Humdinger69 Reviews

I-Be Area (2007 Video)

The Most Painful Viewing Experience I've Ever Had

[1/10 · 8 January 2019]

So it's finally happened. I've rated well over a thousand movies and this is the first '1' ever ever given, no joke. I love entertainingly bad movies, I love insane movies, and I tend to find some form of value in even to most horrid pieces of cinema. I don't believe many films are completely worthless. So when I say that this is a horrid abomination devoid of any artistic value whatsoever, I do not take this statement lightly. It isn't every day I find a piece of work I hate with every fiber of my being like I do this wretched bile.

There's a very vague mockery of a plot that somehow involves adoption, clones and body switching but I'm at a loss to explain what really happens and I stopped putting in the effort to pay attention around half-way in. At which point I started regularly checking the clock, then subsequently beating myself in the head as what felt like 20 minutes passed turned out to be around 7. They managed to stretch this nonsense to almost TWO HOURS and it feels like at least triple that.

The actual movie (and I'm stretching when I call it that) is simply a very colorful ensemble of the most obnoxious non-characters you've ever seen spouting an endless stream of meaningless words arranged in a way that vaguely resembles dialogue in irritating high-pitched voices, jumping around the room, dancing, throwing things, and generally being obnoxious. It's like the director just found a bunch of bored art school students and said "Hey! Wanna be in a movie? All you have to do is smear a bunch of paint on your face and act as retarded as possible in front of the camera. You in?".

Randomness can be very entertaining if done the right way. I'm a big fan of shows like Chowder, Tim & Eric and The Eric Andre Show. I love Everything Is Terrible. I like Aqua Teen as much as the next guy. This is a textbook example of randomness done horribly wrong to the point where it physically hurts to watch.

In short, this is not surrealism, this isn't a "mindfrik" (edited for IMDB acceptability), it's not interesting, it's not funny, it's not bad in an entertaining way. This is nothing but a cinematic endurance test. Shaye & Kiki mind as well be on downers when compared to this lunacy. If it wasn't for my stubborn insistence on finishing every movie I watch, I would have turned this off about 30 minutes in. But I felt I had a duty. A duty to power through and give this a proper review in order to warn unsuspecting fans of the bizarre not to be suckered in by the ludicrously high IMDb rating. You have been warned.

Sharkenstein (2016)

Jaws, eat your heart out.

[7/10 · 18 November 2018]

The remaining Polonia brother knocks it out of the park and delivers some of the most frightening shark attack scenes ever committed to film.

The special effects are really something to behold, never has your child's toy shark you tried to stitch back together after the dog got a hold of it looked so menacing. The writing is still as sharp as ever, with intelligent, witty banter on par with the great Quentin Tarantino delivered with astonishing conviction by lovable characters you will certainly not forget instantly once the movie's over.

The villain of the movie, a Nazi carrying on the inhumane experiments of his forefathers, is acted using the tried and true formula:

Replacing "W" with "V" every once in a while = German accent

The man exudes so much pure, unadulterated evil that I dare anyone not to get cold sweats whenever he appears on screen.

Even with all this said, I assure you, nothing will prepare you for the film's third act, a harrowing dive into complete insanity.

All I can really say after experiencing this movie is thank you, Mark Polonia. Thank you for making movies, thank you for being alive, thank you for sharing this masterpiece with the world. It seems like only yesterday he put Jurassic Park in its place with his classic Saurians. Now with Sharkenstein, he's rendered another critically-acclaimed piece of celluloid completely obsolete. Sorry Jaws.

Aftershock (2012)

Not Very Shocking, But Not A Disaster Either

[5/10 · 13 November 2018]

The movie starts with the setup we've all seen a billion times before: Some guys. Are annoying. Horny. Some girls. Are annoying. Horny. Have party. Drink. Try to sex. Good times. Then suddenly... an earthquake!

The tone shifts drastically and the world around them goes to hell in a hand-basket real quick. Decimated architecture, riots in the streets, prisoners escaping, warnings of an incoming tsunami, every man for himself, and no one is safe. Anyone can meet their untimely end when you least expect it, just like a real life disaster.

