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Suspiria (1977)
9/10
Hmmm
16 February 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Alright. I have read the bad reviews that people have given this film. I can completely understand why they have been written, and I respect the opinions of those that have them.

Before I go on to explain why I love this movie so much I'll have to talk a little bit about its shortcomings.

The major thing that should be faulted is the acting. Perhaps it is just the dubbing, but the acting is quite lousy. Jessica Harper, and some of the older actresses, suit their roles very well yet for the most part the acting verges on being laughable. As well, the pace should be somewhat faulted as there are a great deal of moments that could have been cut out to make it a better movie.

When I truly think for myself about this film these are the only problems that I can think of. Certainly these are problems that must be mentioned, yet there is so much that I love in this film. For one, I actually quite enjoy the plot of it. It is simple, yet built up in a way that is exciting and sensible (to some degree). The score is terrifying, though quite repetitive. It is quite an intense piece of music that that band Goblin wrapped together, I must say.

As for why this is perhaps my favorite horror movie of all time, save maybe Dawn of the Dead or The Shining, let me rave for a while. This film is like an extremely violent acid trip. The color is completely out of this world, making you feel as though you are part of something truly supernatural or alien. As well, the 'story behind the story' is really really cool and I found it to be somewhat creepy. There are certain scenes, even non violent ones, that just freak me out. Like the scene where Suzy is in the dancing room amidst some horrible sickness. It honestly seems as though she is being literally forced to dance by some strange power in the school.

I don't even need to say that this film is atmospheric because that is something that is just known by all horror fans. What I need to say is that it really is quite terrifying. Despite the lack of emotional depth the film remains an emotional experience for me. Maybe I'm just a wacko, but I really really get into this film when I watch it. It is the most violent and elegant piece of horror that I have ever seen in my entire life. There are certain images in this movie that completely haunt me. And yes, the last 12 minutes of Suspiria are completely horrifying.

I think perhaps the reason that I love this film so much was that it is the film that made me fall head over heals for horror. I had always been a fan of horror to some degree, but when I saw this it turned into more of a full on fascination. It sometimes leaves me with sleeping troubles to see this movie. See it, and if you don't like it, than discuss that. I can totally see why people both love AND hate this film. In truth, when considering depth of character or social commentary or whatnot, the film does not seem to have so much substance. But when you get beyond this and see it as some sort of a weird nightmarish supernatural world then the style in a way becomes the substance and you just have to let yourself get taken away by it. Sure the plot can be slow and certain moments perhaps would have been better left out, but it is actually something of an engaging story as well. The ending is pure genius, not only because it has the power to scare the living dead out of me, but because it comes together so well. It is perhaps the most powerful ending that I have ever seen in a horror movie, save perhaps the ending of The Exorcist (which is powerful in a different way).

So, if Suspiria is not your kind of thing but you still want to give horror a chance I would recommend something like The Exorcist or maybe some of those old Roger Gorman Poe adaptations. But it is always a good idea to keep an open mind to these things. If you accept it for what it is you could just end up having the ride of your life.

(By the way, Helena Markos scares the daylights out of me)
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Inferno (1980)
2/10
Wow...
16 February 2005
I'm sorry, but this movie was a travesty. I completely respect Argento's style and understand that plot is not what he concerns himself but this film was a waste of time. At least in Suspiria and Deep Red there was enough of a plot to sustain one's interest. In this there was absolutely no plot whatsoever. Even so, this is not truly what I disliked about this film. Where his other films may lack 'substance' (I find that they have substance, just in a different form) they made up for it with nightmarish insanity and heart-stopping violence. This has none of that. The sets are Gothic and beautiful, that's it. I hate to sound like a morbid sadist but what redeems Argento's films the most are his awe-inspiring death sequences. This has someone getting stabbed, and not in a very interesting way either. The score as well is a lard disappointment. It just doesn't creep me out at all. Why he didn't enroll those zany Goblin musicians is beyond me. Maybe he wanted to expand his horizons. I can sort of understand why he did this movie (perhaps to expand his vision of nightmarish horror?) but it just lacks any real tension of any kind. An awful movie. I'm sorry to say it.
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Tenebrae (1982)
6/10
Am I the only one who doesn't see the light in Tenebre?
14 February 2005
Dario Argento has, in my opinion, crafted two of the most terrifying horror movies that I have ever seen in my entire life. Both Suspiria and Deep Red leave with sleeping troubles every time that I see them. Sure, his films often lack coherent plot structure, and when they do they are totally insane (which I personally like, see Phenomena), but they have an essential ingredient that not a lot of horror movies have. They act more as violent nightmares than they do as sensible films. Tenebre has a lot of the usual Argento elements, mainly being bright colours and creative death sequences, but I find that it is lacking in many things. What I loved so much about Deep Red and Suspiria was their elegance, and most imporantly, atmosphere. I find that Tenebre is low on this. Also, for the most part, the death sequences are actually a lot less creative than some of his other movies. Though I have come to appreciate the end, in its total 'all-gore no-sense' glory, and can sort of understand the psychological element to it (which I'll admit is actually stronger than Deep Red's) it just does not horrify me. The soundtrack, in my opinion, is terrible. Coming from musicians of Goblin I was expecting more. These are the people who wrote some of the most amazing soundtracks in horror that I have ever heard (Suspiria, Dawn of the Dead, Beyond the Darkness, Deep Red). Despite their glorious past, this just sounds like cheesy dance music. Oh well. Maybe it's just me.

Not as haunting as it could have been. Actually rather bad in some ways.
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7/10
A really strange and disturbing masterpiece of hilarious nonsense
1 February 2005
Though this is one of my all time favorite movies, I would still have to give it 7 out of ten because it has too many flaws for me to rate it as a perfect film. For one, the plot does meander and great deal. Also, the characters for the most part are pointless and annoying. Still, this does not matter in the world of Herschell Gordon Lewis. This is easily one of the stupidest, most unbelievable, disturbing and hilarious movies that I have ever seen in my entire life. You'll find yourself laughing out loud as you vomit at the sight of people having swords shoved down their throats, being done in with punch presses, being chainsawed in half and every other disgusting thing you can possibly imagine. Only in the world of cinema can things this ridiculous happen. That's what I love about movies, they take you into a different world, and this movie does just that. Aside from the gore, what really makes this movie stand out is it's evil villain 'MONTAG THE MAGNIFICENT'. After watching this movie, my friend Jason and I decided to start worshipping him and revelling in his badassness. Also, what totally rules about this movie is just how terrible the acting is. Ray Sager is actually the worst actor of all time. It made me laugh the entire time I watched it, yet at the same time his presence has an unnatural creepiness to it. The ending has to be seen to be believed.

Truly a unique horror film that should be seen by fans of bad cinema or just anyone who wants to be totally grossed out and given nightmares.

(My personal rating is 10/10)
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