The drawn out opening titles, the bad sound mixing, awful and outdated scene transitions, everything you'd expect from a no-budget student film on YouTube... not something with Morgan Freeman and co. It's uncomfortably cheap and very hard to watch.
Reviews
12 Reviews
Cosmic Sin
(2021)
Worst Movie I've ever seen
21 July 2021
I'm being completely honest, the worst I've ever seen! I've seen short films on YouTube with better quality, story, and acting than this. Even the aliens were cheap like an episode of Doctor Who from the 1970s! Why Bruce? Why?
Bad Company
(II) (2018)
Needs a Re-Edit to fix some flaws - here's how:
12 August 2020
Warning: Spoilers
I don't want to trash this movie like the other reviews, but I genuinely think if someone gave it a shot at re-editing this movie it could fix a lot, here's how I'd do it:
It's little things like that that make this film seem amatuer and it could all be fixed quite easily, but it makes me wonder why it wasn't fixed before release, my guess is because of a low budget the director wasn't always able to shoot a lot of coverage of scenes and then was left to edit together scenes and sequences that don't quite flow or make sense.
Little nit pick: the two brothers are both shot in the stomach and die instantly but the girl shot in the centre of her chest lives.
I really really liked the homage to Buster Keaton with the falling wall stunt that Booboo pulled off. That was a great addition!
- Open with Booboo's flashback to show how he got in trouble, let us know he's the main character and why we should be rooting for him.
- Something is off with the audio during the scene in the creek at night, the cinematography in this scene looks great, but the broken audio is really distracting and needed either cleaning up or re-recording.
- The gun sounds don't sound great either, they could do with some meatiness adding to them, make them sound powerful and make them echo and reverb.
- The VFX isn't exactly up to 2018 standards, I know VFX is expensive but there's definitely better stuff to use for more convincing explosions (main point being the helicopter crashing into the turbine).
- It would've been nice for the terrorists to have dialogue, rather than just being silent, faceless, unmotivated goons. If Nils Allen Stewart (his name misspelled in the credits by the way) was their leader it would have been nice to see and hear him giving orders to his men and adding tension and drama to the climax.
- There's lots of teleporting going on. Booboo is with Chombo at the farm and then they're suddenly helping the girl out of the river without showing how they got there or why the other kids didn't try and save her. The girl initially falling into the river was a little unclear, same as when she and Mack were suddenly wading through a creek looking for the blonde girl, this could be fixed with editing providing there's footage to insert.
It's little things like that that make this film seem amatuer and it could all be fixed quite easily, but it makes me wonder why it wasn't fixed before release, my guess is because of a low budget the director wasn't always able to shoot a lot of coverage of scenes and then was left to edit together scenes and sequences that don't quite flow or make sense.
Little nit pick: the two brothers are both shot in the stomach and die instantly but the girl shot in the centre of her chest lives.
I really really liked the homage to Buster Keaton with the falling wall stunt that Booboo pulled off. That was a great addition!
Extinction
(2014)
Who are they fooling with that fake crocodile?
9 August 2020
Warning: Spoilers
I should have turned this off when they spotted a supposed crocodile in a river and the following close-up gives away any illusion that it could have been alive.
I will give the filmmakers props for having the balls to try and pull this off, but it just made it look cheap: the dino puppets as nice as it was to see practical effects instead of CGI, still moved like puppets with no weight or life to them. The exotic pet store animals were a nice touch but a little too on the nose, and it seems no one was fooled into thinking this production ever once stepped foot in Peru.
I was confused by the first dinosaur encounter, when it enters their camp at night, because it seemed as though Michelle and James were the only ones to wake up and notice? The next morning it seemed the others had no clue.
The morning after the final dinosaur attack James and Michelle film the dino eating one of the crew from up on some rocks, it's daylight and we see the dinosaur in full view. In the next scene they reunite with the Professor and he asks what they saw and James says it was too dark (implying only what they saw during the night attack) and they didn't get a good enough look, but yet we just saw it in broad daylight a second ago. And why was James dressed like he'd just been playing footy with his mates and not like he was an experienced documentary filmmaker in the jungles of Peru?
