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7th Street Theater (2007)
SO bad, that it's kind of good
Well, what can I say about this show... it's bad. I feel like some of the high reviews comes from the fact the show is extremely Christian-centered.
In reality, the show is just not very good. It's not so much the heavy, in-your-face gospel preaching (that is to expected from a show like this) nor the cheap look (I mean, a show like this wasn't going to get a big budget), but for several other reasons.
One, the writing and dialogue is cringe. Besides repeating the same words over and over again (Such as in "A Christian Practical Joke" where they repeatedly said 'practical joke' in just a few minutes), the attempt at humor fails (The beginning of "The Vanish of New Jersey" is unfunny but annoying). The characters throw around words "Christian", "God", and "Christ" way too much to a point is almost a parody. I know many evangelicals and while they use those words often, its nowhere near as much as they do on this show. The writing tries to invoke emotion, but it comes off as funny or dull. (Hallmark does it better, and that's not saying much).
The acting is either just okay (Jack Kelly who plays Rudy) to bad (so many chose from, but my vote goes to Shane Willimon as Travis).
Characters are not very well-rounded. In the end, the viewer will know that they are very Christian and seek out to convert people. What few backstories were get are usual underdeveloped. This could have been remedy if they showed the characters interacting outside the theater (likely not done due to budget) and with others who weren't Christian. The characters are judgmental and puritanical. Like one time the character of Rudy implied anyone who simply kissed a person before marriage is impure and immoral ('One Lucky Lady'). The characters at times label other people as sad, immoral, and in need of saving. Yes, at times some of the characters get called out for being judgmental... by others who are just as bad.
Who is the worse character in this show? Hugh McLean as Gates (AKA the Tolkien Black Guy, yes there's very little representation in this show). He was the most judgmental of all the characters. Example, he passionately hated Jamie's earrings because it made him look 'gay' and repeatedly said a heckler was the Devil. He also does a stereotypical Jamaican character for the theater.
I can keep going on, but you know what... I still enjoy the show. The low budget, bad acting, and bad dialogue and a lot of the other negatives makes for enjoyable viewing of bad media. The overly wholesome and unrealistic positive nature can be quite relaxing after binge watching darker shows like 'Squid Games'. Despite major flaws, some of the characters are likable (Jamie for one).
Some of the episodes pleasantly surprise me, such as "The Heckler". In that episode, a theater patron heckler calls out the theater for what he preserved as lies and falsehoods during a show. After the incident, the theater character think the man is bad, except for Jamie, who was compassionate towards the man (which was nice to see from a character on this show). You would think from this show after Jamie tells the heckler about Jesus and stuff, the man would have a change of heart and be saved. Nope! The heckler rejects him in the end. That threw off guard and its why this was the best episode in my opinion.
Okay, this was a long review. So in short, the show is so bad, that's good. Another reviewer gave a very similar review about how he liked the show for being bad, and that's truth.
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
Merry Christmas! NOW DIE!
Silent Night, Deadly Night is definitely a cult classic, a true representative of nearly every slasher cliché of the time. Even by today's more lose standards, it's still one sleazy flick.
The movie follows all the major slasher clichés: psycho killer dress in a mask and/or costume: check! No-point nudity/sex: check! Gore/creative killings: check! Victims who are bad, especially those having sex: check! Characters introduced, just to die 5 minutes later: check! Campy/unintentional humor: Check! This just spells cult classic.
The storyline is poor and there's plenty of poor acting, but it's filled with humorous dialog from Billy and Mother Superior ("You been very naughty!"). Also what I liked, they do try to explain why Billy goes crazy (seeing his mother & father killed by Santa, Mother Superior's religious abuse) instead of just being crazy like other slashers.
The movie also has mindless nudity and gore, but for a slasher like this, it actually adds to the campiness and levels it to cult status. I mean, you have a girl (on a cold winter day) opening the door to let the cat in with no shirt and her boobs hanging in the air...how awesome! Of course, you know she will die a minute later too. You got plenty of blood and killings...the best being the naked girl being impaled on a reindeer head. However the funniest is the decapitation of the guy on the sled.
This is a movie that's just meant to be laughed at! It's campy, it's bloody...it's plain old fun! Buy the Anchor Bay DVD, turn your brains down to low and enjoy the film.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)
Why do you have that chainsaw, Sir?
I love the original TCM, and I did like part 2 and 3. The 4th one is the worse movie ever, however, I did like the 2003 remake. So I had hope for a disturbing and entertaining sequel (or prequel), and was anxious to see how TCM: The Beginning would pan out. I wasn't disappointed with the over all outcome of the film, but it's typical with a poor storyline.