This may sound like an intense and nihilistic experience, but beneath the surface, the film sticks to the usual horror movie rules and holds back too much to be a truly effective shocker. In other words, it feels too "Hollywoodized". There's also a dumb twist towards the end. Even still, there's just enough carnage here to satisfy undemanding lovers of cinematic slime. A natural disaster movie that puts most of it's focus on animalistic human behavior rather than the flashy special effects could, and should, have been a lot better.

666 (Beware the End Is at Hand) (2007 Video)

"Praise Jesus today because tomorrow may be too late!"

[9/10 · 21 October 2018]

Top-tier Nigerian B-movie directed by a pastor with highlights that include the gory removal of a fetus from a pregnant woman, a prostitute paid to lick a nasty scab, a devil baby with horns, gay rape and much more. All with typically shoddy Nollywood FX, hilariously energetic acting and heavy-handed religious propaganda.

The best characters in the movie are a priest who enthusiastically spreads the word of god on the street in lengthy sequences, and a devil child (the horned baby eight years later) who crawls through the ground and terrorizes random civilians.

If you love terrible movies you must watch this at least once. The second part is worth a watch as well and features several scenes that easily outdo this chapter in terms of sheer insanity. Unfortunately, it features too many boring sermons and prayer scenes, and a new pastor who lacks the entertaining energy of the previous. Watching relatively normal sermons isn't as funny as watching a priest yell about God in a bar and bothering all the customers. Shame.

This one however gets my full recommendation.

All Through the House (2015)

Poor Slasher With Disappointing Gore

[2/10 · 14 October 2018]

Hailed as a throwback to old-school slashers but in reality this is an incredibly poor movie with very little going for it.

While I did guess the identity of the killer before the film even reached the halfway mark, there is another twist towards the end involving the killers mother that is indeed quite twisted. The Santa costume is also quite good, and there are a couple of decent gore scenes. That's it for the positives.

Most of the gore, while plentiful, just isn't very entertaining and the killers weapon of choice (a pair of hedge clippers) isn't utilized to its full potential.

Furthermore, the acting is wooden, with few exceptions, and the majority of the characters are obnoxious teenagers who make some of the dumbest decisions you've ever seen. There's also a pointless shower scene with no nudity, and the movie completely ignores a golden opportunity for a lesbian scene. I felt cheated.

In short, a failure that obviously doesn't know its audience very well, not that I'm the biggest slasher fan to begin with. For desperate gorehounds only.

Killer Rats (2003)

A Highly Unsatisfying B-Movie

[3/10 · 10 October 2018]

A reporter goes undercover in a mental hospital where locking the doors is a foreign concept, and finds the place overrun with... KILLER RATS! As well as a crazy janitor who speaks to them.

I would have preferred more real rats and models than the pathetic CGI that was on display for most of the movie, more gore would have been nice too. Ron Perlman is here, but sadly not very much.

Nothing to see here.

Atrocious (2015)

An Extreme(ly Dumb) Movie

[4/10 · 8 October 2018]

I've got a lot to talk about, but I'll try to keep this as spoiler-free as possible.

You ever seen a movie that's just so eager to shock and repulse that it goes so over-the-top to the point of being unintentionally comedic in it's childishly single-minded nature? We need a new label for this type of stuff. We've all heard of so-bad-it's-good, how 'bout so-extreme-it's-funny? This is one of those movies that, as a whole, could've been very entertaining as extreme over-the-top trash if it wasn't so g*dd*mn stupid, or at least didn't take itself so seriously. Nothing worse than exploitation trash that shoots above its head.

The movie tells the story of two sadistic killers who are caught by police after they get into a car accident, killing a pedestrian. The police commander finds one of their video tapes with reveals the torture and murder of a transvestite prostitute, prompting further investigation (aka police torturing the killers for information... right) and the discovery of more tapes. The story of the killers unfolds through three confiscated videotapes with the police interrogation as the wraparound.

The first tape featuring the aforementioned murder of the transvestite is unusually nasty but mostly dull torture porn. Same for the second tape which shows the murder of another random girl during an aberrant sex scene and then some nasty things are done to her corpse. But it also raises some more questions about the killers motives which are promised to be answered in the third tape, a VHS showing the killers extremely abusive childhood.

