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8/10
Great documentary if you can see it.
13 September 2019
I don't think this has ever been officially released.I had the pleasure of seeing an cut of this at Montreal Comiccon in 2012. This film is an interesting look at Tom's life and career. How he went from special effects master, to actor, to teaching the next generation of practical special effects artists. At the time it needed some tweaking but it was still a very interesting look into the life of an icon. That said, there are not really any huge revelations in this doc. A lot of what's said here has been said elsewhere but it was nice to have everything about Tom's career encapsulated in one source.

It's too bad this thing has not been released yet, I recall there being a Kickstarter to finish the film but it's been listed as "coming soon" since 2015. My guess is that securing the rights to movie clips has either been difficult or cost prohibitive. Sadly, without the visual elements it wouldn't be as visually entertaining since as I said, a lot of what's talked about has been said in many other places.

I'm not sure if this is still being screen anywhere either.
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1/10
Only for the totally delusional seeking confirmation bias for their crackpot ideas.
15 June 2018
Delusional "investigative journalist" makes a documentary that would make Werner Herzog roll in his grave with its lack of objectivity and impartiality. It follows some poor dope ("Patient Seventeen") who has been convinced by possibly the worst friends ever that he has an alien implant in his leg. So he does what any sane person does and goes to see a Doctor Roger Leir, who has been suspended from podiatry for performing the same sort of unnecessary surgeries he is about to oversee in this film. Laughably using a stud finder and an ultrasound, he convinces this poor dupe to have the object removed. He then has the object examined under an electron microscope where... spoiler alert... the results are inconclusive. Good thing this documentary was only made for confirmation bias
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Transformers: Armada (2002–2003)
All Tansformers fans are Insane. All of them.
15 February 2007
But that doesn't change the fact that Transformers: Armada is possibly one of the worst series out there.

I've been watching Transformers since the 80's, and I have to say it is the worst of the worst here. I'm not some purist who says G-1 is the best there every will be, because let's be honest here: I've re-watched the original 98 episodes a number of times, and they aren't really all that stellar when you look back on them.

But enough about G-1, if you want to air your praise or grievance about it, then go read the G-1 comments... Let's talk about Transformers: Armada without falling back into a whine fest about why I think G-1 is better (Because in a lot of ways, Generation 1 is just as bad if not worse.) Here are some pitfalls with Armada: 1.) The animation at times is horrible. Just terrible. I think this is probably because the series was rushed into production. The only good animation you see through the course of most of the series is some of the transformation sequences they use as stock footage, although these animation sequences are used less often than some other Transformers series that were made entirely out of Japan.

2.) The voice acting is irritating, almost grating at time. Especially from the human characters.

3.) And speaking of human characters, they are usually the central focus of each episode. I thought this series was about giant robots, not the kids that hang out with them. I know they're trying to give the children picking up this show and watching it some characters they can relate to, but they go over kill.

4.) The Pokémon-esquire collection of the Mini-Cons, as much as a rip off that it is, fails miserably. Mostly because the series doesn't focus overly much on the repetition and constant screen time the Mini-Cons would need to be remembered easily by children, and the whole Mini-Con thing eventually falls on the way side. I can name all the different Autobots and Decepticons in this series, but I can be damned if I can remember who has which Mini-Con.

5.) Some of the plots are pretty weak, but that's true of any children's cartoon.

6.) Lots of talking, little action. Not very exciting. Which wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't like listening to a bunch of grade school kids pretending they're playing Transformers.

Some positive things to say about Armada: 1.) Unicron, if you can't have a Transformers series without a reference to G-1, this should shut your whining loser face for about 30 seconds.

2.) Some episodes are passingly good, like the battle between Scavanger and Hot Shot, or Starscream's defection, the conflict between Hot Shot and Wheeljack, and of course Prime sacrificing his life.

3.) Some episodes have some great animation, it seems only the really important episodes they took the time to draw well.

Armada is a sub-par series, but don't listen to some loser who puts a G-1 DVD on whenever Armada comes on the air and pretends that G-1 plays on Cartoon Network (Dude, you need to get a life), check it out for yourself. Armada isn't TOO awful a series, and it does follow into Energon, which is a lot better (Although still pales in comparison to something of a higher caliber like Beast Wars) But remember, it's a kids show. If you want something a little more adult and you like your Transformers, get the Beast Wars/Beast Machines series (if you aren't an elitist G-1 snob), because it is after all, a kids show.

