phil-ertl Reviews

Poor Things (2023)

Nonsensical

[4/10 · 6 May 2024]

Ok wow how did this movie get so many Oscars?! I am normally fairly aligned with most reviews on here, but I didn't get this movie at all. Ok, the set design is amazing, though you do tire of it towards the end of the movie, you kinda want the visuals to be less off. I was actually glad it was over, it felt like a nightmare watching it - I know that was the intention but it was t enjoyable in my view. The story also didn't make much sense. And was the acting really that great? I don't agree with it, especially Emma Stone's accent felt a bit off and not as believable. I don't think Mark Ruffalo was really feeling his role either. The whole story was a bit forced as well. And the message of the movie is a bit questionable I would argue. 'Poor things' was trying a bit too hard to be arty and be shocking that I just got really bored at the end.

Testament: The Story of Moses (2024)

It's not a documentary

[2/10 · 30 March 2024]

This is not a documentary, more like religious propaganda. It could've really been an interesting series if it had looked at the story of Moses from a scientific point of view as well. There are so many interesting theories how the bush burned, how the plagues happened (eg initially through an algae infestation that triggered a chain reaction, which resulted in the other plagues) and in my opinion it's a missed opportunity to completely avoid that part. The script is quite poor as well. The acting is ok, but what can they do with such bad dialogues. Lots of pauses, which makes it look like a cheap telenovela. It was interesting to hear about the religious leader's point of view but I would've really liked to hear some scientific voices as well.

Manhunt (2024)

Very hard to watch

[3/10 · 29 March 2024]

You would think that they made a bit more effort producing a tv series about the manhunt of the killer of Lincoln. No. Terrible acting - the casting is totally off. Terrible directing - the edits are so weird, timelines are too mixed up and characters have mannerisms and behave like in today's world. Lincoln has a weird, phoney voice and acts nothing like a seasoned politician. I wish they had done a bit more research on how people behaved during these times to give it more authenticity. Instead it feels like a mobile phone wouldn't be out of place in this setting. Also, the script feels off too. Of course it's based on a true story but the dialogues are awkward and a bit amateurish. Ouff.

Killers of the Flower Moon (2023)

Good but annoyingly long

[5/10 · 28 January 2024]

3 hours 26 minutes! Too long! An A list cast and interesting story. It's well acted, a very high-end production and well graded. BUT why or why make it sooo long? They could'vr easily made two movies out of it. It messes up the whole experience of the movie. Instead of having the potential to be a great production it just ended up being a self-indulgent vanity project. As interesting the first part of the movie was, it became endlessly boring in the second half. They should've just made a tv serious out of it, would've made a lot more sense. Reading the comments it sounds like people share my frustration. Whereas I was fully enjoying the first 1.5 - 2 hours I got bored and then annoyed how long it dragged on.

Wolf (2023)

Trust the Guardian's ratings - not

[5/10 · 1 August 2023]

This was billed as one of the best series in a long time by the Guardian. BUT I don't know what they have been watching (they seem to be off with their critics quite often) because this series is at best average. The reviews on here seem to be a lot more accurate... Weird and annoying story, unnecessarily dragged out, script that tries to be too clever while using too many clichés. Acting is ok but in parts a bit over acted. Also why do British tv series always have to be so grim and depressing! If this series was food it would be Brussel sprouts - you would never order them but once a year you kinda enjoy/tolerate them.

1883 (2021–2022)

It would've been 9 stars until the last episodes

[7/10 · 21 January 2023]

Brilliant until the end. By which I mean they lost the plot a bit in the last episode. I guess they tried to give this series an uber sad finale but they just kinda 'over-milked' it a bit towards the end. The first few episodes were amazing, almost flawless, brilliant story telling and so captivating you won't even look at your phone. What I also liked is that it all felt so believable, you were really transported into a different time. But the last episode in my opinion turned into an endless cry fest that was dragging on forever. I would've preferred a happy ending, not because I like the typical Hollywood kitsch but because after all those deaths and tragedy it would've been a bit of a relief to show a positive outcome. As I said it was a great show but I really needed a palate cleanser after watching it.

The Northman (2022)

Should've listened to the reviews here, it's quite bad

[3/10 · 23 October 2022]

First of all the good: visually it's quite well made. Beautiful scenes and you feel taken back to ancient times. And I think generally the idea of the story isn't bad. But the execution of it all is where it's failing. It started off really well but get quite confusing quickly and some parts of the story don't make any sense. It's also veeery long and boring. I kept playing with my phone and had to forward a few scenes because I was just bored. They basically overdid it. Some of it feel ms like pure self indulgence of the director. Had it been 1.5 hours long only it could've been quite a decent movie though.

