KSprowl Reviews

Penny Dreadful (2006)

Plot line was lame and didn't jive, but acting was incredible by the lead actress

[4/10 · 21 August 2007]

After watching the entire movie, there is a big let down about 3/4 of the way through because the film does not really tie up or make sense of the murders or why the killer is doing what he has done, except to say that he is an escaped mental patient.

This story might have worked if the killer was tied into the original reason that the titled character, "Penny" was so afraid to go in a car because he was the cause of her mother's death.

Otherwise, there was no coherent reason why the "hitch hiker" killer decided to torture the main character and allowing her to live so he could torture her mentally and then be so quick to kill everyone else in the movie.

However, the acting in this movie, especially by the lead character, Rachel Miner, is very convincing and draws you in and makes you care about her character despite a lame plot.

Tom Cruise's ex-wife, Mimi Rodgers, a very talented actress, plays the psychologist in the movie and sadly the majority of her role she spends playing a corpse.

Borat (2006)

I am scarred for life after seeing the nude fat guy wrestle a nude Borat

[1/10 · 27 December 2006]

This is one of the worst movies that I have ever seen! This movie is a a sad collage of rip-offs from shows like "Jackass" with the twist that it is about a mockumentary of a foreigner's trip to the U.S.

The only reason for the popularity of the film that I can see is that people must like it because it makes foreigners look stupid by placing the main character, Borat, in juvenile disgusting and embarrassing positions where he is making a fool out of himself and humiliated without even realizing what is happening.

The worst scene had to be a nude Borat wrestling his naked fat friend on the bed...like I said above, I scarred for life. Every time I see a fat or a dark foreign guy on the street or in an elevator that horrid image is going to pop into my head.

What is ever worse yet, I took my 13 year old and his friend to this disgusting attempt of humor and will have to explain to the other boy's parents when he talks about seeing two naked guys wrestling on a bed, a naked boy's penis, a guy taking a dump in front of Trump Tower and attempt to kidnap Pam Anderson.

Clerks II (2006)

Biggest disappointment ever!

[1/10 · 1 December 2006]

I am a huge fan of Kevin Smith's dry, intelligent, offbeat wit, which makes the stomaching of this one gross white-trash cliché after another nearly imbearable. Holy cow, has been smoking as much weed as his character to think this was funny, or did he just become rich and lazy? I cannot remember laughing once, even once, through this train-wreck attempt of a movie. I suggest skipping the movie entirely and renting the "Clerks" cartoons disc 1-6, or better yet, rent "Mallrats", "Dogma" and "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" to not pollute your mind with the trash of this movie, but instead see what Kevin Smith at his best is capable of. The donkey scene alone is a crime against humantity. It was not cool in "Bachelor Party" and surely has to be an embarrassment to Tom Hanks; if not, it should be!

Haunted Highway (1999)

Sort of a modern version of Edgar Allan Poe's "Tell Tale Heart"

[7/10 · 9 August 2006]

This movie was in the "new release" flyer at Family Video so we gave it a try. Although it was obviously a fairly low-budget film, I was surprised at how overall it kept us interest until the very end.

Some of the special effects are hinky and not believable, especially the bright red blood on a sheet would be brown after being in the trunk for a few hours, so it is not likely to interest the younger crowd that is used to high-budget special effect.

However, if you are fan of Edgar Allan Poe's and enjoy a story that shows a man's descent into madness, you will enjoy this movie up to the very end.

Batman Begins (2005)

Major disappointment due to extreme miscasting..

[1/10 · 19 October 2005]

While outstanding performances are given by Christian Bale as Batman, Michael Caine as Alfred, and Liam Neeson as the guru/bad guy, they are nullified with the poor and unbelievable casting of the rest of the characters.

Katies Holmes (Rachel Dawes) is not believable in the role she has been cast in as Assistant D.A. and comes off more as a little girl playing dress up, especially with the contrast of the powerful charisma of Christian Bale. There was no on screen chemistry and I just was just not buyable that Bruce Wayne would pine for

Cillian Murphy is another major miscast in this movie; he is neither old enough or a good enough of an actor to bring across the sinister deception that this character needed to be believable. Incidentally, Gary Oldman, who was cast in the move as the "good cop" would have been perfect for the role.

