Change Your Image
thedapp
Reviews
Constantine (2005)
Holy-Moly, This movie was Righteous!
After hearing all of the negativity of this movie, I failed to see it while it was in the Theaters. However, lately I've been able to get an early copy of the Constantine DVD and I have been pleasantly surprised.
I've heard terrible comments ranging from Keanu's acting, the CGI, the story, and plot. Yet, when watching the movie, I can't seem to draw the connection. I understand Reeve's isn't the GREATEST actor in the world, but I thought he fit role very well. The CGI was awesome on my DVD; I fail to see the problems some people may have had. And when it comes to the plot, sure it may have been a little confusing, but the Matrix's plot was confusing as well! After I figured it out, I thought to my self, "Wow, cool story".
I don't understand what's up with all of the bashing. I'm a REALLY tough critic as well... I hated the F4 and RotS. But Constantine was really cool, I enjoyed it just as much as Sin City and Batman Begins.
Fantastic Four (2005)
Fantastic Flop
The story, or lack thereof, jumps around more mindlessly like an episode of Seinfeld; the only difference, is Seinfeld is funny. F4 tries to incorporate a lot of humor, however it all ends up a little (too much) bit campy. I would like to bring up an example but my head actually hurts too much after watching this debacle of a film... I haven't seen worse acting since "Revenge of the Sith."
Who directed this film? MTV? That's what it seems like; it plays out like an episode of the 'Real World'. There's a hot girl, a 'too cool for school' guy, a loser, and a brawny guy... Nothing's really explained, there are a ton of loopholes, no climax or build-up, it's just people 'doing stuff' on film.
A few things that really bugged me were: 1 - Why the heck did they get those specific special powers 2 - Why did the Thing's wife leave him (without even talking to him!!!) 3 - Why go into space when you can BUILD your own 'space-cloud-thing' 4 - Why am I even wasting my time talking about this movie... Here's the only thing I need to say...
The only people I can see enjoying this film are fan-boys and children 4-15. Worst movie of the Summer by far!
1/10
War of the Worlds (2005)
Signs II
This movie is the flop of the summer.
First of all, I hated the move Signs with a passion, and it actually seemed to be a better movie after comparing it with the debacle, "War of the Worlds." I agree with another user where this movies like mixing the "campy" elements of Signs and Independence Day, and then maybe ET, in a high-speed blender. It's gotta be Spielberg's worst movie in 20 years. It's a very predictable movie with little substance to it. A.I. is a masterpiece, story-wise compared to this.
And the consensus while leaving the movie was pretty bad too. Most of my friends said the ending was awful and it was too similar to the movie Signs. What a let-down, a few of them were huge Spielberg and Cruise fans and they said they were very disappointed...
Batman Begins (2005)
Wow. I second that "Best Movie of the Year" comment...
I absolutely loved this movie. Not only did 'Batman Begins' did the prior Batman series justice, it did the same to the entire action/comic movie genre. I don't want to sound like such a fanboy but it was so awesome how things fell together for this movie. First of all, my favorite director was Christopher Nolan (Memento/Insomnia), actor was Bale(American Psycho/Equilibrium), and hero has always been Batman.
I was worried that the movie wouldn't live up to the hype or that it could be a little campy (big budget super hero movies w/ a ton of well known actors tend to be); but it wasn't at all. The movie was very dark, sentimental, intelligent, and exciting. I felt Liam Neelson, Morgan Freeman, and Michael Cane all were outstanding in the roles that they played.
The only bad things about the film (if you can even call it that) is: IT LEAVES YOU WAITING FOR THE SEQUEL! In a small sort of way, but mainly because the movies so AWESOME you never want it to end.
The Amityville Horror (2005)
Cheap Shots Galore!
I was truly disappointed with the AVH remake. This movie was only made to appeal to a certain type of audience; young teenagers.
I swear, I thought this movie was rated R, but within the theater all I saw were walls of 10-16 year olds. This usually doesn't bother me when I'm watching a movie, but their annoying/planned screams after each cheap shot did.
The movie uses a lot of quick flashes and sharp noises to try to get a jump out of its audience. However, not once did I cringe because each 'scare' was set-up w/ a short calm silence... Come on, we all know somethings gonna happen.