The Terminal List (2022– )

Well written and filmed but questionable message

[4/10 · 5 July 2022]

First of all the story is quite well written and it's shot and produced very well. Though if anything it's a bit too dark, so dark that you sometimes can't see anything and I don't think it's just my tv. It gets 8 points for that. But I find the story and outcome very questionable in this day and age with constant shootings in the US. Do we really need more content that promotes old fashioned views of masculinity and revenge killings (though I am sure there are growing parts of the US population who would disagree - partly due to content like the above mentioned perhaps)? The story is written to make you feel sympathy for the main character and justify his actions of killing at least twice or more as many people as he is avenging. At the end of the day he's actually at least as bad or even worse than the people he killed but still portrayed as an a somewhat hero. I'm really struggling with that message. Chris Pratt is a great and likeable actor but I am surprised he's lending himself to be a bit of a poster child of violence here.

Hacks (2021– )

Glamorous, funny and highly entertaining

[10/10 · 9 April 2022]

Really hard to describe but this is what 2022 tv should be like. Really well written, very funny, brilliant actors, strong characters, witty, glitzy and glamorous. Jean Smart is fantastic and Hannah Einbinder a rising star. This show is highly entertaining from start to finish, 'woke' without being patronising and deals with some deeper issues without weighing the viewer down. Loved it!

Star Trek: Picard (2020–2023)

Unwatchable

[2/10 · 25 March 2022]

Somehow liked the first season but the second season is just unwatchable. This storyline may have worked 20 or 30 years ago but now it just feels dated and infantile. Patrick Stewart is a great actor, though he feels out of place in this series.

Secrets of Great British Castles (2015–2016)

Pop castles trivia

[3/10 · 10 March 2022]

One of the first lines ends with a sentence about things that happened in castles, like 'even murder'. I mean duh. The whole show is really missing a trick here. Instead of sharing the exciting history of magnificent British castles it's overly trivial and pointing out the obvious. I'm quite disappointed because this could've been a great show. But having been to some of these castles myself I feel like this show is only gently massaging the surface. More pop than rock.

The Book of Boba Fett (2021–2022)

Wanted to like it, but...

[4/10 · 26 February 2022]

It started off well but the story just didn't really develop. Very slow and almost pointless to watch. The final battle also felt a bit disappointing. It's a shame because I really wanted to like it.

Ghostbusters: Answer the Call (2016)

Got bored after half of the movie

[4/10 · 19 February 2022]

Works really well with women too and nice touch with the dumb male lol. But I just got bored after half the movie. It was the same old special effect laden stuff over and over again. I know it's an action movie, but at least try a little bit with a storyline.

Wrath of Man (2021)

not very satisfying to watch

[3/10 · 15 January 2022]

First of all I think Guy Ritchie should've made a TV series out of that not a movie. There is so much going on and it would've made more sense to simplify the story a little bit. The dialogues are just weird and don't really work. Even though you have plenty of star power in this movie and a visually appealing production, the acting isn't great and the storytelling feels amateurish and forced. I really like Guy Ritchie movies, like The Gentleman was one of his best. But this one feels a bit lost, rushed and unpolished in terms of the story - very much like a first edit.

Kitz (2021)

Was ok

[6/10 · 31 December 2021]

Great to have a series that's set in the stunning mountains for a change. Though the story was a bit slow and they should've really gotten at least some Austrian actors in (after all it's set in Austria), it was enjoyable to watch. It's not quite 'Elite' but refreshing take on making the alps cool.

Clickbait (2021)

Absolutely brilliant, full of twists and turns

[10/10 · 28 August 2021]

First of all the cast is amazing, such great actors, very well casted! Then the story line is just incredible, full of twists and unexpected turns.

I thoroughly enjoyed watching this series, it's the best I've seen all year. There wasn't a full moment ,I was never bored. I barely ever give 10 stars, but this one absolutely deserves it. I also love how they kinda brought our tech world to life on screen without looking tacky.

This series is also really well produced, Feels very real, yet elegantly crafted.