As for the acting, it seemed in parts as though there wasn't a script to follow and more so just story beats the actors had to hit, you can tell when an actor is thinking up their next line when they leave big gaps or repeat themselves a lot.
The ending was typical of found-footage movie.
Could've also been a shorter runtime.
I will give the filmmakers props for having the balls to try and pull this off, but it just made it look cheap: the dino puppets as nice as it was to see practical effects instead of CGI, still moved like puppets with no weight or life to them. The exotic pet store animals were a nice touch but a little too on the nose, and it seems no one was fooled into thinking this production ever once stepped foot in Peru.
I was confused by the first dinosaur encounter, when it enters their camp at night, because it seemed as though Michelle and James were the only ones to wake up and notice? The next morning it seemed the others had no clue.
The morning after the final dinosaur attack James and Michelle film the dino eating one of the crew from up on some rocks, it's daylight and we see the dinosaur in full view. In the next scene they reunite with the Professor and he asks what they saw and James says it was too dark (implying only what they saw during the night attack) and they didn't get a good enough look, but yet we just saw it in broad daylight a second ago. And why was James dressed like he'd just been playing footy with his mates and not like he was an experienced documentary filmmaker in the jungles of Peru?
As for the acting, it seemed in parts as though there wasn't a script to follow and more so just story beats the actors had to hit, you can tell when an actor is thinking up their next line when they leave big gaps or repeat themselves a lot.
The ending was typical of found-footage movie.
Could've also been a shorter runtime.
The Man in the High Castle
(2015– )
Incredible Character Driven Show
29 January 2020
For having only 4 seasons I must give this show merit for building and examining some incredible characters, in story and in casting they are one of the main reasons to stay hooked to this show.
Unfortunately the final season suffered from rushed plots and a messy finale, but over-all the show was a great underrated gem!
Unfortunately the final season suffered from rushed plots and a messy finale, but over-all the show was a great underrated gem!
Dull and Repetitive
26 January 2020
Warning: Spoilers
The fight scenes really suffered in this movie, not sure if they changed crew or they just ran out of ideas but every fight seemed to involve a roll and a double-tap to finish them off (seriously if someone could count how many times someone does a roll in this movie).
Plot was boring.
It was weird seeing a man in a suit walk through the desert.
Most fight scenes lasted way too long without progressing the story.
Villain didn't really makes sense, she was a higher-up, but then John goes to the Elder? the most highest? and is given a pass? I don't know, the lore needs explaining more, there's a scene in Grand Central Station where some bad guys are killed right in front of civilians and no one bats and eyelid, is this something in the lore i missed?
Absolutely no idea what Jerome Flynn's accent was meant to be! vaguely Eastern European??
Sequel bait at the end was cringeworthy.
The dogs were cool though!
Plot was boring.
It was weird seeing a man in a suit walk through the desert.
Most fight scenes lasted way too long without progressing the story.
Villain didn't really makes sense, she was a higher-up, but then John goes to the Elder? the most highest? and is given a pass? I don't know, the lore needs explaining more, there's a scene in Grand Central Station where some bad guys are killed right in front of civilians and no one bats and eyelid, is this something in the lore i missed?
Absolutely no idea what Jerome Flynn's accent was meant to be! vaguely Eastern European??
Sequel bait at the end was cringeworthy.
The dogs were cool though!
Titans
(I) (2018– )
Beautiful Cinematography but Janky CGI - Season 2 Review
11 January 2020
Warning: Spoilers
An improvement on the first season, I appreciate that they retconned Trigon within the first episode, I couldn't imagine the Titans facing off against a CGI demon for a whole season and glad they replaced the antagonist with Deathstroke.
I liked what they did with Deathstroke, they made him somewhat empathetic about half-way through the season when it becomes clear that actually the Titans could be the villains, sadly after that Deathstroke doesn't really progress as a character he just remains stagnant and one dimensional, he never feels like a looming threat or that the Titans are ever in constant danger. They all go off and do their own side quests and everyone seems to forget the world's greatest assassin was after them.