If you want your Armada a little more adult, then pick up and read the Armada comic book that was being published by Dreamwave (you can probably still pick up the trade paper backs or back issues at your local comic shop at bargain basement prices because Transformers stuff doesn't sell for crap like it used to.)
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Destruction Kings (2005 Video)
10/10
Great Movie
23 July 2006
This movie is a lot of fun, and those of you who were sadly disappointed, like the guy who's review graced the top of the review list heres a little catch 22 that perhaps skimmed over your head when you were about to watch the movie: The name of the film company that makes the movie is called: Low Budget Pictures Think about that for a moment. So why are you acting all outraged or upset about the film? It was made with no intention of being "Good" by your high standards at all.

If you should be mad at anyone you should be mad at yourself for having your head way up your... Well anyway, Destruction Kings is a great fun movie, if you like cinematic junk food.

Chris Seaver makes a special kind of movie, and honestly, if you can't walk the walk, don't talk the talk, the guy does manage to get his films released, want to give it a try yourself my young bard?
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Filthy McNasty (2001 Video)
10/10
Poetry Lessons from the Master
10 March 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Filthy McNasty is a great film, because it is indeed pointless and stupid and doesn't really go anywhere. Chris Seaver is truly a unique film maker in that he can toss out something so wacky, rediculious and low budget and make it entertaining to watch.

I personally thought that Teenape's poem to one of the girls was exceedingly hilarious. Not that I find abuse towards women hilarious, the fact that Teenape is reading this awful, awful, demeaning poem to this girl and she thinks it's the sweetest thing in the world. NOW THAT'S THE FUNNY. I mean in real life she probably would have ripped him a new one.

Also, I'd like to point out that this is one of Chris' earlier films, his later ones are much much better in terms of quality, plot, and acting (not to say this movie is bad, I did just give it a 10.) So watch it again, and keep an open mind about it for a chaunch.
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One of the most innovative Transformers series ever.
21 March 2005
Warning: Spoilers
A lot of people hate Beast Machines because of the sudden change from Beast Wars, and it took a further step back from the Robots transforming into cars of the original G-1. In fact it seemed to denounce the mechanical and embrace the organic.

What the heck was wrong with trying something different? Breaking out of the box and doing something right out of left field? Do a Transformers series the likes of which nobody has ever seen before? I'm as nostalgic as the next Transfan, but let me tell you this much: Generation 1 *never* was this great, in terms of animation quality, the zen-philosophy and socio-political struggle and the like. Beast Machines wasn't just about two camps of robots one good one evil. If someone actually stopped and looked at the two camps struggle.

The Maximals: Optimus Primal wanted to reformat Cybertron to become an organic planet once more. Pretty harsh idea indeed when you were born of a race of entirely mechanical beings, and you have to wonder how five or six characters would change the fate of the entire planet and create a drastic change it would create on the people of the planet and taking away their choice in the matter.

The Vehicons: If you look at Megatron's campaign, it was keeping Cybertron as is where things where so mechanically perfect that the end result was a loss of character and identity (I like to think that a lot of Transfans are kind of like Megatron in that way, wanting the same old "perfection" of Generation 1) The ending to Beast Machines wasn't a disappointment for me, because what was realized at the end (at least by Primal) was that the world of Cybertron wasn't destined to be either all mechanical or all organic, but a balance between the two.

And THAT for an end to a storyline is much better than anything that was cooked up in the Generation 1 days (Hello anyone ever watch "The ReBirth"? Yeah I thought so.) Comparably, Generation 1 had goofy plots that were very unbelievable, had sugar coated conflicts that were black and white no shades of grey.

Beast Wars was a great action orientated series, and a great bit of brilliant continuity work.

Where Beast Machines itself stands as a great series is that it wasn't just mindless action and adventure, it also took a look at the sociological aspects of war, and the ideologies of the people who go to war for what they believe in. A hallmark series if there was one, and I guarantee you won't see another Transformers series like this one in a long time.

These days, the franchise caters to a younger audience and tries to become part of the Anime boom. Robots in Disguise, Armada, and Energon do get back to basics, but let's face it, it gets too far back to basics creating plots that appeal to an audience that was the age we were when Transformers first came on the air, only this time around we can't relate to it as well as we used too.

