sarion Reviews

Project Silence (2023)

Wasted effort :(

[2/10 · 13 August 2024]

I know that every survival horror needs to has the dumbest people alive to make it work. They don't use automatic weapon, instead they make imrpovised torches which stop burning after a minute - for example...

S. W. A. T. team were a buch of most lazy, stupid, dumb, morons in history. And pacifist - seriously - they didn't shot, don't use knives, nothing. I am guessing their combat training was conducted by Mahatma Ghandi.

This could be something of value - do you remember the fight with dogs from first Resident Evil movie? Mila was simply amazing, dogs was scary but beatable, everything looks cool and awesome.

But this time we get something so stupid it is painful to watch.

Argylle (2024)

Why did you do this to me, Henry!?

[1/10 · 20 March 2024]

I have watched this steaming pile of extrement only for Henry. I was hoping for some good entertainment instead of it I have suffered over two hours of agony when your diaphragm collapses in a paroxysm of pain caused by the gag reflex. The level of cringe is absolutely overwhelming, final fight is like watching Bollywood dancing extravaganza while being on acid trip.

Overall it is like James Bond movie made for 6 yrs old kids, stupidity and cringe destroying you without mercy while watching. Please, try to avoid at all costs!

One of the worst cinematic experience in my life... :(

Henry, why did you do this to me?!

Twisted Metal (2023– )

It is an very old story

[6/10 · 7 September 2023]

The story in this show is almost direct rip off from old book, which is Damnation Alley by Roger Zelazny. Book is amazing, tv show is ok. So if someone looking for something fresh about the idea behind the show it would be a collossal disapoinment. Othere than that it is a very simple but still quite entertaining tv show. Nothing funcy but still enoyable. So you can watch it but dont look for the emotional punch that first Mad Max hase, or stunning visuals. Low budget - this is post appo, right but also a quid solid work. That' it for now folks, you can go away and do something nice for yourself...

Black Site (I) (2022)

With fast forward in use - it is not so painful

[4/10 · 3 May 2022]

I dunno why some quite good actors (maybe not the absolute first league but decent ones) take part in this endeavour. This movie is not terribly bad, but it is not good also, some very average, generic action/thriller with some bad looking CGI/FX (shooting gun without recoil looks terribly lame for example).

Long story short, if you are abandoned on some desert island and you have absolutely nothing to do - you can try it, otherwise please do anything else.

The Neon Demon (2016)

Lesbian Necrophilia Cannibal Apocalipse

[1/10 · 28 July 2018]

No, I am not kidding.

My only regret is there is no way in the universe to unseen this piece of crap...

L.A. Confidential (1997)

The best police drama ever

[10/10 · 19 September 2016]

One of the best if not the best movie in my personal pantheon of cinema's most precious jewels.

This is the show of Kevin Spacey, who's performance is just amazing, especially when we can watch his inner personal change from slick, crooked cop to someone who try to get back his lost way.

But what I love the most about this movie is Russel Crowe. I remember him from his very first movie - Roomper Stomper. Since than he create many of amazing movie characters, but his play in L.A. Confidential is just stunning. His rough, brutal character with dark history is great acted, I can almost feel his anger towards anyone who hurt woman.

And even small things matters - everyone who know Rollo Tomassi, know what I am talking about...

I have seen this one more than 20-30 times, lost count at some moment, but I know there are many more times to come, because I cannot get enough of good, old style police drama.