie an 8.6 - giving it a 9 on IMDb's score for it being underrated IMO.

Lakeview Terrace (2008)

Pressure felt like a horror movie

[8/10 · 3 December 2014]

I rented this movie after seeing it on IMDb. Seeing the so so rating I didn't expect too much from it. I was terrified by the role of Samuel L Jackson. What a performance!

Personally I think The idea could have easily walked the narrow border of an A/B movie. Thanks to Samuel's performance, the rest of the cast, and the screenplay plus directing, it was a very good movie. In fact it left me sweating of fear what will happen next (that same feeling you get with certain horror flicks).

The story talks to me personally, I am married to a woman from a different ethnic race than myself, and have been dealing with racism ever since I met her. Even from within our own families. To have a man like, Abel Turner as my neighbor would be killing. I don't know what I would do, I might do the same as this movie predicts.

I rate this movie more than IMDb, cause it certainly deserves a higher rating than a 6.2. It deserves a 7.3, at least. But because it's lower than it should be I shall rate it an 8!

Let's Be Cops (2014)

Lets be "by the book"

[6/10 · 1 December 2014]

When I saw the ads on the Internet I thought to myself, this concept is exactly what a comedy needs. A funny yet stupid idea of 2 friends who are down on their luck (It gives enough chance for crazy/hilarious scenarios to get into). Really, what they had was a perfect mixture for a true comedy classic. Though it wasn't executed, or written the way it should have been. It felt as if some executive producer heard someone pitched the idea, and the idea alone, and then jacked it. It truly could have been so much more than it is.

Character development is weak, the acting is somewhat over-the-top, the story is forced with screenplay-writing clichés, but I guess that's the new trend (don't fix what's not broken). I wish they could make a genuine funny flick (without raping a seemingly good idea), written by someone over the course of a few years, rather than a team put up to write a movie based on an idea, and that idea alone (with notations (which are improvised as the idea is being lay down to the team)), in 6 months.

I was disappointed to say the least. Would I recommend this movie to anyone? Yes I would, if they really don't have anything better to do, and already watched all the latest titles.

I give this movie a (somewhat undeserved) 5.7 because of the (undeserved) hype it got.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)

Dawn of the end of the franchise...?

[6/10 · 28 November 2014]

I want to precede this by saying that I absolutely loved, "Rise of the planet of the apes". Certainly in my top 30 of all time.

Dawn of the planet of the apes, unfortunately, won't be in my top 100 movies of all time. The CGI was done superbly, but that is the mainstream nowadays. I mean, for that matter I could like all of Marvel's monstrosities.

It was nice to see Ceasar again, and how the rest of his primate friends developed to be smarter than your average Homo Sapiens. But it just didn't cut it for me. The entire feel of the first reboot of the franchise was left out. Obviously, this was due to the rewrite of the script. Thanks to, who's name shall not be filed, oh wait, he actually wanted credit for that?

I wish I could describe to its entirety what went wrong with this one, but that's impossible considering the mistakes they made. I can however, tell generally where they went wrong. That means I have to describe what went so well with the first one. Which was emotion, the overall progress of the story, the development of the characters, twists, and undeniable clichés which are human to its core. You admire them, you hate them. The characters became your friends, and your enemies, and at the end of the movie it left you with a raw feeling of happiness and sadness at the same time. It left you longing for more, and it told you that (in the sense of how good the next one ought to be) to those who wait, good will come. WRONG. Everything I just said about the preceding title "Rise of the planet of the apes" was EXCLUDED in "Dawn of the planet of the apes". In fact, I just watched the movie with a grin accompanied by a frown, not knowing what to make of it. I finished it purely because I so enjoyed the preceding title, and had this feeling of having to know what will happen next.

Apes with guns, OK, it had to come to that. But seriously? Just a handful? Just a handful of people too? And of course, just Americans. What about the rest of the world? It wasn't just the USA that was struck. It was the entire world, right? No, but of course the only remaining live humans are from America, which not to forget, is ground zero. I also want to add, what about the rest of the apes that should have gotten their doze/infection, as the virus is airborne. Maybe the idea for the next movie? War for the planet of the apes? They should have given some fundamentals to what is going on, on planet Earth. This was just a sad excuse of a sequel. Not worth the time, or the money.

Don't watch it alone (too boring). Don't watch it with your kids (too violent), don't expect too much.

I'm feeling generous today, and I rate this movie a nice even 6.

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)

Transformers - Age of extinction - an extinction it sure is.