This movie is not even worth at the $2.50 rental that was paid, even if you are a die hard Batman fan, wait 6 months and rent it from the 50c ent movie section as it really isn't worth more than that.

The Prophet's Game (2000)

Great cast, interesting story line, but does not deliver.

[5/10 · 2 June 2005]

Movie has a wonderful cast of talented actors in off-key roles for each; Dennis Hopper at the "good guy retired cop", Stephanie Zimbalist as a church-going cop with cropped hair (looks nothing like she did when in the series with Pierce Brosnan!) and Sondra Locke as the serial killer running the game. She is short cropped and looks very different than she did in any Clint Eastwood movie...I did not recognize her face, only her voice, and had was surprised at the end of the film to see it was her. Another recognizable voice is Michael Dorn (Who played the Klingon in Star Trek - The Next Generation) as a very authoritative, convincing cop.

Worth it to watch for the cast and their wonderful performances alone and potentially great storyline...just something must have gotten lost between the translation and the story comes off as stiff and unbelievable in parts. Great special effects and still recommend renting this movie.

The Remnant (2001)

Winner of the John Mellencamp Look-a-like award...the Zombie Bad Guy

[9/10 · 25 May 2005]

Part comedy, part horror, was an interesting movie to watch. Cinematography looked low budget in spots, but plot was original and screenplay interesting and well executed by the actors.

We did have to laugh that it looked like a young John Mellancamp, complete with leather jacket, being the zombie bad guy. Part horror, part adventure and part horror. People were everyday looking, with the execption of the "zombie" and therefore much more believable than your typical Hollywood actor that you note is "Ms. Thang playing a part"...you get drawn into the plot and the story instead of wondering who the actors are and what the tabloids say about them.

Film-making at its best is with a low budget, good script, good direction, original plot and good actors. This movie delivers all of these.

Riding the Bullet (2004)

Only a die-hard Stephen King fan can appreciate this movie

[4/10 · 10 May 2005]

As I am a die-hard Stephen King fan from way back, I could appreciate the subtleties of the work and the "hidden meaning" that was attempted to be relayed, but for those that were watching it with me that were not familiar with the author or his work, it was like a bad acid trip.

I was surprised that my guests found the movie to be more of a comedy than anything else. The bulk of it is set in late '60 to '70's and has that sort of feel to it. Unfortunately, if you watch a lot of horror from the '60's & '70's now, you will find in laughable by today's comparison also; this movie met that standard, although I am sure it was not intentional.

Only other reason to watch...if you are a David Arquette fan you get to see him as the "bad" guy for a change.

Only bother if you are a die-hard Stephen King fan, or if it is .50 cents or less to rent. Not a classic by any means!

New Nightmare (1994)

Not worth the price of a rental..even for "Nightmare on Elm Street" fans

[1/10 · 3 May 2005]

Don't even know where to begin on this one...maybe it because I rented this on video and had seen better Freddy like "Freddy Vs. Jason" that have been released since then, but this has to be the worst attempt to ride a sequel that could possibly exist.

Film uses "Nancy" from the original movie portraying herself, Heather Langenkamp being the actress in "Nightmare on Elm Street" 1 & 3 where "Freddy" turns out to be real...and Wes Craven's dreams have been from this evil demon and what has kept him captive is the scripts/story that Wes Craven has done to keep him alive (after "killing" Freddy off in the last movie".

The other "Freddy" movies are good for a Halloweenfest, but this one is not worthy of the itinerary.

Darkness (2002)

Powerhouse cast, good filming, mediocre plot and horrible script

[1/10 · 2 May 2005]

With the powerhouse cast of Lena Olin and Anna Paquin, tremendously talented and diverse actresses, this movie had the potential to be something great; unfortunately, it unfolds into a quite disappointing mêlée' of mediocrity at best.

The cinematography was good and only due to that was the movie even partially scary at some points.

The plot had good potential also; the universal good vs. evil, except evil wins in this story against two young, innocent kids, which is an atrocity, but still could have possibly delivered a terrifying jolt if it had a powerhouse script and sequencing to back it up.

Actors and cinematographers did the best they could with what they had to work with, but it would take a much more talented director and scriptwriter to pull off this dark tale.