Unfortunately the show has not improved its CGI since the first season and the tiger still looks really bad and Trigon looked away but his movement wasn't amazing. I can understand that it's a TV budget, The Walking Dead's tiger looked the same, but it just doesn't have any weight to it, especially in the fight with Conner it looked really bad.
And Donna's death was just ridiculous to me. It was so sudden and rushed and made no sense. You're telling me Conner, who is so fast he can catch a bullet, couldn't help? And that the Amazonian is electrocuted to death in seconds? Sure, if they're setting up a plot in S3 with Raven, but in that moment it didn't make any sense for Donna to die like that. If anyone it should've been Hank, a redemption arc for him, saving Dove at the same time.
On the plus side, the cinematography of this show is outstanding. It's got a Hollywood feel to it, making it stand out from all the other DC shows that still have that TV look to them. As well as the cinematography, the acting this season was fantastic, especially from Curran Walters playing Jason Todd, he had a lot of emotional and dramatic scenes to chew through this season and really hit the mark with them!
Maybe for the next season they could consider using a tiger head puppet for close ups, give the actors something psychical to interact with and only use the full body shots when absolutely necessary. They really fleshed out Kory a lot more this season so I'm looking forward to what they'll do with the Blackfire storyline.
I liked what they did with Deathstroke, they made him somewhat empathetic about half-way through the season when it becomes clear that actually the Titans could be the villains, sadly after that Deathstroke doesn't really progress as a character he just remains stagnant and one dimensional, he never feels like a looming threat or that the Titans are ever in constant danger. They all go off and do their own side quests and everyone seems to forget the world's greatest assassin was after them.
Unfortunately the show has not improved its CGI since the first season and the tiger still looks really bad and Trigon looked away but his movement wasn't amazing. I can understand that it's a TV budget, The Walking Dead's tiger looked the same, but it just doesn't have any weight to it, especially in the fight with Conner it looked really bad.
And Donna's death was just ridiculous to me. It was so sudden and rushed and made no sense. You're telling me Conner, who is so fast he can catch a bullet, couldn't help? And that the Amazonian is electrocuted to death in seconds? Sure, if they're setting up a plot in S3 with Raven, but in that moment it didn't make any sense for Donna to die like that. If anyone it should've been Hank, a redemption arc for him, saving Dove at the same time.
On the plus side, the cinematography of this show is outstanding. It's got a Hollywood feel to it, making it stand out from all the other DC shows that still have that TV look to them. As well as the cinematography, the acting this season was fantastic, especially from Curran Walters playing Jason Todd, he had a lot of emotional and dramatic scenes to chew through this season and really hit the mark with them!
Maybe for the next season they could consider using a tiger head puppet for close ups, give the actors something psychical to interact with and only use the full body shots when absolutely necessary. They really fleshed out Kory a lot more this season so I'm looking forward to what they'll do with the Blackfire storyline.
6 Underground
(2019)
Nonsensical Madness
1 January 2020
Like many other reviews for this movie say, the editing is without a doubt its biggest flaw, truly terrible and erratic cuts. But the film also suffers from mind numbing continuity errors and a muddled story that doesn't quite know what direction it's heading in. It's hard to believe so many errors can be found in such a big budget movie, makes you wonder if it was done on purpose to get people talking...
Deadly Detention
(2017)
Insultingly bad.
26 August 2019
Warning: Spoilers
This is without a doubt the worst movie I have ever seen. Don't be intrigued by these bad reviews, just believe them all, it's unwatchable.
Categorized as a comedy horror it is neither, only a painfully awful attempt at humour and an abysmal attempt at horror. All deaths are offscreen, most don't even show the bodies never mind the violence and it's such a long drag until anything remotely violent even happens, you could begin to forget what type of movie you're meant to be watching. The characters are one dimensional and the film struggles to decide which is the lead, choosing to switch its 'final girl' at the last minute which adds to many of the blatant plot holes.
The writing, however, is the worst crime here, truly terrible. It's as though the writers have no experience of foreshadowing , pacing, or exposition. Nearly every review on here mentions the killer is revealed in the first minute of the film which is just insulting to the audience, at least try and throw us off! And the killer is just a dude in a BLACK HOODIE carrying a pointed stick? Students are making better films than this on YouTube!