Hit & Run (2021)

Spoilt by the main character

[3/10 · 18 August 2021]

I don't really use this expression a lot but there is no better way to describe the main character Sergev as typical basic toxic male, who never listens to anyone and always thinks with his fists first. Only to destroy everyone else around him, just so that his massive ego can finally get revenge. Don't get me wrong, it's not such a bad series in theory but the main character just doesn't do it for me. They used the 'Fauna' series blueprint (in which 'Sergev' played the main character 'Doron') and americanised it. So tired of bulldog elephants messing up the metaphorical China shop in a series or movie with no consequences. And the women are just used without thanks and end up as collateral damage in this series, just so that Sergev can fulfil his revenge mission. I mean come on, forgetting the year we are living in?? At least bring in some depth... Think typical England football fan trashing London at the World Cup final, then you basically get an good idea of Sergev, it's just not that fun watching this stuff anymore.

Page Eight (2011 TV Movie)

What was all this about?

[3/10 · 7 June 2021]

It started kinda promising but the dialogues just didn't flow. It felt like someone tried too hard to come up with impactful dialogues and in the end it just turned into an incongruent and self indulgent mess. The actors tried hard to play along but you kinda feel they don't believe themselves delivering their lines. And I know, nowadays Boris Johnson would've created a scandal like this for breakfast, and we are in post truth times, but even back then I don't think there was enough plot for the scandal they tried to build... I felt it was all a bit pointless...

Criminal: UK (2019–2020)

Great, well crafted crime series

[8/10 · 17 September 2020]

I admit I absolutely hate these one location series and films. BUT Criminal UK is an exception. It is filmed all in one location, though It's really entertaining, suspenseful, well written and you can't but watch. Great actors as well. Big thumbs up.

The Assignment (I) (2016)

How did Sigourney Weaver say yes to this movie?

[2/10 · 30 May 2020]

This movie was so bad! Did not make any sense at all. Weird mix of genres and visuals plus Signourney Weaver's worst performance ever. The whole story, acting and makeup/special effects were implausible. The end makes you want to throw the remote at your tv screen in frustration of how bad this movie was. That's it, I won't waste more time on this.

The Last Thing He Wanted (2020)

Pointless

[4/10 · 26 April 2020]

What was all this about? Pointless story. I've been waiting the whole time for this to pick up and deliver a story but you are being left wanting. It's like ordering food that never arrives. You mouth is watering but you get more And more frustrated the longer you wait, until you finally realise someone cancelled the order for you. Could've been nice, with nice cinematography and good actors but they tried to tell too many stories at once while finishing neither of these stories.

A Most Wanted Man (2014)

Great camera, great acting but story leaves you unsatisfied

[5/10 · 19 April 2020]

When the film finally concludes you wonder 'was that it??' I think the movie got lost between looking for morale, reason and a storyline. It's like ordering a cappuccino, waiting for ages in anticipation to get served and the waiter brings you an Americano and tells you they run out of milk. I found the whole plot pointless, sorry. Yes Hoffman is a great actor (though as someone pointed out, his character wasn't much far off his real character) and the filming was great but for me this was one of those movies you regret watching.

Cheer (2020–2022)

Loved it

[10/10 · 10 March 2020]

I didn't think I would enjoy it as much as I did but then I did! I mean what's so interesting about cheerleading? Let me tell you I am a new fan! Very entertaining, full of drama, deeply human, motivating, bone-breaking and heart-warning.

Hunters (2020–2023)

Good and bad in equal measures

[5/10 · 10 March 2020]

I think it's not just the protagonists who are in a soul finding missing, it's the show itself. It's really good and entertaining in some parts, especially at the beginning. But then in other parts it drags on and on. You constantly feel the director wants to teach you a valuable life lesson but then it loses itself again. It's also confusing, you sometimes feel it's religious advertising when it takes itself too serious again and in other parts it just tries to be sarcastic but is actually just plain annoying. And all of a sudden it can be very serious and it becomes hard to watch. They should've just kept going as it started at the beginning. A Kind of Tarantino like gory killing show. Would've been more clear and entertaining. Instead they created too many layers and got lost on the way. Also, please take more elocution lessons or get different actors, it just sounded too fake. Finally, I get this is supposed to be exaggerated but I find the way they appropriated history too simplified and a bit dangerous.

Star Trek: Picard (2020–2023)

Is this going anywhere?

[2/10 · 10 March 2020]

I love Patrick Stewart but this whole series is just self indulgent and trying too hard. It's Star Trek after all, I want to see space battles, more cool sci fi stuff and much less of this sentimental Drama. This series feels like it's dragging on and on and it's just not going anywhere. I really wanted to like it but I'm giving up on it now.