In reality, it explains nothing at all about the motives of the first or second murder, actually causing even more confusion. However, this is the segment that, at first, comes the closest to being legitimately disturbing. This goes right out the window later on, when it shows two scenes so ridiculously over-the-top in their attempts to sicken (that come directly after each other no less) that I immediately bust out laughing (something's wrong with me).

As with most found-footage films, there is no adequate explanation provided for why anybody keeps recording during all of this.

Then back to the police station, there is a twist that still explains nothing, and ANOTHER twist that makes zero sense.

So the only reason this gets points is for it's entertainingly childish shock tactics. But one can't help thinking how this could've been a truly grueling experience if placed in the right hands, or something akin to a more extreme Troma if they went the other route.

Feeders 2: Slay Bells (1998 Video)

The Editor Could've Slayed About 1/3 of The Movie

[6/10 · 5 October 2018]

Inferior to the first offering but still a moderately entertaining SOV flick while its on. The deaths aren't as funny (though I doubt anything could top the originals iconic hospital scene), the aliens don't seem to do as much in general, and there are too many dragged-out scenes where we are shown a whole bunch of nothing. But just when you think the movie's about to derail into complete boredom, it always redeems itself with a nice alien shot, some amusing acting and dialogue, or some other entertaining stupidity.

The pint-sized aliens essentially have sticks for appendages, and their hands are stubs, yet somehow they are still able to twist doorknobs and drag a full-grown man across the floor. As with the first movie, the growling sound does start to get a bit grating after the 100th time it's used.

All the SOV staples are still there: horrible acting, horrible dialogue, horrible CGI, horrible gore, paper mache creature FX and random flatulence. The entertainment is also still there, it's just not on the level of the first. So, in short, decent but disappointing.

Dog Bite Dog (2006)

One Of The Most Brutal and Nihilistic Movies I've Seen In A Long Time

[9/10 · 4 October 2018]

Plenty of other users have gone in-depth about this movie already so I'll keep it short. Suffice to say this is an extremely gripping film. The entire movie is a pulse-pounding game of cat-and-mouse between two equally reprehensible people. Somewhere along the way a mentally-challenged girl gets involved. and some dramatic details are revealed about the protagonists, leading to some heartbreaking moments.

Featuring riveting performances, an unpredictable plot development, and, of coarse, a heaping helping of raw, nihilistic brutality. This is a world where police officers will take an innocent girl hostage (or worse) to get a killer to surrender.

Some suspension of disbelief is required and some questions are left unanswered in the end. But make no mistake, this is a riveting, if extremely over-the-top, piece of cinema.

The Exterminator (1980)

Vigilante Tale That's Niether Here Nor There.

[5/10 · 3 October 2018]

This is another one of those movies that's neither here nor there when it comes to tone. On one hand, it seems to want to be a serious vigilante/revenge flick a la Death Wish, but it also wants to be an exploitative grindhouse shocker. As a result, it's too sleazy and ridiculous to be taken as a serious movie, but it's not sleazy enough to be entertaining as full on exploitation. The most graphic this movie ever gets is during the Vietnam flashback at the beginning.

Also worth mentioning, the first few scenes after the friend's murder are jarringly rushed. So first there's the scene where the friend is killed, then immediately afterwards it cuts to the Exterminator with the friend's wife at the park telling her he died, then it cuts to a goon tied up and the Exterminator threatening him with a blowtorch. So the problem isn't the pacing of the scenes themselves, it's more like there were a couple extra scenes that went missing post-production. Oh, and that gnarly-ass flamethrower on the cover... forget about it. The scene with the tied-up goon mentioned earlier is the only time you'll see it, and it's only used to threaten.

Jigoku kozô (2004)

"I Don't Know Why He Became A Monster, But The Police Will Not Let You Get Away With This!"

