stompystomper Reviews

Contracted (2013)

Waste of time

[1/10 · 4 January 2014]

Avoid.

I read a promising review which inspired me to seek out this film.

I was disappointed with the script, the acting, make up and directing. The cinematography was the only redeeming quality.

The lead character Samantha was a self centred bitch who I actually hoped would die in the first five minutes. So to sit through an 84 minute movie, witnessing her narcissistic whining was excruciating. Her Mother, (played by an always welcome to see Caroline Williams) cared for her well being, as well as various friends, workmates and her Doctor, but at no time did she ever listen to any of them, instead pining for her irritating, uninterested girlfriend.

It seems the film makers aspired to make a gross out, body horror flick, which plays on the dangers of unsafe sex, but all they really ended up with was a monotonous mess which I am sorry I ever read the review on.

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (2010)

A good gateway horror film...

[6/10 · 31 October 2011]

Have you ever wondered what the Tooth Fairy does with your teeth once it exchanges them for a coin under your pillow? Guillermo Del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth, Hellboy) thinks he knows, and if you've seen any of his previous films, it will come as no surprise that his theory is dark, creepy, and anything but nice.

Young Sally Hurst (played by the talented Bailee Madison) has been sent by her mother to stay with her father, Alex (Guy Pearce), in Rhode Island at Blackwood, a Victorian mansion that Alex and his new girlfriend, Kim (Katie Holmes), are restoring. Alex is consumed with the restoration in order to establish himself as a world class architect, and has no time to bond with his troubled and Ritalin-popping daughter. But we've seen in the film's gruesome opening sequence - featuring a surprise piece of casting in Garry McDonald (best remembered for his Australian comedy character, Norman Gunston) as Emerson Blackwood, an artist and builder of the mansion - that the dark, yet beautiful mansion has a disturbing past which the caretaker, Mr. Harris (played by Jack Thompson with an almost passable American accent), would prefer to keep undiscovered.

Filmed on location just outside of Melbourne, the cinematographer and set designers offer a real treat, both indoors and out. I was envious as I watched the determined Sally explore the house and lush surrounding gardens (echoes of Del Toro's own Pan's Labyrinth), and finding the mysterious hidden basement which has kept the evil imprisoned within for 100 years.

If you hear whispering voices echoing your name from deep within a subterranean ash pit, you'd remove the bolts securing the door to see what's within, wouldn't you? Sally does, and unwittingly unleashes the little grotesque creatures who proceed to wreak havoc upon the house. And of course, it's only Sally who (at first) sees and hears them. The creature design, visual effects and voice talent portraying the creatures are top notch, but the line regarding less is more is crossed too readily and they are simply not as effective as when they remained in the shadows, taunting Sally from behind teddy bears or hissing her name through the walls.

I have yet to see the 1970's television movie which Del Toro, as co- writer and producer, has based this at times scary remake on but celebrated comic book artist, Troy Nixey (Mike Mignola's Batman, and Neil Gaiman's Only the End of the World Again), shows great promise as a genre director in this, his feature film debut. Bridging the gaps of logic in the script, however, proved to be a bit beyond him. Improbable actions from the adult characters left me not caring as much as the filmmakers intended us to, and Katie Holmes again shows her limited range in a role no doubt written to be a strong, sympathetic heroine but which she fails to bring off.

The real fun to be had with Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark comes from Bailee Madison's great performance, and experiencing the terror through the eyes of the misunderstood Sally. Adults may no longer jump at things that go bump in the night, but kids know better than to close their eyes - or lose their teeth.

Hancock (2008)

Desperate

[1/10 · 10 August 2008]

Hancock was a most frustrating experience. With cinema ticket prices rising, the quality of American summer blockbusters is falling. The makers of this film failed so badly to appeal to an audience of fans of the 'lethal weapon' movies with it's outdated attempts at homophobic 'humour', and down and out heroes that it shows how desperate Hollywood is for original stories. It thinks it is progressive by presenting a story of fateful inter-racial partners with no qualms and on the flip-side mocking homosexual people. WRONG! The movie-going public has progressed further than this. I will never watch a movie directed by Peter Berg again, nor a movie starring Will Smith again, for their egos have been far too well fed.