Body Bags (1993 TV Movie)

Where else can you find a '60's Super Model, '70's "Blondie", '80's Diva and Bare Buns of "Luke Skywalker"

[7/10 · 23 April 2005]

Although the stories are a little on the campy side, you have to love it for its diversity with the one-time star casting.

Narrator is John Carpenter as sort of mix of a knock-off of the "Tales from the Crypt" sort of character and Barney Fife off of "Mayberry". Not a good or convincing performance, not a good performance, but an interesting character for sake of him being one of the all-time great fiction writers of the 20th century.

Second segment has the balding Stacy Keach yearning for hair and his girlfriend, a major mis-match, '80's Pop Diva, Sheena Easton. You really can't picture her really wanting to wait while he "Takes the Morning Train" or invite him into her "Sugar Walls".

The third segment has '60's supermodel, Twiggy, looking less Twig like, but more healthy that her model hey dey as the loving wife, and Mark Hamill, the beloved Luke Skywalker in the first three (or the last three installments, depending on how you look at the series) as the devoted husband who loses his eye in a car accident and has it replaced with the eye of someone less scrupulous, and ends up carrying on their traits. Bonus for Star Wars fans (the females, anyway) is you briefly get to see Mark Hamill's bare bum! Was worth th .50 cents I paid to rent it for that alone!

Saving Star Wars (2004)

The best independent low-budget movie you will ever see!

[10/10 · 21 April 2005]

I viewed this movie this evening and was amazed at the writing, plot and cinematography of this no-budget film that was made for $50,000 that could rival the most of the big budget movies that have been made.

If you are a Star Wars fan, it is a plus, but it is not necessary to get a feel for the story and its well-developed characters.

Even more impressive is the producer/director, Gary Wood & his wife, had not even studied in the film industry...he only had a desire to make a film and put $50M on the line to fulfill his dream. He did not limit himself to the "box" when writing the film and had the attitude from "Field of Dreams"..."If you build it, they will come".

The no-pay actors were great, as was the directing and script. Kudos the all involved in this effort and highly recommend this movie! Star Wars Veteran, David Prouse, is a plus in this wonderful film!

Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)

And the winner of the "Courtney Love" look-a-like contest is...the Demon!

[5/10 · 12 April 2005]

As the measure of a sequel is its comparison to the original, this one, as expected, falls short. The actor that played Father Merrin is the best part of the entire film; without his strong performance that interests you in the character, you might otherwise not even finish watching the movie, but he captivates you and makes you want to find out what is going to happen next. I would love to see more of this actor in other roles.

The set decorating, cinematography and directing all were adequate; however, the skipping around to create drama to "unfold the mystery" falls short of the target and at times it is confusing.

The second best part of the film is the demon, which has such a striking resembelance to Courtney Love that you except her to break out singing "Doll Parts" after delivering a throaty, potty mouth monologue.

Worth renting on video, but wait until it goes to the $1 a night section at the video store.

Dunston Checks In (1996)

One of my son's favorite movies!

[10/10 · 11 April 2005]

Very unique plot, well acted, well directed and highly recommend! Good film for the entire family! The title and leaders might be deceiving, but what kid (or adult) doesn't love a monkey making a monkey out of snooty adults? Jason Alexander (George from "Seinfeld" being the responsible, single father of two boys and manager of a major hotel is stretch, at least initially due to his stereotype; however, after watching it a half hour you forget that it is "George" and get involved with the other characters.

Another reason to watch is to see Faye Dunaway's amazing post-op face lift and Pee-wee Herman as the "Animal Catcher"? Good, clean fun for the whole family!

The Exorcist (1973)

Makes you pray that there is a God

[10/10 · 11 April 2005]

I first saw this movie when I was 14, only two years older than the "possessee". At the time, I was agnostic; when I left the movie, I was praying there is and was a God.

By today's cinematography standards, the film may seem hoaky and ridiculous, but the plot still and acting is still very well-developed and convincing. I find it even harder now to watch as I am a parent and can relate more now to the role of a parent watching over instead of the "victim" and since the initial screening have not been able to watch it in its entirety, even on "regular" TV where the worst has been edited out.

After becoming a Christian, have learned that possession and the devil are real, which makes this movie all the more frightening. Watch at your own risk!