[6/10 · 2 October 2018]

A doctor tragically loses her son in a car accident (quite graphically). A random old woman appears telling the mother she can bring her son back if she kills a boy the same age with a special tusk. She does so (again, quite graphically) and her son returns, but not as the boy he once was, but as a hideous monster who craves human flesh. She keeps him locked up in a cage and tries to find a way to heal him but he escapes and starts slaughtering anyone in his path. It's not long before a detective with a huge nose and violently loud sneezes is hot on their trail.

It's makes even less sense than it sounds like believe it or not, but by gawd is it entertaining. The charmingly cheap green screen effects are immediately striking. Then there's the surprisingly graphic deaths of children. Not since Beware! Children At Play have I seen so many gory child deaths depicted in such an unflinching manner. Then, there's the centerpiece of the movie - a jaw-dropping dream(?) sequence where the titular Boy from Hell goes "home" and wreaks even greater havoc. This sequence then returns later on for an even stranger climax.

This is the first film I've seen from Hideshi Hino's Theater of Horror series. Every other movie in this series sounds interesting to say the least (one of them is called Lizard Baby, another is about zombie dolls) so best believe I'll be giving them a watch.

Terror Toons 3 (2015)

Absolute Insanity, The Best In The Series So Far

[8/10 · 1 October 2018]

Not only is this better than the first Terror Toons (a sufficiently entertaining bad movie itself) but I'd go so far as to say this is better than both the previous films COMBINED! Personally I thought the second film was dreadful so that one doesn't add much to the equation.

This one is a massive improvement on every front. The embodiment of a live-action Looney Tunes episode for grown-ups. Cheap but insane visual FX fly across the screen at a mile a minute. Gore is rampant, some of it prosthetic, some of it CGI. All the characters from the first film are reincarnated, including the beloved Dr. Carnage and Max Assassin. Now we can all pretend like the second film didn't exist.

Half of the movie takes place in a hospital where the Doctor and his simian assistant are wreaking all forms of havoc. The other half takes place inside the "toon realm" (I think?) where special guest Herschell Gordon Lewis reads us a bizarre and slightly homo-erotic mix of Three Little Pigs and Little Red Riding Hood that itself devolves into absolute chaos.

The movie never makes any form of sense, but it's rarely ever boring, and there are already TWO more sequels planned! Consider me excited.

b14? 1 (2012 Video)

Anti-Coke PSA feat. Ghanian Terminator

[5/10 · 1 October 2018]

This movie starts off amazing with a heaping helping of the cheesy FX, impressive fight choreography and insane anything-goes approach you were promised in the incredible trailer. But then it lost me as it started to veer off into pointless subplots involving soccer, drug addiction and family melodrama with a preachy anti-drug message.

Despite the laughable FX (the main reason most people, including myself, are drawn to films like this), you can see that a lot of effort was put into this film, and I have nothing but respect for these guys for their unshakable ambition that overcomes their budgetary limitations. Just pleeease don't get lost in an anti-drug PSA next time.

On to part 2 I guess...

10/65: Selbstverstümmelung (1965)

Guy Rolls Around In White Goop and Sticks Stuff To His Face... The End

[3/10 · 30 September 2018]

The title of this very boring short translates to "Self Mutilation", but good luck finding any of that here. The film is 5 minutes of a man rolling around and covering himself in white goop. He puts a big ball of hair under his arm, then sticks some razor blades and other random objects to (not IN) his face, and plays with the goop some more... The End!

Some other weird images flash on screen periodically. none of which make this film any less boring and pointless.

Terrorists, Killers & Middle-East Wackos (2005 Video)

The subhumans behind Bumfights have done it again!

[2/10 · 27 September 2018]

The cretins behind the infamous Bumfights series are back with what can best be described as Traces of Death mixed with America's Funniest Home Videos. If that statement immediately makes your skin crawl, congratulations on being a decent human being.

An unorganized collection of footage from police riots, Iraqi punishments, racing accidents, plane crashes, bizarre diseases and everything in between (including the obligatory Budd Dwyer appearance) unfolds before your eyes while set to either (not so) laughably inappropriate pop punk and electronic music, or goofy stock music meant to be humorous.

The tone schizophrenically (word?) shifts from serious to light-hearted with MTV-style editing and the aforementioned upbeat music to "lighten the mood".

