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Reviews
Late Night with the Devil (2023)
93 minutes you won't regret
OK - I've seen a lot of found footage flicks over the last 30 years, but this may well be the best of the lot. Honestly.
It feels 100% real. Set in the late 70's, the studio is exactly as my minds eye recalls Late Night talk shows looked. Oranges, Browns and yes, Beige, you can't help but be transported back to flared trousers and platform shoes. The studio House Band boogie and smile just as they should. The script is full of nods to the era with jokes that you'll have to Google to understand, well unless your into your 60's. It just works as a whole and effortlessly creates a vibe that is so period correct and believable. The cast is universally perfect, Dastmalchian IS that guy who we vaguely recall as "that" contender who never made it to the Talk Show host big table. His mannerism's are always just as they should be, cheesy and light hearted, served with a side of creepiness. I don't think you can find a single flaw in his performance. Torelli nails the possessed young girl thing too. When she looks straight into the camera to deliver lines, or just because she's in a TV studio, like any young teen would, it really is quite unnerving. I could continue handing out plaudits to all of the cast, but you get the idea, they're all great.
Why 9 stars? There are a couple of flaws, one of which grates because it could have been so easily avoided. Whilst the Broadcast footage is presented in 4:3, slightly off colour, period correct style, the Back Stage footage is not. It's presented in a 16:9 laser sharp, b&w ratio. It drags the viewer, kicking and screaming, out of the so wonderfully created 70's right back to the present in seconds. Surely any backstage footage filmed at the time would have been done using inferior film stock, no? It would have been 4:3, b&w and likely scratched/grainy. It's such an odd artistic decision to choose and I would very much like to know the thought process that went into making it. Just flicking to b&w would have distinguished the chapters sufficiently. The only other small gripe I have is that, personally, I could have done without the last five minutes and have the movie finish at the same time as the broadcast footage. I'm sure some enjoyed the coda, but for me it was unnecessary.
Seriously though this movie is great. To call it a Horror movie in 2024 is going a bit far and will annoy younger audiences accustomed to violence, blood and guts. It is a Chiller that sits right at he top of that ladder. I cannot recall a single jump scare, though I had mentally prepared myself for one a couple of times, and that is to be applauded. Oh i should shout out the old school sfx used when things do get messy in the finale. They are more "The Thing" and "Ghostbusters" than anything of this century and again feel 100% the right choice.
To the perfect Halloween movie playlist you go.. in 3. 2. 1...
Talk to Me (2022)
Was rooting for the hand.
Well, I actually had high expectations for this. Read a lot of positive stuff, damn my English teacher. Anyway what we have here is a good idea, ruined by a bunch of characters I hated. A bunch of whiny, self centered teens, with smarts somewhere between a Mars bar and a US President. Mustn't forget some of the stoopidist suspension of logic flaws I've seen in a horror movie for some time. After the Police arrived, and left, the whole plot collapsed. For a horror movie to really work, it has to draw you in with realistic, everyday likelihoods. The cops would have shut the house down, taken all the phone footage and confiscated the hand. They did none of the above.. Now a hand that allows you to contact the dead I'm prepared to give a pass. A bunch of Aussies finest, walking away from a blood splattered crime scene without a hint of concern.. Well your taking the p**s aren't you mate! The Cinematography however was excellent. Kudos to them.
Knock at the Cabin (2023)
Above average "what if" flick.
So another Shyamalan movie hits the screen. I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with his output. When it's good, it's really, really good (Sixth Sense, Signs..) When it's bad, it's usually plain dull or dumb (The Visit, Lady in the Water..) Anyway so I approached this with hope and fear in equal measure. I won't bother with the plot, its all here in other reviews, it's another act in the line of "What would you do?" thriller movies. I enjoyed the acting performances, across the board, I thought they were excellent, espec Dave Bautista, whose physical presence is cleverly used. Can a guy who looks like the bouncer from hell really be the saint his words suggest? The script not once veers into the "well that's just dumb" in the Scooby Doo sense that so many thrillers fall victim of. Not once did I say well that's a bit stupid, (OK once, but it was a minor offense of provoked vandalism). The characters acted in the way I, personally, would have, faced with the same situations. I was never quite convinced either way, were they the four horsemen or just escaped psychotic patients from a nearby institution? Contrary to many other reviews here, I liked the ending, given what Shyamalan is famous for, it was almost a relief. I haven't read the book and I would almost certainly have enjoyed an ambiguous final act also, but given the events we had witnessed, the ending suited. I didn't find it overly long, nor particularly slow, the KatC pretty much jumps out of the gate straight into the main plot. People seem to be complaining that it's, one, overly long and, two, doesn't develop it's characters sufficiently. Well you can't have it both ways, I guess as a Gen X I can live with a slower paced world. Oh, and it is NOT a horror movie. God only knows why imdb have this listed as the primary category. It also contains my favourite line so far this year: Rupert Grint delivers this pearl: " I did some dubious things things when I was young, but I'm better now.." It's not perfect, but it is a worthy addition to Shyamalans cannon.