Wicked (1998)

Great performances and directing, very convincing, but disturbing

[6/10 · 11 April 2005]

I loved Julia Stiles in "10 Things I Hate About You" and picked up this movie at the video store because she was in it. I found the characters in this film well developed and convincing...a little bit overly so. The subject matter and plot were very disturbing, yet engrossing...like watching a car accident.

I found the film very well directed with good cinematography, well acted and hats off to Julia Stiles for pulling in a very convincing performance of a very disturbed teenage girl and the equally disturbed dysfunctional people in her life. The film was very engrossing, but just as equally unsettling. I would prefer to see all of the individuals involved in this project in something a little more uplifting before I could honestly recommend someone seeing this film to show how far they have progressed beyond this madness.

Tank Girl (1995)

Despite hating Lori Petty as an actress..this film is good!

[10/10 · 9 April 2005]

I first saw Lori Petty on an episode of "Miami Vice" and hated her whiney little voice and avoided everything she had since been in like the plague, but accidentally picked up "Tank Girl" and loved her performance in this movie. She delivers "fun, yet authoritative" in a quirky way and it comes off surprisingly effective.

I also loved the young Naomi Watts (The Ring & Ring 2) playing "Jet Girl". If you didn't see the credits, you might not possibly recognize her. She looks great as a brunette!

I also loved Ice-T in his role as one of the Slashers...another one, if you did not see the credits, you might not know it is him. Very convincing.

And who can forget the Cole Porter 1920 number "Let's Do It"? A video worth a look-see if there ever was one!

The Sculptress (2000)

The movie that marked Jeff Fahey's descent from "B" to "C" grade actor

[3/10 · 9 April 2005]

Unfortunately I have to say that this particular movie marked Jeff Fahey's descent from "B" to "C" grade actor. How much lower can you go being a impotent demon being a peeping tom on the young girl next door? And, she is mediocre to boot?

I found it to be a very sad, depressing film with actors of possibility, but not a good plot or dialog to work with. Characters we not well developed, nor believable.

Ending tried to turn a surprise twist when it was totally predictable. Could only recommend if you are a Jeff Fahey fan...sad that he has not been appreciated for the talent he has to be cast in such feeble roles.

Teletubbies: Dance with the Teletubbies (1998 Video)

Why?

[4/10 · 9 April 2005]

The Teletubbies leave me with thousands of questions..like...why do the exist...what the heck are they...why did kids love them so much...did the "PO" doll say what it sounded like he said? When my son was 3 he loved this so much that he wanted to see it every day and since it was a rental, as, God forbid, I would ever want to own a Teletubbies video, I ended up spending $18 in late fees, which is about triple what the darn dancing Teletubbies tape was worth in the first place.

Still wonder how jumping to North, South, East & West is considered a dance, but my son said after seeing me line dance, I should understand.(?)

The Forgotten (2004)

A Movie Only A Mother Could Love?

[7/10 · 9 April 2005]

I loved the movie, but my 11 year old hated it and was quick to point out when the F word was used once in the movie by the main character.

Without totally betraying the plot, I can see where this film is skewed where parents in the audience can relate, particularly, mothers and if you were not a parent would be hard to relate to the central plot.

As for forgotten, what mother cannot forget being pregnant, having the sensation of a dump truck being parked on your bladder with an occasional punt from the alien within? Of giving up caffeine and junk food for 9 months, not to mention the agonizing hours of labor to pop out an adorable little being that will refer to you as "My Old Lady" in 10 years? Forgotten...not possible for a Mom!

Happy Hell Night (1991)

Would love to see this movie spoofed by Mystery Science Theater 3000

[3/10 · 7 April 2005]

This would be an excellent movie for Mystery Science Theater 3000 to do. Predictable plot with lots of gore and a hideous bad guy with good comic relief like spouting "no parking" after killing Jorga Fox in the car.

Only time I would recommend it is if you were having a marathon horror flick on a weekend near Halloween, would be an interesting one to add to the fare for the '90's nostalgic look, the ugly, yet comical, demon and the adequate gory special effects. Only other reason would be if you are a Darrin McGavin or Jorga Fox fan as it displays their attempt to breathe life into cardboard character of the script.