Make no mistake, as with Bumfights, I knew exactly what I was getting into before I got into it, and the morbid side of me was hoping this would be blackly amusing in a really twisted sort of way.

I'll admit, there were three scenes in this movie that were moderately amusing, hence the extra star. The kangaroo hunting scene and the tank scene were the two sole examples where the contrast between the music and the footage actually worked. Then there's the man with elephantitis who has to have another man lift up his gigantic "affected area" as he walks up the stairs.

Other than that, the height of this movies wit is a "Mullet Meter" that - you guessed it - counts the amount of on-screen mullets during an autopsy scene. Bite me.

Some of the footage itself was entertaining, like the accident clips that could easily be on World's Most Amazing Videos or another TV show of that ilk. Other clips were disturbing, like the Iraqi punishments. But the presentation of the footage is reprehensible. Go watch Banned From Television instead.

The Street (1976)

It's All About The Animation

[5/10 · 26 September 2018]

The only thing I knew about this short before watching was the plot description I read here on the site. "A young boy impatiently waits for his grandmother to die so he can have her room" was the gist of it.

So I was thinking this would go one of two ways, it would either be darkly humorous, or touching and human, maybe a combination of both. To my surprise and dismay, it turned out to be neither.

The simple and pedestrian story is told in a very mundane and uninvolving way. I felt little to no emotion watching it unfold.

But, my lord, that animation! It reminds me of those bumpers they used to show on PBS kids (is it harder to toot? or to tutor two tutors to toot?). So visually the film is a treat, but with the slog of a story, I can only give it a modest recommendation.

Mai-chan no nichijô (2014)

A kid's movie compared to the manga, but still manages to deliver some goods.

[6/10 · 25 September 2018]

Mai Chan's Daily Life is possibly the most infamous Ero-Guro (gore porn) manga ever made and I was excited and little skeptical about this live-action adaptation. Seeing as some of the scenarios depicted in the manga are not only extremely over-the-top and ridiculous (the tiger scene) but some would be illegal to recreate with real-life actors (the depraved acts involving young children). Indeed, this was Teletubbies compared to the manga, but it does still manage to squeeze in a palatable amount of Ero-Guro goodness in its slim running time.

Finger-chopping, high heels inserted into open wounds and eroticised disembowelment are just a few of the niceties that lie within. Of coarse, there is also no shortage of titillation and maid fetishism for those who are into that.

Clocking in at barely an hour, the movie doesn't outstay its welcome, and it doesn't pretend to be anything its not. I would love to see what the director could do with a bigger budget. Sequel maybe?

Alien Beasts (1991 Video)

Possibly the most incompetent piece of work I've ever witnessed

[3/10 · 25 October 2017]

The plot of this little-known SOV travesty (from what I could gather) involves some unknown government corporation fighting against some other random unknown government corporation for control of some briefcase or something. Somebody opens up an inter-dimensional portal and then an alien appears. He wreaks a tiny bit of havoc but mostly just chills under a bridge and occasionally trudges around like he's got a 10-foot pole shoved where the sun doesn't shine.

There actually is a pretty detailed plot description on the film's Letterboxd page, and maybe you could make sense of this mess without reading it if you payed extra close attention. But it's d*mn near impossible to care while watching the movie. You'd either have to make an effort to dig your way through terrible sound and video quality, or try not to bust out laughing at the narrator who sounds like a mentally- challenged (and possibly asthmatic) man reading off of poorly- written cue cards.

Muddled plot progression is only the beginning however. The editing is god-awful and completely random. People repeat themselves constantly for no reason whatsoever. Shots go on for WAAAY longer than they need to. There's a five-minute scene of a woman searching through a closet, undressing and then redressing, only to be undressed again by a crazy government agent (alien?). There's an entertaining claymation freak- out during the climax that breaks up the monotony, but at this point it's too-little-too-late.

Incompetent, dragged-out and completely amateurish, but I got a few good laughs out of it.

Satan VHS (2009)

Dopey SOV Nonsense

[5/10 · 11 April 2015]

I would assume that this short film is supposed to be a tribute/parody of the incoherency of '80s era shot-on-video horror films, as it appears it was intended to be a comedy, plus the fact that the movie was made in 2009 and the idea to shoot in on VHS was probably a stylistic choice, plus the fact that I honestly don't see how anybody could legitimately make a movie this bad.

