Change Your Image
Archer2525Jonathan
Reviews
I, Robot (2004)
Chockin em out
Felt like a cross between Minority Report, The 6th Day and Bi-centennial man. The expected polished FX are all there, but the storyline doesn't leave much to the imagination.
Finally seeing a "Proper" robot(s) get down to business was my motive for watching, obviously Terminator comes to mind but the scale here was much bigger. Unfortunately the plot didn't really impress me and kinda reminded me of the dreaded AI from Spielberg that everyone hated so much.
Nevertheless its a watchable movie and certainly better than Men In Black. Perhaps if the director had cast a few more seasoned actors like Tommy Lee Jones this film might have inherited a little more drama - still worth renting.
Blade II (2002)
Solid Sequel
Even though the vampire plot has been done and re-done of late(Queen of the Damned/Underworld/Van Helsing/Barley Legal Lesbian Vampires(maybe that one's just me) Blade 2 stands out as one of the classics and Is a credible sequel. The special effects and actions sequences are excellent Although there isn't any real sexual interest with the exception of Leonor Varela who plays the Female Vamp Nyssa. Also in the credits you'll notice Ron Perlman who played Johner in Alien Resurrection. With the expectation of Blade 3(Blade: Trinity), which is in post production and includes jessica beil...its definitely a Trilogy worth adding to your sci-fi collection. Whatever shortcomings this installment might have i think its worth skipping over them given the huge amount of crap thats been released lastly......i think i need only mention the word "Thunderbirds".
Cheerleader Massacre (2003)
Beware the Odourless crap
Thanks to the cover this movie looks good, thanks to the direct it is actually complete rubbish. Slasher fans should stay the hell away from this one, There's no Plot, no talent and I am sorry to say that i've actually seen it. Thank God i rented it online and it only cost me about 50 pence, because if i'd spent any more i might have to go and slash my own wrists, from the sheer depression. I think the Director thought that a few Bimbos on the cover and the word Cheerleader might make a movie, by which rationale i could sell a turd in a box if I only cellotape a picture of Britney Spears on the front. Even for an amateur movie this stinks and forget soft porn, aside from a very short appearance from April Flowers there is nothing worth watching here. Wynorski...get a job.
The Waking (2001)
OMG Not another one
Other than R.G Armstrong(who played "Franks" one of the Druids in Warlock: Armageddon - a cult fantasy movie from 93) you won't recognise a single person in this movie. Don't get me wrong i'm all for new talent but there's just no original appeal to this at all and it had the unfortunate added touch of reminding me of a Jim Wynorski flick, without the "is it or isn't it a porno" confusion of a first time rental victim.
This isn't even a B-Movie its just a collection of Bad actors talking to each other in that annoying "i know there's a camera in the room" way and running around in the woods for no apparent reason. I don't believe i'm going to actually say this but the Director Tim Card could have actually made this movie better if he'd have shaken the camera a few times and done a close up of some girls nose in a tent...Blair witch was better than this and it was crap...Don't rent it, don't even look at it and yes....i'm a harsh critic, but only because so much crap gets released onto DVD/video these days.