AVPR: Aliens vs Predator - Requiem (2007)
Did I miss it?
OK, this is pretty much my experience of AVPR. I headed to my local multiplex back in 2007 and I swear I spent 90 odd minutes looking at a black screen. Occasionally I'd see a flash on screen but nothing more. Tbh on a second home viewing, I think the cinema "totally dark" version of the film was infinitely better than the pile of crap I sat through on my sofa. Cannot even begin to tell you how awful this movie is, as a fan of Alien and even the first AvP movie I had some hopes for this installment. If i'd been able to see the "movie" at the cinema, I would have walked out and demanded my money back. You have been warned,
Im Westen nichts Neues (2022)
Pvt Baldrick "Boom, bo... blown to bits.."
Having not seen or read AQOTWF previously but being a mid 50's purveyor of war films (I was brought up on Commando Comics and the Dambusters,), I thought the film was well crafted and captured the look of the war better than any previous effort. As always, I urge you to watch in the native German language with subtitles, people who watch a dubbed version and then complain about the accents, really? I understand the lack of character depth we get is very shallow, but to me it only served to make the situation the main player in the story. I had difficulty watching the scene in the bunker. The guilt of murdering and watching a man bleed out must have been overwhelming for the men involved at the time, watching it made me long for his pain to end. Although the ending was a touch cliched (the countdown to armistice), men actually were fighting and dying until the final moments of the war. I really do think it is a worthy anti-war film, even if it bears only a passing resemblance to the original, and is a very valid entry given the war in Europe right now.
Nope (2022)
Close Encounters of the Surreal Kind
Straight off the bat - I really enjoyed this movie. Having watched pretty much every UFO movie dating back to the 50's I can safely say this one had a central premise I had not encountered before. Yeah it starts slowly, If you have the attention span of a gnat you might struggle with the first half hour, but the pay off is well worth waiting for. Besides it's all good character build up, for when it hits it's straps (and you'll know when) you'd better hold on. Peele has created a bit of a modern sci-fi masterpiece. Perfectly acted by the two leads, Keke Palmer and Daniel Kaluuya, although brother and sister, couldn't be farther apart personality wise. I loved how Kaluuya's O. J. managed to purvey so much using so little dialogue. Less is so much more here. I enjoyed this far more than Peele's previous movies and look forward to where this young talent will take us next.
The Simpsons (1989)
You try being original, funny and popular for 30 odd years..
Yeah, yeah, I get it, the new seasons aren't as good as the pre-millennium ones. Apart from alcohol, not much improves with age, even the Rolling Stones, 'tis to be expected. However, in my personal experience, what I absolutely will say is that every season in the last decade has had at least two or three episodes that were either amusing or sweet, or both (the Simpsons sweet spot for me). I hear you counter "Well what about the rest?" Now whilst I acknowledge that it stumbles along like Grandpa Simpson on blockers, I'd still rather watch the Simpsons than 95% of the other drivel on TV. Long may the Simpsons continue. Take that naysayer's!!
The Sandman (2022)
Such a waste of a great start..
Simply stop after the brilliant immortal in a bar episode. The season commences a whole new plot line. Gone were the great characters setup in the first 6 episodes (the Devil, Kane and Abel and the magnificent John Dee played by David Thewlis amongst others) to be replaced by ones i cared not a jot for, in a story that was dull and confused in equal amounts.
Pistol (2022)
Who is this made for?
Have read Steve Jones book, which btw is a damned good read, but this adaptation says nothing new. As a fan from the 70's there is nothing here i didn't already know. If it's been made for people like me, they've done their dough. Strike the older gen.. I can only assume the mid 30 crowd, if they're already interested in the Pistols, will have seen better productions. "The Filth and the Fury" is the definitive story, just watch that. The younger gen, are they really interested in the Pistols? I don't know but again I really, really doubt anyone will see this as a casual viewer and become a fan. If they do, where the hell have they been? What i will say is that, by and large, the cast do a good impression of the band. Malcolm McLaren is spot on, kudos to that actor. Anyway, simply go watch the aforementioned doco, it's fantastic. Oh and while you're at it buy John's (superior) book too, for some balance.