I would say this plot description contains spoilers if there was actually a plot and/or anything to actually spoil. Basically these two guys and a counter-girl twiddle their thumbs in a video store, they watch some of the movies and react in awe at every little thing on screen, the girl throws a Frisbee around a park, there's a stone gargoyle with glowing red eyes that appears in one scene and does absolutely nothing, a random old guy trying to sell exorcism services to rid the video store of evil spirits, and other random scenes that go absolutely nowhere. So it's mostly just a whole lot of nothing for 30 minutes with nothing resembling Satan or any other kind of killer in sight, until suddenly, out of nowhere, the titular(?) killer shows up in the movie's final seconds and the movie ends abruptly.

Incoherent, poorly edited, and overall just a bizarre experience. But it is somewhat entertaining and creepy despite itself (which was probably the point), has a bizarre sense of humor, and a pretty cool retro '80s soundtrack.

Bath Salt Zombies (2013)

Ambitious but still feels somewhat lackluster

[4/10 · 26 September 2014]

**ONE OR TWO POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD**

This is the first Dustin Mills movie I've seen so far, I have heard many good things about his other films such as Puppet Monster Massacre and Easter Casket so I really hope Bath Salt Zombies is not up there with his more acclaimed output because, despite the fact that I somewhat enjoyed this movie, I still found it to be lacking in several places.

First things first, let's start off with the good. The set pieces looked fantastic and the movie is extremely well-shot for such a low-budget. Some of the gore effects are decent if ultimately unsatisfying, but unfortunately most of them are below par (more on that later). There are two scenes of nudity for T&A fans, one of which shows pretty much everything, and both go on for quite a long time. The cartoon segments are cool, and the puppetry is well done (the best scene in the movie involves a dog mutated by chemicals).

Now for the bad. For one, the plot is bare bones, what you read in the IMDb summary is as deep as it goes. The sound is all over the place, whenever people are talking the volume could be quiet as a mouse one second and blaring the next. There really isn't that much gore and, while a few effects look decent enough, a majority of what is there is really nothing to write home about and looks rather poor (any blood splatter from gunshot wounds is just red fog imposed on to the screen with CGI). The make-up for the titular Bath Salt Zombies is rather laughable. Then, just when it looks like things are going to pick up a bit, the film ends abruptly.

Despite these flaws, I did find the movie to be moderately entertaining in places. But unfortunately, the bad outweighs the good. I will still be checking out Dustin Mill's other films eventually, I do like his style, so hopefully he is capable of impressing me.

The Toxic Man (1995 Video)

Really silly SOV splatter trash

[5/10 · 28 June 2014]

The plot of Myrkkymies (aka The Toxic Man) centers around a man who falls into a puddle of toxic waste while walking home from work, his skin melts and he becomes a bloodthirsty mutant who goes around killing a bunch of people. Also some other stuff happens, there's a killer on the loose who went crazy from chopping too much wood, and a guy kills his friend because he cheated at poker, yes you read those last two paragraphs right.

This is a short splatter film shot on a camcorder by a bunch of teenagers, so it's pretty much a given that the production quality is going to be almost non-existent, the entire film is basically just the entire cast acting silly in front of the camera. That being said, it is pretty amusing, and a lot of passable gore effects also make this one worthwhile.

The group of people that made this film are known as Trash Video, and from what I hear, they have greatly improved in their film-making skills since they made this film, so I am eager to check out their other works.

Inner Depravity 2 (2005)

Pointless short sequel is boring and adds nothing new

[3/10 · 22 June 2014]

If you have seen the original Inner Depravity you've practically seen this one too.

There are a few parts of the film (particularly the scene right at the beginning) that are a lot nastier than the first film, and the gore effects seem to have improved slightly, but the nastiness isn't as rampant as it was in the original and most of the film is quite boring. The still images depicting mutilated female corpses that went by in quick flashes in the original are lingered on endlessly here, eliminating any shock value they may have had before.

