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crazychurchill
Reviews
End of Days (1999)
Schwarzenegger post "Batman & Robin" (spoilers)
When I heard the tag line for this movie, "Schwarzenegger vs The Devil" I was hooked. I'm an Arnold fan, and the concept sounded goofy enough that it could be fun. Also no matter how bad it could be, it could never be any worse then the abomination Batman & Robin. I rented this on VHS about a week after it came out at Blockbuster. I heard the mixed reviews, but it's a Schwarzenegger film, they're never Oscar gold worthy. So I popped some popcorn and sat down to watch it.
To my surprise, it was actually good. Better then the average Schwarzenegger film. Sure it didn't have all the typical Schwarzenegger quirks, and gimmicks, because for once it tried to be more then just a Schwarzenegger film. For that I respected it. However it still wasn't perfect, you had plot holes, you had some bad dialog, some bad acting(Robin Tunney), and they pulled their punches at times and didn't push it further. However it was still entertaining.
The original script for "End of Days" was darker, and more graphic. Also the film was to originally be directed by Marcus Nispel, who directed the remakes for Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday the 13th, and Conan. I can just imagine how much more graphic, longer, and inappropriate the mother/daughter threesome with The Devil would have been. However that version would have starred Tom Cruise in the title role of Jericho Cane, Udo Kier as the Devil, and Kate Winslet as Christine York. With Robert Englund as The Satanic Priest, and actresses Shannon Tweed, and Christina Hendricks rumored for the roles of the Satanic Priest's Wife, and Daughter. Ah what could have been.
In the end it was still a decently entertaining film. However I'll admit when I'm in the mood for a Schwarzenegger fix I'll pop in Predator, or Terminator 2 before this.
Evilspeak (1981)
Abused Nerd + Evil Computers + Killer Pigs + Naked Hot Chick in the Shower
This is one of those guilty pleasures. The budget is low, effects are outdated, story is cheesy, and the acting... well actually the acting isn't so bad in this. Clint Howard does a great job as the out of shape abused nerd that just happens to be in a Military School. Don't ask me why he of all people would be there in the first place, it's best it you don't try and poke at the plot holes, or things come apart pretty quickly.
So this movie follows a simple basic formula, people abuse nerd, nerd finds satanic book, nerd becomes possessed, nerd slaughters those who did him wrong. It's that straight forward.
The most enjoyable scene in the film for a variety of reasons is when the greedy secretary Miss Friedemeyer who stole Stanley's book because she wanted the jewel pentagram from the cover goes home and tries to pry it off but can't. So when she runs into a dead end with that she then strips and has a nice shower scene for the audience(I didn't complain). While she's showering she hears a noise, the first time she shakes it off as if it was nothing, the second time she gets out of the shower to investigate. When she opens the bathroom door to see what the noise is she's attacked but a pack of wild bores(pigs). She desperately flees to the bathtub with no avail. The bores attack her, ripping her apart, and thus eat her alive. The final shot of Miss Friedemeyer is when the bores flip her dead body out of the tub, and tear out her intestines.
This movie is a cheap, campy, cheesy horror flick. It's good to watch on a B-Horror film night, or when your bored and you have nothing better to do. Normally I'd give this film a 5/10, but the Miss Friedemeyer death sequence made me take it up a notch to 6/10.