couchfrenchfry Reviews

Alice (2009)

The Best Live Action Alice, Realistic Science Fiction + Fantasy

[9/10 · 2 April 2015]

Another good made for TV version of Alice is 'Alice' (2009). Or as I like to call it, Just Plain Alice. Live action with a twist, the creatures of the original are all people. It's a science fiction fantasy where the white rabbit is a man who wears his white hair in two pony tails. He's a procurer of "oysters," us, who are milked for their emotions.

All the Alice tropes are twisted into service. Such as a bit of verse recited by an Earth scientist who distills liquid emotions from the "oysters" kept entranced in a faux casino overhead, "The time has come my Walrus friend (a guy with a walrus mustache), to test our many stills. The oohs, the ahs, the healing drops, the passions and the thrills; and see how joy and awe and lust can all be turned to pills." Now that's just pure fun. "Take away that barrel of monkeys I ordered."

Alice is a karate instructor. For some reason, Jack Heart gives her the "Stone of Wonderland." The stone is the heart of the "Looking Glass," a machine that transfers folks between Earth and Wonderland. I don't know if you can tell by what I've written, but this is a good story. The characters are real, however fanciful, and the story draws you in. You want to see what happens next and hope Alice finds her way home with the surprise person of interest she finds there.

Matt Frewer of 'Eureka' and 'Max Headroom' is excellent as the White Knight. The role seems tailor made for him. There are a few non human characters, a robotic March Hare called Mad March. And the Jabberwocky, which seems to be part T. Rex, dragon, chameleon, and rabbit.

For a made for TV film there are excellent special effects and artistic decor in Wonderland. Oh suits, I just got that. The enforcers wear suits and have discrete insignia like 3 club or 9 diamond. The story is resolved nicely. Great show. If you only saw it years ago on TV, have another look.

Star Trek: The Next Generation: The Survivors (1989) Season 3, Episode 3

Right out of 'The Martian Chronicles' by Ray Bradbury

[8/10 · 25 September 2014]

Bradbury often wrote of the last man on a planet or the last couple. Even the character's name, Uxbridge, sounds like one of his. Of course if the writer of 'The Survivors' was inspired by stories he had read, well as they say, if you're going to steal, why not steal from the best? Bradbury was more of a poet who used science fiction as a setting for stories of human emotion. The best science fiction has a strong human story at its heart. Stories with nothing but whiz bang special effects may be okay for a short time, but we do not return to watch such stories again. Next Generation's 'The Survivors' is the kind of story you watch more than once. It also has a good science fiction twist at the end. Well worth watching.

Sand Sharks (2012)

Great Summer Movie, Strictly For Laughs

[10/10 · 21 July 2014]

I agree with Nutty_Goodness, this is a silly, fun, summer film. What we need are separate categories like Summer Movie. A summer movie does not take itself seriously. The special effects are just for fun, not for realism. The actors are aware that they're making a "B" movie and have fun with it. And when you rate a summer film, you must bear these things in mind. For example, in 'Sand Sharks,' four people are eaten in the first fifteen minutes and yet the inhabitants go on peacefully planning a spring break festival. The mayor says, "I'm drawing a line in the sand," GULP! Of course he's eaten. The people are so dumb that if they're all eaten by sand sharks the human race will be slightly improved. Of course they imagine they've got rid of the sharks and have the festival. Turns out the sharks love music. They're party animals.

The Three Musketeers (1993)

This Film Is An Insult To Walt Disney

[1/10 · 25 June 2014]

I watched several Three Musketeers films recently. This one I could not watch. First, it is letter boxed. Zoom does not fill the screen. Second, Cardinal Richelieu tortures and then murders a man for trying to steal food to keep from starving. I do not know how this got by the censors at Disney. I did not watch much more but threw the disc into the trash can. Richelieu may have been indifferent to the suffering of poor folks but he was a statesman, not a monster. I was looking forward to some lighthearted fun. I will be very suspicious of every Disney film from now on. Simplification is okay but dragging what is usually a fun romp down to this level is inexcusable.

The Monkey's Paw (I) (2013)

A Nice Slice of Life With a Slice of Horror

[9/10 · 21 June 2014]

Remains true to the original story, which is truly horrific. It's an old idea, you get three wishes but the granting of those wishes makes you wish you were dead. The victim usually ends up wishing that his first two wishes be reversed. This film has a different twist at the end. What's also good about this version is the very realistic slice of life of some factory workers living somewhere near New Orleans. You feel that these are real people. To me this is better than a lot of special effects and some hard to believe monster. There is a nicely creepy aura to that part of the world. Anyway, this film keeps you going with action and surprise twists. In a word, it will haunt you.

The Three Musketeers (2011)

Excellent Update of a Classic

[10/10 · 18 June 2014]

I heartily approve of the trend of taking classic tales and adding modern techniques to liven up the action. The Three Musketeers is an action packed thriller. I mean the original story. I'm certain the author would approve this version because action and adventure is what the musketeers are all about. The additions are not even that far out. It was 1783 when the Montgolfier brothers first flew in a hot air balloon. The Da Vinci flying war ship is simply a step up from that. Why should classics be put on a special shelf labeled, 'Do not touch?' A good tale does not suffer from the addition of modern techniques. Please enjoy this film for what it is, a fun, action packed romp.

The Dark Knight (2008)

Batman Was Never Meant To Be Serious

[1/10 · 3 May 2014]

I have enjoyed every outing of Batman till I watched 'The Dark Knight' and 'Batman Begins.' The basic story, from a comic book, is a comic story. As soon as it is put into a semblance of real life it fails. The main character is a man who dresses up as a bat. This is funny. The Dark Knight trilogy is made by people with no sense of humor. Who cares about lunatics that wear weird costumes and commit crimes? In the real world these pathetic folks would be locked up. The original Batman TV show and Tim Burton's outings maintain the humor inherent in the story. Subtract the humor and you have long dull scenes in between action sequences. Get rid of the long talky scenes and the Dark Knight films would be fair action films. If you are like me and prefer light and humor, these films are not for you. Even 'Breaking Bad' had some humor in it. I maintain that Batman is inherently humorous and thus the Dark Knight series fails to capture or honor the original.