And a little defense on Rattrap's "Wheelchair": It was a brilliant move on the writers part. You know why? Because Rattrap was always the resourceful one who had all the gadgets and weapons to get through a mission, now he found himself in a very limited one. THAT was his character development, he went through the trials of being able to Transform and found himself trapped in a body with tools he that were totally different than what he was used too.

This was a great series
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1/10
The Action is.... Where?
5 March 2005
Hell On Wheels is a movie that combines the early days of NASCAR racing, moonshine, and country western music. You know that you are in for a treat!

The film stars Marty Robbinson, who plays himself, and the film is essentially a show boat for his racing ability and musical talent.

They try to make things interesting by including a plot about his jealous brother doing work for some moonshiners who fund his own racer so he can beat his brother.

And his other brother is a member of the US Tobacco and Alcohol Tax Division, who helps shut down stilleries.

Essentially, the movie in itself, loses it's flow with all the long and drawn out racing scenes with little interest, really bad country music, and it drives home Uncle Sams propaganda machine by reputedly stating that "Remember: Moonshine Kills"

It's a lousy movie, but it has it's camp value, and definitely worth watching with a bunch of friends for the lone purpose of having a good laugh.

THINGS TO WATCH OUT FOR: Here are some things I found infinitely amusing about the film: 1.) Watch out in the second big racing scene, there is a cowboy in a red shirt and black hat. Very funny to watch.

2.) The little girl at the end, as Marty sings to her, she picks her nose right on camera.
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I'm probably am going to rehash a lot of what was said in other reviews....
2 February 2005
Warning: Spoilers
... But I'm going to say my own bit here. Obviously, if your a typical horror movie junkie, and your looking for cheap bargains at your local video conglomerate, and you see a movie called "Vampires VS Zombies" of course your going to stop and go "HEY COOL!" and simply dismiss the fact that they obviously got the idea for the video box from "Freddy VS Jason".

Okay, so what exactly is wrong with this movie? (Other than very low production values): 1.) Well not a single zombie fights a single vampire. 2.) The plot holes are big enough to fit tour bus through 3.) Very....Long....Scenes....

On the positive side of things I learned some valuable lessons from this film: 1.) Zombie holocaust or not, people treat these zombies like they treat the homeless population: Down right ignoring them, unless they are in the road, then you run them down. 2.) Never stop to light a cigar when your in the middle of a fight with a vampire. 3.) Slowing down the films video and audio for to make an excruciatingly slow pan shot of a female character even more slow is only annoying and makes everyone laugh when the character says something, which totally destroyed whatever kind of mood you were trying to set. 4.) A hedge trimmer is no substitute for a chainsaw or a lawn mower when it comes to zombie killing. 5.) I don't think they stayed very true to the story "Carmilla" by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu (Try to say that name three times fast.)
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Soultaker (1990)
So let me get this straight.....
23 August 2004
... Someone has a near death experience in a car crash and decides they want to make a movie about it? Uh... You were in a car crash... You know I'd go on about how powerful and touching the fight for your life was but you know I think I'm going to care about a true story about a cancer patient surviving their illness or a true story about someone who survived a terrorist attack.

It may sound a little heartless for me to say this but what sort of character would you care more about?:

A.) The posh rich girl who gets into her lovers friends car (who is a coke addict) and crashes them into a tree and almost killing them and her struggle to get her soul back in her body while being chase by goofy super-natural villains (one of which is Joe Estivez)

or

B.) The heart breaking tale of a single mother living on the edge of poverty who is struck down by a severe case of cancer and struggles through all the physical and emotional pain involved in recovering?

If you choose A, then you are just the sugar coated movie watcher who enjoys movies with no substance. This is a frew-frew romp of the afterlife. Not to mention it's a pathetic sympathy parade made by the writer/actress as an attention grabber that's been jazzed up by some of the most ridiculous ideas I've ever seen in a movie made post 1979.

If you've survived a car crash, write a book or appear on Opera... Not a movie...

Again for those of you readers who like to watch anything with substance, Soultaker is not the movie to watch. Because it is made by a premadonna braggart, who is more boast than talent.

And that's my review.

(And also note, that I did not once mention MST3K in the course of my writing, as I have seen both versions of the film.. And let me tell you the "uncut" version does not keep this shipwreck afloat.)
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