I watched this movie because its trailer was so good, especially the use of The Sweet's "Ballroom Blitz."
But the song does not appear at all in the film.
But the song does not appear at all in the film.
Reviews
11 Reviews
The Laundromat
(I) (2019)
Not what you expect
23 August 2020
2 parts THE BIG SHORT, 1 part ERIN BROCKOVICH (dir. Soderbergh), 1 part TRAFFIC (likeways). A stellar cast and a script that entertains as much as it informs--a couple of times, I said to my wife, "y'know, I was *hoping* that something like that would happen, but I honestly didn't think I'd get to see it in a movie like this," In the manner of the spaceship cameo in LIFE OF BRIAN.
Knock Down the House
(2019)
A Documentary With Heart
2 June 2019
First, if you're looking for political analysis in a documentary, this ain't your movie. This film documents the struggle of several women who are complete novices in politics yet decide to challenge their incumbent U.S. Representatives. Obviously, given the Blue Wave of 2018, all the challengers are progressives, and that's going to bother a big chunk of the audience. (Or maybe not--do Trumpies watch documentaries that aren't on YouTube?)
The only political bias I noticed in the film itself was when they gave screen time to AOC's incumbent: the score became dark and ominous. Not cool. But otherwise, KDtH was an engaging piece.
The only political bias I noticed in the film itself was when they gave screen time to AOC's incumbent: the score became dark and ominous. Not cool. But otherwise, KDtH was an engaging piece.
Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again
(2018)
What Shock Treatment was to Rocky Horror
18 July 2018
Actually, a defibrillator would have helped this comatose snoozer. I was as enthused as the rest of the audience when we took our seats, hoping for some fun dance videos paper-clipped together by a ridiculous plot. But alas, the magic is gone. Whereas in the first film, Meryl's magic welcomed us all with open arms her fabulous, fangirl world, there's just nothing to keep this lethargic zeppelin afloat. Lily James is phenomenal in her role as Young Donna--without her performance and Meryl's too-brief cameo, I'd have given this disaster a single star--but she just doesn't yet have the gravitas to carry the entire film. My fellow patrons had initially sat down on the edges of their seats, ready to jump up and dance at the right moment..but that moment never came.
The Perfect Stranger
(2005)
It's smarter than you are
20 January 2008
I have to say, this film is way deeper than most critics give it credit for. Sure, upon superficial viewing, "The Perfect Stranger" is Christian propaganda of the shoddiest kind, openly bad-mouthing other forms of monotheism. But that's the whole POINT, don't you see? Christ would never do any of the petty things depicted in this film. He wouldn't belittle others, he wouldn't play head games, he wouldn't show pride, he wouldn't seduce.
But you know who would? C'mon, people, wake up--it was Satan disguised as Jesus! Brilliant twist, and kudos to the director, scribe, and marketing department for respecting the audience enough not to spell it all out for us. The actors weren't incompetent, either: they were acting as bad actors, hinting at the lie beneath it all. Again, brilliant!
Waitasec--nah, it probably really is just another steaming pile of programming (in the literal sense) from a triple-digit cable station. You want a great Christian film? See "Life of Brian" again.
But you know who would? C'mon, people, wake up--it was Satan disguised as Jesus! Brilliant twist, and kudos to the director, scribe, and marketing department for respecting the audience enough not to spell it all out for us. The actors weren't incompetent, either: they were acting as bad actors, hinting at the lie beneath it all. Again, brilliant!
Waitasec--nah, it probably really is just another steaming pile of programming (in the literal sense) from a triple-digit cable station. You want a great Christian film? See "Life of Brian" again.
Firebird 2015 AD
(1981)
Borrrrrrrring...
28 March 2007
I love Darren McGavin, but I couldn't make it past the first twenty minutes of this film--and that included a lot of fast-forwarding past the tedious driving scenes. Boring premise, cheesy dialog, and pacing that made me rather watch my clock's hour hand move. And come on--if the hero is going to restore some classic automobile, why would he ever waste his time and effort on a crappy Firebird?!
I literally threw away the videotape when I was done. Lucky for me that it was a gift from a friend (who also saw no reason to hang on to it). If you're looking for a silly high-speed movie, watch Smokey and the Bandit or any Steve McQueen movie. There's no reason to waste time with this drek.
I literally threw away the videotape when I was done. Lucky for me that it was a gift from a friend (who also saw no reason to hang on to it). If you're looking for a silly high-speed movie, watch Smokey and the Bandit or any Steve McQueen movie. There's no reason to waste time with this drek.
Best. TV. Episode. Ever.
16 December 2006
"Out of Gas" is the "Citizen Kane" of television episodes. Everything about it is perfect: the stellar cast, Tim Minear's brilliant and moving script, David Solomon's direction (fantastic pacing), the melancholy soundtrack, the clever lighting--everything. I can watch this ep over and over, which I can't say about any other ep of any TV show I can think of.
I disagree with the other commentator that "Out of Gas" should have been the final ep; the best series finale to "Firefly" was never made because it would have given closure to seven years of outstanding television.
I disagree with the other commentator that "Out of Gas" should have been the final ep; the best series finale to "Firefly" was never made because it would have given closure to seven years of outstanding television.
Watch the Chernobyl opening, then eject
17 May 2006
I was really impressed with the atmosphere created by the first ten minutes in Chernobyl. The grim surreality of the actual setting perfectly set the mood for living death.