The Adventurer: The Curse of the Midas Box (2013)

What Are You Guys Complining About?

[10/10 · 22 February 2014]

The film is a bit uneven in spots but quite entertaining. Perhaps they borrowed from 'Indiana Jones' and 'Warehouse 13' but as the saying says, 'If you're going to steal, steal from the best.' I thought it was not only a good film, it was almost two good films. The first section is like a separate story. Then the island hotel scenes are like a different world. Great atmosphere. I would like to see this show become a regular feature coming out with a new adventure every year or so. Looks like what they are planning. Perhaps some of the unevenness is owing to setting up future stories. Reminds me of the 'The Librarian' franchise which I quite enjoyed. In my opinion, this film is solid entertainment.

The Cold Equations (1996 TV Movie)

Intense and Satisfying

[10/10 · 17 January 2014]

That other guy needs to see an eye doctor or adjust his set. This film is thrilling, intense, exciting, realistic, a love story, scientifically accurate science fiction. Now you do have to commit to watching this. It is not a casual experience. When you're in the mood and have the time, buckle yourself onto the couch and join this thrill ride. These two young actors put on such a performance as is rarely seen. The whole show takes place in two rooms, it's like a stage play but it outplays all those shallow science fiction films where the special effects are the real stars of the show. This is literature translated onto the screen.

A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)

Killed The Franchise

[1/10 · 16 June 2013]

I suppose I can understand the desire to get a few more dollars out of a popular franchise but this one really riled me. What happened to Bruce Willis' daughter? We can't have a female hero? Jennifer Garner and Milla Jovovich would beg to differ.

So it's an action film, what are the creative new stunts? None. Early on a truck jumps from a raised street to a lower level, just like in The Terminator. Then we have helicopter stunts, yawn.

This film does an injustice to the move going public. I recently saw a film for sale I thought I might like but passed right on by because I thought it might be a disappointment like Good Day to Dull Harp, or whatever it's called.

Bruce Willis should be ashamed. We would respect him more for turning down such a lame script. Not like he has no other offers. Do not see this film, even out of curiosity. It really sucks bad.

Lake Placid 3 (2010 TV Movie)

A Fun Romp

[8/10 · 20 April 2013]

If you don't know what "tongue in cheek" means, do not watch this film. Personally I'd watch anything starring Colin Ferguson and Yancy Butler. You may know Colin as the sheriff of Eureka (SyFy Channel series) and Yancy Butler starred in the little known series Mann and Machine and Witchblade. Both actors have that special something that rivets the viewer's attention. As for Lake Placid 3, what do you expect? It's a second sequel to a silly film about crocodiles in a very northern lake. It actually takes place in Maine. Several hundred miles north of where any crocodile or alligator could survive. Obviously not to be taken seriously. Keep in mind that this is a summer comedy, relax and enjoy it for what it is.

Futurama (1999– )

It's the Simpsons of the future!

[10/10 · 12 March 2013]

To a long time science fiction fan Futurama seems like the inevitable development of televised SF. Finally. The show is creative and very humorous. But aside from the entertainment, such shows often lead to changes in the real world. There are many examples from Star Trek: medical displays, flip phones, etc. What I would like to see developed from Futurama is Bachelor Chow. I would buy it. As it is I get many prepared meals from the frozen section of the grocery store. Wal-Mart has a breakfast bowl that consists of scrambled eggs, hash browns, and choice of sausage or bacon. Just heat and eat. Let's get Bachelor Chow on the shelves!

The Last Airbender (2010)

I think it's great

[10/10 · 6 January 2013]

This is a high budget rendition of a fantasy story in the tradition of ancient China. It has great special effects and such creative bits as the hero escapes from a boat by opening a kite, running along and jumping off the boat whereupon he glides away to safety. Another pleasant surprise is that the film is in English so there's no poorly dubbed dialog. Some object to the violence in the film, come on folks, it's a kung fu film. The main characters are played by enchanting young actors instead of "big name" stars. This gives a nice freshness to the film. It's not another burned out Hollywood blockbuster without any real story. You may like this film or hate it but I defy anyone to be indifferent to it.

Switch (1991)

One of the Funniest Films Ever

[10/10 · 15 December 2012]

I can't imagine why this film has such a low rating. Many times I have watched the beautiful and hilariously funny Ellen Barkin pretend that high heels are new to her. Not to mention the great scene where he/she discovers that he/she has come back to life as a woman. The battle of the sexes is vividly portrayed in a very humorous way. Also amusing is the portrayal of advertising men as so low they would have to climb a few notches to reach the moral level of an ambulance chasing lawyer. Switch is not only a great comedy that stands the test of time but has a touching ending that adds another dimension to the story. Switch is one of my all time favorite films.

Ultraviolet (2006)

Finally a movie made for Milla Jovovich

[10/10 · 5 November 2012]

Unlike Resident Evil, Ultraviolet allows Milla to look her best while performing the amazing stunts she is famous for. Also despite her "not being human" in the film she gives a more human performance as well. This film rises above the mere video game based films and improves on her performance in The Fifth Element. Also the film speaks to a more realistic set of fears and possible solutions insofar as it refers to a disease that may spread to the whole human race. Ultraviolet is more like a good science fiction story plus the usual special effects we have come to expect from a modern film. So whether you like fantasy violence or a solid human story you will get both in Ultraviolet.