thebasquez Reviews

The Wedding Ringer (2015)

Actual truthful review about the movie!

[4/10 · 19 January 2015]

If you are a mainstream American typical conformist kind of guy, then you'll like this movie.

If you aren't you will think it's very unfunny.

The plot was made by a 7 year old, jokes written by 13 year old's and Vine users. Product placement and intensity of cheap meaningless actors implies this movie is only in it for the money; you'll forget this movie ever existed after a year or so.

Good job Kevin Hart, but I mean even he's idolized for his swag humor... "NO HE WASN'T READY" (If I hear that joke one more time I swear to god)

The plot is a big bore, with insert racial, penis, or jackass styled joke here.

The Love Guru (2008)

This gets a 2/10 for one reason

[2/10 · 9 December 2013]

I liked the "blowme" scene so I added a star... besides that I never really like Mike Myers a whole lot so this was just the movie that made me dislike him.

This shouldn't be called, "The Love Guru" it should be called, "Unfunny penis jokes, by Mike Myers."

You know that guy Marco Schnabel? Sounds familiar... oh its the guy that directed the movie!

... well see yeah. Hope you had a nice career. *flushes toilet*

Okay seriously, I didn't like Austin powers, I didn't really ever totally liked Mike Myers.... so its not like this movie wasn't a disappointment so I gave it another star so it would be above my other bad ratings...

You see I dislike bad writers, like Mike Myers, who think they write good movies that are bad... THEN CONTINUOUSLY DO IT!

M. Night Shyamalan is by far worse, so bad, I seriously gave "Birdemic" a better rating then Avatar the Last Airbender the movie...

I'm doing the same with this movie, no disappointment, 1 funny joke, ehhhhhh 3/10

This Is the End (2013)

Stop saying this movie is bad

[9/10 · 9 December 2013]

Yes I'm giving this movie a 9/10 for some very important reasons.

1. This movie has some crude humor, but they get it RIGHT! That's hard to do! I'm impressed they made me laugh with all of it!

2. If you love the actors you'll love the film. People are like "SETH ROGEN IS MY BELOVED ACTOR, HE WAS SUCH A HUGE LET DOWN." No he wasn't, the whole movie was to make jokes about all the other actors and Rogen was the writer and director but he was not the focus of the movie, and he did a good job. "Hermione stole all of our sh*t" was a very laughable scene with Emma Watson and the other guys.

3. This whole movie is a satire!!! Some people gave this movie a bad rating because the whole religious aspect was not accurate, but they were making fun of the exorcist and the fact that bad people only do good things when they know they are going to die. They were making fun of the whole apocalyptic genre and it was really hilarious in general!

4. If you're reading reviews to see if the movie is good or not, just stop and watch the movie... It's definitely laughable.

9/10, upset Seth Rogen fans be quiet; actor and movie comedy was great, satire comedy was perfect, crude humor is actually funny. This movie is a must see!

Pearl Harbor (2001)

It's only good if you're in it for the romance.

[6/10 · 26 May 2013]

As I do agree with the fact that this story is mainly based on a love triangle with 2 best friends and a girl, I still believe that the director (Micheal Bay) did a decent job on capturing the Pearl Harbor event.

The movie... has too many fillers in it. There's a lot of pointless scenes in the movie that should have been cut out, like a previous critic reviewer said "a 2 hour movie stretched into 3."

If you look at Micheal Bay's movies, they are all typically long movies... Titanic, Avatar, etc. Plus, Micheal Bay movies are also typically based around LOVE STORIES. If you looked at the cover of the movie where it says "Pearl Harbor" then "directed by Micheal Bay" you can't complain about the romance in the movie, because that's practically a given on almost any Micheal Bay movie.

Just like Titanic, it's a romance twisted around a real life event. The romance drama is actually very good and it keeps you locked into the movie. I really liked the situation of the love triangle and the fact that Rafe came back to find that his one and only love had fallen in love with his closest & best friend Danny. HONESTLY, THE WHOLE STORY REVOLVING THE ROMANCE WAS GREAT.

Where the movie lacks MAJORLY is the accuracy of the real life event of Pearl Harbor. Now the reason why this movie has a big fat ol' "F" of a rating on IMDb "5.8" is because when you call a movie "Pearl Harbor" IT SHOULD BE ABOUT PEARL HARBOR. There was a lot of foreshadowing throughout the movie that Pearl Harbor was the target for the Japanese. Why? I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE Micheal BAY DIDN'T TELL US. People who have no historical knowledge of Pearl Harbor will feel lost watching this movie. BESIDES THE FACT THAT PEOPLE DIED AND THE Japanese BOMBED PEARL HARBOR, WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON.

Also, the film featured "Doris Miller" and his story of the black cook hero of Pearl Harbor. You don't know who Doris is? Well that sucks. Micheal Bay apparently didn't want to do a very good job at explaining who he was. He comes in a scene here, then a scene there, and all of a sudden he's shooting down an aircraft. Why this has any sort of importance, WE DON'T KNOW. Then he gets a medal, why? WE DON'T KNOW.

Overall, one half of the movie I'm like "YES I LOVE IT" the other half I'm like "THIS IS TERRIBLE"

So I'm giving this movie a 6.5 (I put 7 though)

Not one of Micheal Bay's best movies.... BUT IT'S STILL WORTH WATCHING.