Unfortunately, the film plummets from that point. The two-dimensional characters and talentless cast are forgivable--no one rents a zombie flick for Shakespearean depth--but is basic continuity too much to ask from the fourth installment of a series? Or how about some black humor, which made the first two films stand out from vanilla zombie flicks? After the Chernobyl opening, there's no reason to waste the next hour of your life. There's not even a titty flash to wake you up. Peter Coyote was a near-relief from the rest of the dreck, planting his thumb firmly in cheek as if to say, "Yeah, I know: this film is runny crap and I apologize, but I have gambling debts to pay off by Thursday or they'll break my kneecaps. But hey, dig my impression of a James Bond villain." Lots of people gave this film a 10 rating. Don't be fooled--they must be friends and family of the film-makers. "Dawn of the Dead" deserves a 10; the original "Return of the Living Dead" an 8 or 9. But this movie has next to nothing going for it.
Unfortunately, the film plummets from that point. The two-dimensional characters and talentless cast are forgivable--no one rents a zombie flick for Shakespearean depth--but is basic continuity too much to ask from the fourth installment of a series? Or how about some black humor, which made the first two films stand out from vanilla zombie flicks? After the Chernobyl opening, there's no reason to waste the next hour of your life. There's not even a titty flash to wake you up. Peter Coyote was a near-relief from the rest of the dreck, planting his thumb firmly in cheek as if to say, "Yeah, I know: this film is runny crap and I apologize, but I have gambling debts to pay off by Thursday or they'll break my kneecaps. But hey, dig my impression of a James Bond villain." Lots of people gave this film a 10 rating. Don't be fooled--they must be friends and family of the film-makers. "Dawn of the Dead" deserves a 10; the original "Return of the Living Dead" an 8 or 9. But this movie has next to nothing going for it.
Slither
(2006)
Perfect casting redeems vanilla script
2 April 2006
The leads were amazing: Fillion is the ultimate dramedic actor, Banks is like Jim Carrey's mind in Nicole Kidman's body, Michael Rooker was pretty much still creepy-as-ever "Henry" (but even buffer), and Gregg Henry did an amazing job of channeling James Karen ("Do you want to keep this job, boy?!") of the "Return of the Living Dead" series. The script was predictable (a fact that the soundtrack indicated was intentional via its pomposity), and every character was little more than a stereotype (hence no real heart to the movie), but Gunn was at least clever enough to play to the actors' strengths. Larfs and chills were about evenly balanced. There was something oddly sweet about the movie in a '50s-drive-in sorta way. "Slither" is a solid early-summer flick: forgettable but fun.
Van Helsing
(2004)
Worst movie EVER
8 August 2005
I was expecting this movie to be a typical summer movie: mindless but fun. I was half right.
To help bring myself down to "Van Helsing"'s level--you know, to get into a less critical, fun-anticipating mood--I had three martinis before entering the theater. It wasn't enough.
I've seen better F/X in Ed Wood films. Abbott and Costello met scarier monsters. Video games have more engaging (and credible) plots. The jokes were painful; the drama riotous. Whatsername was hilarious as her accent ranged from Natasha Fatale to a German Scot. If the movie had been tongue-in-cheek (e.g. "The Night Stalker" or "Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things"), it might possibly have succeeded.
It's hard to believe, with the time-tested material they had to work with, that they could possibly have failed to make an entertaining movie. But they did.
To help bring myself down to "Van Helsing"'s level--you know, to get into a less critical, fun-anticipating mood--I had three martinis before entering the theater. It wasn't enough.
I've seen better F/X in Ed Wood films. Abbott and Costello met scarier monsters. Video games have more engaging (and credible) plots. The jokes were painful; the drama riotous. Whatsername was hilarious as her accent ranged from Natasha Fatale to a German Scot. If the movie had been tongue-in-cheek (e.g. "The Night Stalker" or "Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things"), it might possibly have succeeded.
It's hard to believe, with the time-tested material they had to work with, that they could possibly have failed to make an entertaining movie. But they did.
Charming li'l zombie flick!
19 February 2004
Yes, the acting ranged from poor to hilariously bad (although Val has a good moment or two), and yes, the dialog indicates that the script was written by a couple of kids in a clubhouse after reading lots and lots of mouldering EC comix--but beyond that, it's a fine li'l film. The makeup was credible, and the sound effects were quite creative: I've never heard loons used to such disturbing effect.
But what makes this movie shine is the direction. The idiot kids time and again tempt fate, and the camera zooms in on what you fully expect to be the object of explosive action...and nothing happens. Over and over, you're teased to the brink of jumping out of your seat and screaming, 'Enough already! Kill 'em all!' The low budget was accommodated by brilliant pacing, condensing all the action into the final moments of the film.
The fact nearly everyone who's seen this movie saw it on the little screen, and that so many of them (like me) were scared out of their minds is proof that this movie is a must-see for any fan of the macabre. It's not Shakespeare (the title kinda gives that away), but it's a terrific first effort by a talented director.
But what makes this movie shine is the direction. The idiot kids time and again tempt fate, and the camera zooms in on what you fully expect to be the object of explosive action...and nothing happens. Over and over, you're teased to the brink of jumping out of your seat and screaming, 'Enough already! Kill 'em all!' The low budget was accommodated by brilliant pacing, condensing all the action into the final moments of the film.
The fact nearly everyone who's seen this movie saw it on the little screen, and that so many of them (like me) were scared out of their minds is proof that this movie is a must-see for any fan of the macabre. It's not Shakespeare (the title kinda gives that away), but it's a terrific first effort by a talented director.
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