At least the film is short, running a mere ten minutes, same as the first. So, while I can't exactly say it was a huge waste of time, I still wouldn't recommend it.

Inner Depravity: Vol 1 (2005)

Pretty watchable piece of short twisted trash

[6/10 · 21 June 2014]

The "plot" of Rémy Couture's short film Inner Depravity Vol. 1 simply shows a masked man brutalizing, raping, killing and mutilating women, not always in that order. Well, that's about as deep as it goes plot-wise. The film's sole purpose is simply to show sick, twisted images of necrophilia, gory torture and mutilated female corpses for ten minutes. All of this is set to a pounding industrial/metal soundtrack which is very pleasing to the ears.

The images of dead, mutilated female corpses that flash on screen throughout are very graphic and very nasty, though they go by pretty quick (some don't even say on screen for half a second). The scenes that actually show the killer "in action", are only moderately graphic. Either way, the movie shows off some nice gore effects.

Also, the killer snorts some drugs, the words "God" and "Disabled" randomly flash on screen, and there's a statement about how "mankind has become a master in the art of cruelty", but I'm not about to defend this movie as any sort of social commentary.

Either way, I'm kind of ashamed to say I enjoyed this one in a sick, twisted sort of way. The faint of heart, weak of stomach, or people who like their movie's to have a plot should stay far, far away. However, if you are a gore hound or other form of twisted folk, you should get some enjoyment out of it.

Death Run (1987)

A commendable effort

[7/10 · 22 May 2014]

I was actually genuinely surprised by this one. While far from stellar, Michael J. Murphy's low-budget post-apocalyptic action epic Death Run is definitely a commendable effort.

The plot of Death Run centers around Paul (Rob Bartlett) and his girlfriend Jenny (Wendy Parsons), who live in the midst of a nuclear war and are put in a cryogenic sleep so they can survive the oncoming apocalypse. They awaken 25 years later in a wasteland ruled by a man known as the Messiah (Patrick Olliver). Paul and Jenny are captured by the Messiah, and Paul is chosen to compete in the Death Run. What is the Death Run? Will Paul be able to escape with his girlfriend before he gets the chance to find out?

The movie starts off decent enough, the plot's interesting, scenery looks good, there are mutants affected by radiation that also look pretty good, the action and fight scenes are mostly sub-par, as expected, but acceptable considering the limited budget. But the movie's missing something, gore for one thing (the movie teases us on several occasions), but also the indescribable DIY charm that makes these type of low-budget movies so enjoyable is somewhat lacking.

Luckily, the movie does pick up (namely after one memorable scene involving cannibals) and we are treated to some better action, and some OK gore mostly consisting of stabbings and arrows being shot through people, as well as a couple of severed heads. But I have to say, when we do find out exactly what this "Death Run" thing is, it's a bit of a disappointment.

Another point in the movie's favor would be the short running time, running barely over an hour, which I think is perfect length for this kind of movie.

Some moderate gripes aside, Death Run is worth a watch in my book and I personally think it deserves a lot more attention than it's getting. It's no masterpiece, just a bit underrated.

Fatty Drives the Bus (1999)

Incredibly odd indie comedy took all of my expectations and savagely beat them over the head

[6/10 · 20 May 2014]

Is that a good thing? To be honest I'm still not entirely sure.

The cover and plot description of Fatty Drives The Bus shown here on IMDb doesn't even scratch the surface of how utterly bizarre this movie is. I did enjoy the movie to a certain extent, the assortment of bizarre characters are memorable, and the film has a very oddball, surreal sense of humor, which I can get into. There are several scenes where I found myself laughing out loud, and others where I felt very uncomfortable.

Unfortunately there are some scenes that are very slow and go on for way longer than they needed to, some of the scenes are just plain stupid, and, quite frankly, some scenes are just too weird to be enjoyable.

I really don't know who I would recommend this to, as you do need to have a very specific sense of humor to enjoy it. If you are a fan of comedians such as Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim, I would say at least give this one a shot.

"You know, Indians lived here before the white man slaughtered them, now all that's left is the totem pole. Hmmmmmm, I wonder if it would fit up my a**!" - The Narrator