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Reviews
The Internship (2013)
Another Good Reason to Uninstall and Dump Everything Google
I was told to watch this film by a friend and after about 10 minutes I realized he used my own gag on me; yes, I have fun recommending awful movies!
My 1st thought prior to watching was that Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn are washed up, everything I've seen in the last five years from them has been mostly garbage, unoriginal and simply not funny but what the heck, give this one a try, wish I hadn't!
Google must have been involved in this film from the 1st scene as it really is just a horribly long commercial that I paid to watch. As others have said, it's an ad and not a funny one.
While I may have a predisposition to not liking a film about how great Google is, because I think they suck, mostly because of anti privacy, low quality products, cocky attitude and hugely successful for God knows what reason, I did not let my attitude towards Google interfere, in fact I almost felt embarrassed for them having their name all over such a bad film. But, in the end, the film matched how I feel about this over glorified company and I feel bad for Wilson and Vaughn being suckered into such a bad script.
Basically, this film suffers for the same reason that too many Hollywood films suffer from today: NO SCRIPT! It's apparent that the dialog was made up on the fly, letting actors craft what they think is funny in a strange, almost insulting and vastly unsatisfying manor. There really is no chemistry between anyone in this film.
The pathetic love story between Wilson and the Aussie, and all the love tales found in this film are not only empty but so bad you can see it in the actors eyes. Few actors are good enough to not reveal, thru their eyes and expressions, their own dissatisfaction with the role they've found themselves in and there are no good actors in this film. Even Will Ferrell's cameo is not funny.
Don't see it, but if you do, don't pay for it! And to those involved in promoting this film giving it high rankings on IMDb, SHAME ON YOU! I can no longer rely on IMDb user ratings as they are no longer unbiased. IMDb should protect us from promoters ruining the reliability of user reviews by adding millions of fake favorable reviews for garbage like The Internship, I don't know how, maybe Google can help...
Chloe (2009)
Cheap porn, flawed story, painfully stupid
There are so many things wrong with this movie it's difficult to know where to begin slamming it.
Right off the bat; the overall cadence is painfully slow with scenes taking too long to complete. The musical score is a boring drone with an occasional series of annoying banging on what sounds like a garbage can, where this movie ultimately belongs. Surround sound edits such as left speaker actress, right speaker actress are sophomoric and ineffective and, also, actually annoying. The scenery of Ontario is that of a small street mall shot on wintery, cloudy days, not much to look at.
Now for the horrible plot: Wife finds photo message from girl thanking hubby for good time when he shoulda been at her surprise b-day party. Logically, wife hires prostitute to test hubbys fidelity. What we know instinctually and right away is that prostitute is crazy and makes it all up but, without any discernible motive, stalks family and ultimately does the wife, the son and then kills herself by falling thru an extremely flimsy window.
Chloe manages at first to convince Dr Stewart, in graphic detail, the sexual escapades her adulterating husband enjoyed which leads the lovely Dr to retain the psycho for yet another job never approaching her husband with what she apparently already knew; he's a cheater, but he isn't really, after all it's Liam Neeson who's never been a bad guy in any of his films, part of his contract I guess.
OK, we're not totally un-entertained, we get to see Amanda Seyfried and Julianne Moore in the buff getting it on. Dr. Stewart thought it would be a good idea to have sex with the prostitute since, after all, she's a gynecologist and can probably tend to the removal of STDs on her own. We also see Amanda Seyfried do the son and climax looking at belongings of his mother; Dr. Gyno, Chloe's real love for some unexplained reason, good gynecology? Who knows? The holes here in logic exercised by an educated overpaid professional are too much to swallow. The lack of motive by Chloe and the interference with her presumed income is also confusing but in the end we get to see the hair clip given to the Dr by the hooker pinned to her smiling head as the movie fades into oblivion, where it needs to stay. I suppose the hair pin could be to blame for the evil that was done as it's apparently a center piece of film, but they just don't clue us into that. Maybe the soft porn scenes consumed all the resources? Don't waste your time on this trash. Unless you're into girl on girl, in which case, look to Moore, she's got a much better body than Amanda Seyfried