The Last Duel (2021)
Difficult in every sense
The Last Duel is a Ridley Scott movie. It looks and sounds like all of his other period work. It is somewhat harder to classify though due to it's subject matter. Male domination and rape. It really is difficult for me to say that I enjoyed the movie, which I did for large portions, without countering that by saying I'm not sure I will ever endure the runtime again. Watching a rape scene once is grueling, but then to review it once more with subtle but crucial variations, although necessary, was hard to take.
Elsewhere the story, told in three acts, is entertaining. The battle scenes are top notch, the final duel being as gritty and brutal as anything Ridley has offered prior.
As it stands this movie is one that will divide opinion. For sure, I am 100% certain it depicts an accurate portrayal of the social acceptances of that time. But for me, if there is any preaching here, it needs to be said, and anyone that takes umbrage at the supposed anti-male agenda should have a good rethink.
The Power of Men, even today, although diminished, still exists.
The Beatles: Get Back (2021)
So much film shot for so little interesting footage.
After Ep1 - Now I really like the Beatles, and the film quality from that Lord of the Rings bloke is top drawer... but I have to say watching them jam for 2 and a half hours does not make for great entertainment. Sometimes less really is more. The same level of story progression could have been done in half the time with some sensible editing. Kinda like watching cricket, you can tune out and still get the gist of whats happening from paying half attention. Only really hard core fans really need apply for the marathon slog of all three episodes.
Verplant - Wie zwei Typen versuchen, mit dem Rad nach Vietnam zu fahren (2021)
Smokes and Beers make you fit..
If you cycle halfway across the world, I should add.
Really rather enjoyed this odyssey in the company of two very ordinary blokes doing an extraordinary thing. Before the guys set off, and looking at them and a hand drawn map, you can't help but doubt their chances. Sure enough as the story develops, so do the challenges and hardship the guys face.
I will also note the footage from the camera's they used is surprisingly good, considering most of the movie must have been shot on phones or GoPro type equipment.
Oh and if you wanted confirmation of just how draconian rural China is, look no further.
Dune (2021)
Nothing is Impossible.
Dune is a cohesive, intelligent movie. Finally. Thanks to perhaps the finest visionary director of the last 10 years, we can now enjoy a movie many had thought impossible to make (at least we are halfway there, I can't see him dropping the ball in Part2 though.) I'm so pleased to hear that the concluding movie has been green lighted and we can all set our calendars to resume this epic journey.
The Guilty (2021)
Wish I'd hung up..
What starts with a promising premise soon becomes a tiring slog. For me a film needs to have steps of progression, each drawing you further into the story, The Guilty has two. I quickly became frustrated and annoyed at both JG's handling of calls and the whiny voices on the other end of the line. I rate Jake very highly and he was the main draw card for me here, but I can't believe his already highly stressed character could still be at work, never mind in a 911 call center. He would have been sent home from any work place I've encountered. Ok I didn't see the "twist" but it couldn't save this one for me.
Midnight Mass (2021)
Close is often worse.
OK, I got to the end and it entertained me , but I just couldn't help but check "how long left" on several episodes. Episodes 3-7 always seemed to threaten to hit the accelerator but somehow the gear box was usually stuck in neutral. Occasionally it wasn't and that's when Midnight Mass is as enthralling as the best King novels. The first two episodes are brilliant, setting a tone and introducing the main players. The big problem though is we are still getting back stories in episodes 5 and 6. The time for these is over and you want the main story to explode. There are creepy moments and plenty of deep monologues that really make you think, but the show needed tightening up and could have easily lost an episode. Oh and I'm sure it's been mentioned elsewhere but for the love of God had no one heard of vampires on the island? Seriously? Not once is it even mentioned as a side thought, in a show so full of lengthy dialogue.
The Green Knight (2021)
Not familiar with the story?
I wasn't, but I was intrigued to watch. All I can say, after a days consideration, is I'd rather wish I hadn't. On the positive (an odd word to use for such a downbeat movie) side, In general the movie looks and sounds beautiful and haunting. You can almost breath the mist and moss, as if you were joining Gaiwain on his odyssey. But that's the good done with..
On the downside, the story arc. Make a bad decision, realize this, learn and gain a level of redemption which in the final wash counts for nothing. Really? I am sure there must be more to this. Not being familiar with the tale really I have only what the movie offers to go on, and if there is more, it does not seek to advise the viewer. Also as mentioned by almost everyone else, this movie crawls along. I lost count of the number of scenes that either could have been fully edited out or drastically shortened. As it stands the movie version of this tale that could easily be told within 100 minutes. The movie has solid acting performances, beautiful cinematography and a haunting score, which, rather surprisingly, goes to show that all of the above can still result in a miserable waste of time.