The storyline focuses on the birth of Leatherface and how he and the family became psycho cannibals. The main problem with that is, there's never a reason why Leatherface's family became murderous and cannibalistic...the town going under and them worrying about hunger and hippies cause them to got psycho in one day? It makes no sense and the actions of the characters seem bizarre without logic. Leatherface reasons is more reasonable, but the movie hardly expands on it.
Next you have the helpless victims: two brothers off to Vietnam and their girlfriends tagging along as they go cross-country. I don't know if the filmmaker were trying to ad some political over-tone in this movie with the issue of draft-dodging then having scenes such as Sheriff Hoyt beating and humiliating that draft-dodger, but it just didn't work well. However, these four characters have some personality and are likable, an important criteria in horror films.
The violence and gore is much higher than in any other TCM movie, with severed limbs, skinning, and torture. Gorehounds will be happy! I don't mind the violence at all, but it sure does go on and on, which gets boring after awhile. Then again, why complain when so much red splatters across the screen! The movie's atmosphere is dark and twisted. There's no comedy, there's a lot of shadows and darkness, and plenty of morbid images. Best of all ***MAJOR SPOILER BEGINS*** the ending is dark with no one surviving Leatherface's killing spree ***MAJOR SPOILER ENDS*** I prefer more dark movies and endings like this, but the movie is still a typical slasher, even maintaining some clichés as a killer in a mask stalks, chase, mutilates, and kills non-virgin helpless young people.
TCM: The Beginning is gory and dark with likable characters that makes it watchable, but the movie is nothing more than a slasher with a poor storyline. You won't be disappointed, but you won't be amazed either.
War of the Worlds (1988)
Aliens Gone Wild!
The 1953 "War of the Worlds" is one of my all time favorite movies, and the TV series that's inspired from it is one of my favorite shows of all times, too bad it was cut short for it had great potential. In my comment I will cover Season 1 & 2 separately and the DVD set.
Season 1: The series begins about 35 years after the movie where the aliens are resurrected by nuclear waste and set out to conquer the world. Only the Blackwood team, consisting of the free-thinking genius Harrison, the mother/scientist Susan, the tough soldier Ironhorse, and the sometimes funny wheelchair-bound Norton, must stop this from happening. While some of the acting is less than stellar(some of the acting from Harrison is over-dramatized, Drake's could have been better too along with several secondary persons, but Susan and Ironhorse acting was good) and some cheesy 80's culture make an unwanted appearance (some of the bad clothing and irritating music), the series was solid and exciting. By adding the viewpoint of the aliens it made for a more unique and interesting storytelling (some episodes are influenced by other movies like "Alien" "The Thing", and "It's Alive!") that were also well-written, though at times it did lag. All the characters are likable, even, ironically, the aliens themselves. I must note that the some violence is gory, almost R-rated, including melting bodies, eye-gorging, and limb-ripping, though I am hardly complaining on that issue. Like many fans I wished the 2nd Season continued on this pace, however...
Season 2: ***Spoiler begins*** Killing off Drake and Ironhorse was a huge mistake ***Spoiler ends*** Season 1 is practically discarded, with character's personalities altered, a new apocalyptic-"Blade Runner" setting, and even a drastically different alien invaders. The mythology and character set-up from Season 1 no longer exist in Season 2, leading to major conflicting storyline. This was a major complaint from fans, however, if you view it as a separate series, it's still very good. The aliens are giving more familiarity, the new dark world setting is interesting, and the story lines deal with some touchy issues like religion, ecological & urban decay, and the influence of music and movies on the brain. While Season 2 had some fresh ideas, it did bring the whole series on a radical altered path that turn many fans away.
On the DVD set: Season 1 has been released on DVD, which is great, though it could have been a better set. There are no extras and the picture quality is below DVD standards, though it is still very watchable and not as bad quality as some may have you believe. The missing arm animation, which irked many people, is easily forgotten. It's just great to see it out on DVD.
"War of the Worlds" the series was a fantastic short-lived show that may have helped paved way for others like "X-files". It's entertaining delight, so buy Season 1 on DVD as soon as you can!
Volcano (1997)
BURN Hollywood!
Volcano is your typical Hollywood disaster film: big-budget special effects but bad dialog and writing. However, the movies has it's ups and downs (more downs than ups though).