An apparent twist at the end is that the final girl has a locket belonging to the killer's daughter, but at no point was this ever shown before. The skater girl carries her skateboard the entire time as if there might be a pay-off for it and she'll get to use it against the killer... nope. The skater girl randomly stops the group to inform them they're in a haunted prison because she read about it, but this information comes too late in the plot. This should've been exposition given to us on the bus ride in. The friendly, caring, bible carrying character decides to ditch Jessica only minutes after giving her a pep-talk about escaping, this decision is so out of character I can only imagine came down to the writers needing a reason for the characters to split up so one could be killed but couldn't think of a reason and so f-it, he can just ditch his friend and walk down a pitch-black hallway. Jessica gets a dozen scenes where she's shown as a leader, she's getting the most dialogue, she's the most likeable character, she's even in the cold-open... nah, she's not the final girl.
And lets not even talk about the ending...
Categorized as a comedy horror it is neither, only a painfully awful attempt at humour and an abysmal attempt at horror. All deaths are offscreen, most don't even show the bodies never mind the violence and it's such a long drag until anything remotely violent even happens, you could begin to forget what type of movie you're meant to be watching. The characters are one dimensional and the film struggles to decide which is the lead, choosing to switch its 'final girl' at the last minute which adds to many of the blatant plot holes.
The writing, however, is the worst crime here, truly terrible. It's as though the writers have no experience of foreshadowing , pacing, or exposition. Nearly every review on here mentions the killer is revealed in the first minute of the film which is just insulting to the audience, at least try and throw us off! And the killer is just a dude in a BLACK HOODIE carrying a pointed stick? Students are making better films than this on YouTube!
An apparent twist at the end is that the final girl has a locket belonging to the killer's daughter, but at no point was this ever shown before. The skater girl carries her skateboard the entire time as if there might be a pay-off for it and she'll get to use it against the killer... nope. The skater girl randomly stops the group to inform them they're in a haunted prison because she read about it, but this information comes too late in the plot. This should've been exposition given to us on the bus ride in. The friendly, caring, bible carrying character decides to ditch Jessica only minutes after giving her a pep-talk about escaping, this decision is so out of character I can only imagine came down to the writers needing a reason for the characters to split up so one could be killed but couldn't think of a reason and so f-it, he can just ditch his friend and walk down a pitch-black hallway. Jessica gets a dozen scenes where she's shown as a leader, she's getting the most dialogue, she's the most likeable character, she's even in the cold-open... nah, she's not the final girl.
And lets not even talk about the ending...
How to destroy your childhood
4 July 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Like most, Jurassic Park was a childhood movie and with that comes great memories, feelings and nostalgia when rewatching the first film - the music, the characters, the non CGI dinosaurs, and of course, the park itself. In a sense, the Park is a character - you know it's story, it's history, even it's layout and how it runs. That's what was refreshing about Jurassic World, we finally got to return to the original island and reminisce.
Then along comes Fallen Kingdom and literally blows up your childhood. Dead. Gone. Destroyed.
That was my biggest issue with Fallen Kingdom, I was also a little pissed that Goldblum was only in the movie for 1 minute!
But something else about the plot also wasn't right... there's 2 islands, everyone knows this because The Lost World and Jurassic Park 3 were set there... so why a frantic rescue mission to save what seemed like 10 dinosaurs to take back to the main land when they could've shipped them the short distance to the second island which we know from the previous movies is already a bustling habitat full of free roaming dinos? This movie was definitely the weakest in the entire franchise.
Then along comes Fallen Kingdom and literally blows up your childhood. Dead. Gone. Destroyed.
That was my biggest issue with Fallen Kingdom, I was also a little pissed that Goldblum was only in the movie for 1 minute!
But something else about the plot also wasn't right... there's 2 islands, everyone knows this because The Lost World and Jurassic Park 3 were set there... so why a frantic rescue mission to save what seemed like 10 dinosaurs to take back to the main land when they could've shipped them the short distance to the second island which we know from the previous movies is already a bustling habitat full of free roaming dinos? This movie was definitely the weakest in the entire franchise.
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