nater3000 Reviews

Blood Monkey (2006 Video)

One Word: Disappointing

[2/10 · 25 May 2019]

A movie called Bloodmonkey (or Blood Monkey as it is written on my dvd copy) sounds like a schlocky, terrible, but ultimately entertaining attempt at creature feature. Throw in F. Murray Abraham trying his hardest to look like Fidel Castro, the guy who played Constantine on TV, and some terrible special effects, and you have the perfect Best of the Worst type of film.

Instead, we get an hour and 20 minutes of almost nothing, followed by 6 minutes of something, and 5 seconds of the actual 'Blood Monkey', which looks like a 5th grader used an online animation program to make King Kong, and believe it or not, those 5 seconds are the only moments we actually see the titular creature.

A couple of laughs were had, I will admit. This is filled with some terrible dialogue and editing choices, including a scene that I think they just forgot to record sound effects for, some dropped audio, and even a couple of blank frames. I spent a dollar on this since the title was funny and the cast was interesting, and if you can sit through terrible characters and sub-amateur filmmaking, you might enjoy this. If not, you'll likely end up like me; disappointed.

Rough Night (2017)

Surprisingly fun if you go in with an open mind!

[8/10 · 22 June 2017]

My fiancée doesn't really like movies; she gets a bit anxious and fidgety, so she gets up and walks around when we're watching at home. For the first time, she actually said we could go to the movie theater if we saw Rough Night. The trailer had looked alright, so I agreed, just excited that she would actually go to a movie theater with me.

She didn't leave her seat once.

The movie Rough Night seems like it shouldn't work. Scarlett Johansson isn't necessarily known for her comedic chops, the premise of a bachelorette party gone wrong is a little cliché, and Broad City, while funny, isn't necessarily a worldwide phenomenon that appeals to everyone. And yet I sat through the whole movie anxiously waiting to see how the hell he group of amazingly talented and hilarious women would get out of the situations they're in.

The plot is a little cliché, reminiscent of Weekend at Bernie's and The Hangover, but with a few unique changes that make it just new enough to be worth making. I was surprised at how many times is as sitting through the movie chuckling to myself even while nobody else was. I love all the little cameos in the including Bo Burnham, Eric Andre, Ty Burrell, and Demi Moore. They were all individually really good and worth watching. I was also floored by the main Bachelorette party. Each individual member has moments of absolutely insanity and hilarity, including Kate McKinnon, showing us, almost annoyingly that she is a character actor to be reckoned with.

All in all, I really really loved this movie. I think it deserves better than the 5.5 it has at the time of my review, but I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't get the recognition it deserves. Ghostbusters (2016) didn't, and that's also a shame, but in my honest opinion, anybody who thinks women can't be funny in plot driven movies needs to watch this and Ghostbusters; I can guarantee they will be proved wrong. Don't expect The Godfather; don't forgo in looking for a genius plot. Just sit back, relax, and have a fun time. It's worth it.

The Greasy Strangler (2016)

The 1/10 review is correct, there is no reason for this movie to exist...

[10/10 · 21 August 2016]

But I am so, so glad it does exist. It's a very oddball, just plain weird story that can't be explained without spoiling the plot, of which there is little. If you dare to see this film, expect a very awkward experience with lots of full frontal male and female nudity (the male are prosthetics and the woman has an enormous bush) and the most bizarre sense of humor since Napoleon Dynamite and They Came Together. You probably won't like this movie, unless you're willing to just suffer through a barrage of awkward pauses, repeated lines, and just stupid sex scenes that should have you in stitches. If you think this is really a horror, you're not expecting the right thing at all.

Show Yourself (2016)

Don't expect a typical horror

[9/10 · 21 August 2016]

I had no clue what this was going to be walking into it, other than knowing it was probably somewhat a horror, being that I was at Bruce Campbell's Horror Festival. What I got instead was a slightly uneven drama/horror, an unusual mix that worked very well, in my opinion. The characters were a little awkward, but overall, the main amount of time was spent with one man in the woods, and he does a great job of conveying his conflicted nature in the film. I must say that I was not expecting the plot to unfold as it did, and II was glad to see something so new and fresh in the "horror" genre, something not afraid to make it all about the emotions. The end will definitely leave you wondering if the main character is crazy or if he actually experienced everything the audience sees. I give it a 8.5 out of 10 due to the fact that some dialogue was a bit clunky and awkward, and there was almost too many music and walking montages, but overall, it was a beautifully made emotional horror with some incredible dramatic performances.

Tusk (I) (2014)

A really interesting movie

[10/10 · 17 February 2015]

Tusk is a extremely weird movie. You may or may not like it depending on your style of humor, horror, and drama. If you cringe easily but get get a thrill from that, this could be a decent watch. The visuals of the walrus suit are disturbing for a minute, and then comical the next.

Personally, I saw this in theaters, and I loved it. I haven't ever seen a Kevin Smith film before this, and I knew very little about his style, but if his other movies are anything like this, I will enjoy them. I thought the cast was very fitting in their parts. Justin Long and Micheal Parks have a great on screen presence together. Haley Joel Osment is really fun to watch, and so is Genesis Rodriguez.

To me, the best two performances come from Micheal Parks and Johnny Depp. People love to complain about Johnny Depp always playing a version of Jack Sparrow, and this was the departure people were hoping for, except they like to complain about everything, so they complained that he wasn't Jack Sparrow enough. Guy LaPointe was a funny character and his story kept me interested until I forgot about the walrus part completely.

The movie was creepy and funny and I thought it was a fresh new idea. Basically, if you enjoyed the idea of Human Centipede, but thought that was too stupid and overdone, this is a good substitute.