[3/10 · 15 November 2014]

Let me precede this by saying, I was never charmed by the whole Transformers hype, not even when I was a kid, and all the other kids were playing with their transformer toys.

I loved the CGI in the preceding movies, and obviously this one too. Does that make up for it? NO WAY!

I thought the first movie to be alright. The second one I was getting enough of the kid they used. The third one I was like, okay stop, near the middle of the movie. Now to age of extinction. What a fart it was (a 2.5 hour long one), and one let ripped by someone suffering gastroenteritis. I can write a book about it's awkwardness, and how unfunny it truly was. The only funny moment was when they killed off Lucas, who is new to the franchise, never had any character development, and his best friend did not mention him once after that happened. In fact he didn't even cry at the moment when it happened, but he did cry when Optimus Prime left the planet. ALIVE AND WELL.

This movie is a true disaster, avoid it, even if you can buy it one day for a buck, just turn left.

3/10 for the CGI only

Hannibal (2013–2015)

This show is literally insane, and I love it.

[7 October 2014]

first off, The dialog. It is so intense, cunning, creative, profound, Words are not enough. It grabs you by the brain and doesn't let go. And not a show ever, has done that to me.

The acting is so amazing in this show, you actually believe Mads Mikkelsen is Hannibal, the deranged, manipulative, super intelligent, homicidal cannibal. Hugh Dancy on his part plays the role of Will Graham, and does this with ever so much cunning as Mads Mikkelsen. In fact the whole cast is excellent.

after all these appraisal, I do have some remarks on the show, of course. It seems as that because the first season wasn't meant for Will to haunt Hannibal just yet, they created a lot of serial killers. Serial killers however don't arise like mushrooms out of the ground every time another serial killer has been put behind bars. Not in the same area at least. And they could have let some of the killers not be locked up the same episode they were created in.

overall this show is a must watch for psychological, horror, thriller fans.

I rate this show a 9.3 and will vote it a 10 for flabbergasting me all the way.

Bravo Mr. Bryan Fuller. I am eagerly awaiting the next season.

The Strain (2014–2017)

First few episodes were kind of brain killing to me.

[7/10 · 7 October 2014]

The pace was so slow, acting so out of tune, I nearly stopped watching it all together.

I am happy my wife didn't, and kind of forced me to watch it with her. Cause the pace did get up, and the acting did got better, and it has gotten to be a fun-to-watch kind of show where the 45 or so minutes don't feel like 65 (as the first few episodes), but more like 35. The pilot felt like it took my whole afternoon. Don't start in the middle though, as that would leave you with questions.

Even though they say it is a new approach on a zombie apocalypse, I still feel as if people are way too slow to react to certain circumstances. Important people react too slow as well, but are given the chance time and time again to get away unscathed. Good thing though, one nick and you are out.

Right now if anyone would ask me: "What do you think about The Strain?" I would respond with: "I enjoy to watch it."

I am glad this show doesn't bug me with as much weird over the top and bloody moments as The Walking Dead does, where a child can stab a knife right through an adults skull? Zombie or no zombie, there is no way the skull would deteriorate as they still need it for protection. I do like The Walking Dead though, it just had to grow on me for a season and a half before I like it.

A lot of negativity, I know. It's still a very decent show, and very enjoyable to watch.

I rate this show a 7.4, but because I can't give that here I will rate it a 7. I might raise, or lower my rating as the story progresses.

Wolf (I) (2013)

A good and cool movie. Just enjoy it.

[7/10 · 7 October 2014]

First off I would like to say that don't hate a movie for cliché's, Love it for it's originality within the cliché's (if it has some of course), cause this movie has it.

Wolf, a film I thought would be a flop, at least at first when a friend of mine recommended it to me (I hate Dutch acting. So washed up "Look at me, I am *actors name*, therefore you love me, and what do you mean with the character I portray in this movie is the same as in all my movies, people love my acting" style.). But man was I wrong. And when I say wrong, I mean WRONG. I enjoyed the entirety of the movie, maybe because I grew up in similar circumstances, with similar people during the 90's and 00's, or maybe because the acting, and Character development, and Dialogue was done/written superbly, and spot on.

The kind of story it holds however, has been overused, and understandably, it is therefore a cliché. Nevertheless the overall feel to it was different, as you got a chance to see Dutch street life as it has never been shown before. A real look into it, rather than a joke, or a failed attempt.

Wolf is worth the watch on any occasion, though I recommend you watch it with no more than 3 people including yourself.

I rate this movie an 6.8, for enjoyment, and time well spend.