But nothing ever really does happen. In fact, it's very similar to the Ring in a way (most overrated horror flick ever) except no one dies.
A movie with so many cheap shots should've at least been corny... then at least it would've been funnier to watch. But, the only reason this movie was funny was because of how poorly it was made.
God of War (2005)
Awesome Graphics and Gameplay
The last game I really enjoyed on the PS2 was Metal Gear Solid 3. I loved everything about it, mainly the game-play, graphics, and story. Since then, I've bombarded with a series boring and bland titles. When will something good come out?!
Luckily, something good did come out; but I wasn't there on the game's release. I was a bit skeptical about God of War because there have been a few Sony games in the past with a bunch of hype that didn't live up to the hype. However, GOW is completely different. After hearing the reviews for God of War and finding it for only $32.99 on Outpost; I had to give it a try.
Boy was I amazed!
The graphics are outstanding and the controls are very easy to play. Anyone can pick up this game and have fun. That's what I love about it because I don't really have much time to get too involved with a 'tedious' game.
Hardcore gamers might complain about the game being too easy, not having enough replay value, or it being too short. I, on the other hand, embrace it for the same reasons. I loved the story, graphics, and gameplay; it was an excellent game.
Graphics: 10, beautiful in HD Game-play: 9, easy-yet fun Sound: 10, just awesome w/ loud speakers Story: 9, very entertaining Overall: 9.7
Carlita's Secret (2004)
7 Words, How could anyone give this a 10?
Why Why did I watch this movie? Well, during the past weekend I was hanging out at my friends house and he wanted to watch this movie because of the lead actress. I wasn't excited to see it, nor was anyone, but we had nothing better to do.
How bad is it?
Sound - 0/10 It's pretty bad. The sound volumes are very annoying and there is a constant barrage of wind in the background. The music overpowers the dialog in almost every scene. Plus the gun shots sound like popping plastic bags.
Music - 0/10 Very lame background music. Sounds sort of like cheap porno music, yet there's no naked girls. Plus there's this one rap song that repeats the word "mutha-f-cka" that plays in almost every scene. Durring one instance, it was on a loop for 12 minutes.
Girls - 4/10 It didn't really do anything for me, nothing to rave about.
Action - 3/10 I'll give it 3 more action points than it deserves. The gun scenes in this movie are hilarious...
Comedy - 6/10 It's a very funny movie because of how bad it is. I love the bar line where the cop goes up to a girl and says "Hey sweetie, can I buy you an orgasm" and then he lays his hand on another girls butt cheek... Classic.
Overall - 1/10 Please don't see this movie. Life is too short to waste.
Sideways (2004)
Yawn... And Yawn...
I was fairly interested in this movie to begin with. The advertisements drew me in and I wasn't expecting too much. It seemed like just another indy film. And indeed it was... Actually, more like one of those indy films that you struggle staying awake for.
Throughout the movie, I was disgusted with Mile's performance. He was awful to listen to and look at. I had no sympathy what-so-ever for him. I've seen it before... Doesn't anyone remember American Splendor? Paul seems to play the same role over and over and I'm really getting bored with it.
The entire movie is about wine and relationships... YAWN... All I can say is, who cares. What is this, an huge marketing tool for the wine industry? Please. If I wanted to hear people ramble on about wine and their poor sex lives, I would've joined a snobby country club.
Then the worst part was learning about all of the awards this movie was receiving... What an injustice.
Sin City (2005)
In a word, Awesome
I was anxiously awaiting Sin City ever since I heard that it was going to be a live-action film. But throughout the months that led up to its opening, I was constantly asking myself, "Could they pull it off", "How can they film this scene", "I hope they don't make it politically correct"...
All I can say now is, "Wow". This movie is excellent... But keep in mind that I'm a fan of the Graphic Novels and I could understand why someone would hate this movie. The movie is very dark and violent (just the way I like it) and I've already seen it twice. The first time, I was in awe and comparing the book and the film in my head. The second time, I just sat down and took it in with awe. Everyone (7 different friends) I went to the movies with also loved it as well and only half of them (3) have read the books.
The coolest thing after watching this movie was when a guy on a date behind me said "Wow, that was the greatest movie ever" and his date said "That was disgusting, I want to go home".