First the down: The one thing I didn't like the most was the "news reports" spread throughout the film. This was more annoying than useful and served no purpose as it adds nothing to the over-all story. Tommy Lee Jones is far from being a bad actor, but they way he portrays his character reminds me of the Marshall he played in The Fugitive...I was literally waiting for him to say "We are going to look for lava in every house, farmhouse, firehouse, doghouse, outhouse we can find", he just seemed out of place in this movie. Anne Hache is also misplaced as I never bought the fact she's a scientist, it just didn't work for me. Everyone in the movie has predictable and bad lines with corky humor and trying-too-hard-in-being-serious writing, especially when the movie tries to add the "message" of racial tolerance, which seemed misplaced and came from nowhere. The overall story (which is very unrealistic, but not many movies are) is lacking good characters and very few that you actually care for, along with trying too hard to make minor characters heroic that never really works nor does anyone care. Add the fact that the actress playing Jones' daughter definitely needs to find a new job doesn't help matters.
Now for the ups: The special effects are very good....not the best but the lava effects are realistic enough. The destruction of Los Angeles has never been more enjoyable with plenty of fires and explosions, though rather have seen a few more landmarks get trashed. Despite the story, writing, and acting flaws, the movie is watchable.
In the end, volcano is a rental or a viewing on the Sci-Fi channel. There are too many flaws to worth a purchase but not enough not avoid a viewing.
Doom (2005)
Mediocre Action Flick
Doom, based on the video game, has a lot of action, guns, and blood, but it's very average and unoriginal. Much of the movie's plot and tone has been seen before in numerous other space or zombie flicks, plus the monster effects are not very good. The game Doom had a plot involving Hell, but this movie deals with a virus (again, unoriginal) that turns people into zombies and monsters (though the movie does suggest the virus releases the "inward demons" inside the people), transforming the movie into an inferior Aliens rip-off. The characters are uninteresting and unoriginal, plus the story (or lack there of) is filled with mistakes (the human genome has already been mapped) and not consistent (TheRock's characters starts off as a decent guy then suddenly, with no warning, is a uncompassionate killing jerk) Having said that, the movie does offer plenty of fast-pace action, a good deal of blood and a nice FPS-mood that does add something original to an unoriginal story. This does help tilt the balance for me to a more favorable rating. 6 out of 10 stars.
Hostel (2005)
A Disturbing Horror Classic
Hostel has been unfairly criticize for being too gory and sadistic, as people ignore what the movie is trying to say on human nature. Hostel's basic tone and plot is this: the exploration of humanity's nature for finding the pleasures of life and always seeking more ways to fulfill it's cardinal sins. The three victims in the movie are all seeking pleasure through sex and drugs, but those who go to the "business" in Slovakia no longer can get fulfillment from casual sex and drug use, so they seek their pleasures in sadistic torture and blood. These people will pay large amounts of money and conduct the most horrendous acts just to fulfill their desires. In some sad way, this is so true as everyone has that deep deep desire to hurt or watch someone die, whether one tries to see if there's dead bodies after an accident or killing virtual soldiers or people in video games. To me Hostel explores this secret desire upfront in graphic details. Yes, the film is dark, yes the movie is gory and sadistic, (I was surprised it got an R rating) but so can human nature... all you need to do is watch the evening news and know it's true. It is a horror classic in the making in the likeness of Last House on the Left & The Hills Have Eyes.
House of the Dead (2003)
Please kill me now!!!
You know, I like cheesy horror movies. I can fully enjoy a mindless bloodfest on a cool night. When I saw House of the Dead, I was wishing I was dead. The writing was awful, acting was even worse (The zombies acting wasn't bad though), and the use of the Matrix style filming was over done...and done badly. Any positive at all in this movie? Well, the zombies were cool, some good nudity, and some nice bloody effects. But in the end, this is one of the worse movies I have ever seen, which turn out to be a poor excuse for a long commercial for SEGA and the House of the Dead video games.
Cabin Fever (2002)
What potiental...what a waste...
I had high hope for this movie, thinking this may be a good mix of Outbreak, 28 Days Later, and The Evil Dead. Unfortunately, a movie with good ideas just falls flat and doesn't go anywhere. When five friends stay at a cabin, they all catch some form of flesh eating virus. Some good gory goodness, along with some very interesting scenes and a few likable characters couldn't save this film that just doesn't really go anywhere with it's direction (the characters just run in circles) and the adding of characters that were both annoying (the Rednecks), forgetable, and some with no point to them (like the druggie with the dog). Along with a disappointing ending, this film could have been great but was screwed by bad writing and directing.
28 Days Later... (2002)
Finally...something good!
28 Days Later is a low-budget horror movie about a virus epidemic that turns most of the people of England (and the world) into zombie-like creatures. While not very scary, it's still a terrific movie with very likable characters who I really cared for a lot, a terrific sequence of a post-apocolyptic London (which was very effective and eerie), and great homages to the The Living Dead Trilogy. I also liked the fact that this destruction was brought upon the world due to animal rights activists. Due to some minor plot holes, this movie doesn't get a 10,,,but it still earns a strong 9!!! A must see movie.