The Vast of Night (2019)
A visual audiobook
Not so much a movie, as a story with talking heads. Great swathes of dialogue with only 2 shots of the conversationalists for up to 10 minutes screentime. Sorry but I found it incredibly dull. I liked the premise, it is an interesting idea stumbling across alien communications, but I found myself just watching in the hope that something unexpected might happen. I'll save you, it doesn't...
Westworld (2016)
What the hell happened?
Season 3 is virtually unwatchable. Westworld, by its theme arc, demands its audience to be intelligent and analytical, this season requires the same audience to be stupid enough to accept some ridiculous concepts and scenario's. Serac, for all his wealth and intelligence, appears to have employed Stormtrooper rejects for his own private army. "Send everyone after her" results in maybe three stooges finding new ways to get themselves killed. I nearly threw the controller in disgust after the corridor fight in the latest episode. However as i do not work for Serac, I may have hit my television resulting in a costly repair. From an intelligent, thought provoking series, Westworld is now thoroughly broken and that makes me angry and sad in equal measures.
Vivarium (2019)
The first five minutes..
Are the whole story. If you are familiar with the Cuckoo then stop after this sequence. You will save yourself 90mins of "is this it" questions and a screaming child (chick in the nest.) I am not averse to the odd art-house film, I thoroughly enjoyed the recent "The Platform". Apart from the "unique" set design and aesthetics it's impossible to recommend due, wholly, to the paper thin story.
The Turning (2020)
Terrible Cliched Waste of Time
Only the recent "The Grudge" beats this for worst horror in living memory.
Grab a bottle of wine before watching and swig when you see any:
a) Cracked Doll face
b) Ghost in Mirror
c) Fog
d) Crazy Old Lady
Drunk within 10 minutes.. God awful film with (and if it were possible) an even worse ending.
The War of the Worlds (2019)
The most disappointing 90 minutes of TV I have seen in years
I anxiously looked forward to this series since it was announced, having viewed episode 1, I am left only questions, and none are good.
The BBC has always produced great quality entertainment, done with style and an eye for detail. This feels like it was produced by the Sci-Fi channel.
I was led to believe that it was true to the source material (the greatest book of all time IMHO). As all decently budgeted previous adaptions had annoyingly changed the era, this immediately moved my expectations up, foolishly. The show, although period correct, has so little in common with the book (other than names). The leads do not act/speak as Edwardians would, the characters from the book do not follow the same story lines, (the artilleryman for instance). The whole script is a mess, who ever is responsible for this shambolic re-telling should hang their head. When you're gifted the greatest story of all time, little extra "sauce" is needed. The moving between timelines is unnecessary and adds absolutely nothing, they do however make you appreciate when you get back to the "proper" story. The leads do their best but the lines are trite, neither my wife or I care what happens to them.
The reason, we were told, for the lengthy delay was apparently the special effects. Obviously the PS4 they used had issues, because that's the level we are looking at here. The usual scaling issues that these kind of movies usually have are all present, one scene 30 stories high the next 10, and the tripods are less frightening than those from the 1984 BBC "Tripods" series.
Usually after a poor first episode I always hope that things improve. I know that, in this case, my hopes are dashed before the title screen.
Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)
The Downward Spiral
Looked forward to this one having seen the trailers. Left dissapointed and a tad confused. Such a great first 45 minutes with loads of genuinely good moments. The rest played out like a hundred other movies I've seen where sadly, none of the clever twists promised eventuate.
The opening grips you within seconds and leads to a murder but the perp is never identified, or even alluded to again in the following 2 hours. The hotel being on a state line, one of the big plays in all the hype, has literally the most tenuous link with anything that plays out. Seriously the hotel could have been in any state that allowed gambling in the '60's. No clever story around this Red Herring. I thought the bellboy/staff may had been the young robber at the heist, would have been an interesting development - he had been waiting at the El Royale for his payoff for years - nope another false lead. Infact this is what the movie provides in spades, Red Herrings. You as the viewer are looking for clues, all the way through that you think will all come into play in the final scene. There are none, don't waste your time. I expected so much more from the guy behind the Cabin in the Woods, one of the best horror movies for years. It was clever and not afraid to explore the genre in different ways. BT also felt like a showcase for the singing talents for Ms Erivo - every scene she sings in goes on for far too long and destroys the pacing of the movie. The good news is that the movie looks good and the performances are spot on. However, in the end, BTATER is nowhere near as clever as it aspires to be