clerk123321 Reviews

Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)

How the cuss did this movie get a rating of 8?

[3/10 · 15 March 2010]

I consider myself a movie liker. I watch lots of movies and tend to fall for the types that either bring me something new or tell a great story. I think I am open minded towards films and watch lots of 'off' type and foreign flick.

Still, I couldn't get this movie. It's a kids story which does a poor job of following Roald Dahl's great children's book. Where the book had some originality and fun, it is still for children. Making a movie out of it with an A-list of voice actors gives the impression it's not for children. And to be honest, there's not much for children to be found here. There's not a lot of good humor going around - the conversations are not at a children's level and well, the story just isn't very adventurous or appealing. For adults however, there's also nothing to be found - the humor isn't good enough to keep you entertained and the story and animation itself are ... bad. This movie just has not much going for itself, apart from the voice actors, who do a great job. Adding to insult, the script is totally different from the book and doesn't do the great author Dahl justice.

In the end, you're left with a movie that you expect to find at the Disney channel on a Sunday afternoon. And even then you'd better not watch it. To be avoided.

Chaos (II) (2005)

terrible

[2/10 · 9 January 2010]

I went to see this because of snipes / statham, but honestly, Chaos is terrible. This movie has absolutely nothing going for it - it should not have been made.

Don't read this review if you don't want to read spoilers, cause I'm going to address a lot of plot-holes here.

First of all - the opening scene. It's the great big event that made the two semi-lead characters (Statham and Snipes) turn crooked. But it's boring and mundane. Only at the very end we get to see what really happened and by the time you won't care anymore. Also - this whole event, where one bad guy and his hostage get killed is hardly big enough news to fill hundreds of newspaper articles, as referred to in the movie.

Then the bank job - it doesn't get off the ground for any second. The bank robber makes some un-needed references to chaos theory (which has NOTHING to do with the whole story, by the way). The way Statham gets summoned is very 'Die Hard With a Vengeance', but more boring. Then the things that happen in the bank are strange and pointless. -What's with the safety deposit box. There seems to be some plot unfolding there, but then, it doesn't. -Why go through the trouble of stringing up two people, when it leads to nothing? It involves a lot of preparation and it's used for nothing at all! -Why doesn't the SWAT leader listen to the officer in charge when he tells them to stand down?

And this is only the first 10 minutes. It keeps getting worse and worse.

-The whole romantic / love interest story (with the 'he wasn't just a better cop, he was a better man' remark to finish it of) is painful to watch. It's just pointless -Why would Statham's character point out the change in camera position in the footage reviewed from the bank. This essentially leads to finding the 'virus' that will get him all the money. -Why go through the trouble of forging some guys signature and killing him, but then NOT kill the guy that can identify you.

I could go on for ages (really), but it's like this movie is... pointless. The whole script is a mess. The 'smart' references to chaos theory are really laughable and quite pathetic. The plot 'twists' can be seen from miles away and the lead characters seem to be making mistakes all the time. It is really painful to watch a movie like this, where the audience is taken for granted as dumb popcorn crunching people, of which the director hopes they won't see all the plot holes and the over-all ridiculous script. The 'explanation scene' at the end only adds to insult. It is really, really not a good movie. In any way.

People who come to see an action film don't get what they come for. People who come to see a cop-buddy movie don't get it. People who come to see a smart thriller don't get that. In essence, everyone gets the same - a huge disappointment and a waste of time and money. Do yourself a favor and skip this one.

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009)

what a piece of.....

[3/10 · 28 June 2009]

this is a bad movie...it is, really!

when i was young, i liked the street fighter games. they were fun beat-m-ups and laid the groundwork for the genre. however, it's hard to see how you can make a movie out of it, cause the storyline in the game is next to non-existent. it turns out that you can't make a movie of out it.... the movie i saw had nothing to do with the street fighter game - it was just a very very bad action movie with particularly horrible acting and a very weak plot set in Thailand for some nice backgrounds (no further purpose, as far as i could tell), much like that other bad movie 'bangkok dangerous'.

so, what's wrong with the movie, will you wonder. well let me elaborate

a) the actors are bad, to say the least. Why take an American actress for Chun Li? They could have taken Zhang Ziyi for example, but no, they went for a typical American girl that can't say three words of mandarin Chinese and then give her a load of lines to say in that language... not a good choice. Neal McDonough has only one face in acting - ever seeing him as Dave Williams in Desperate Housewives has done it for me. He can't act. He can only look slightly smug, so that's all he does. Michael Clarke Duncan is a great actor, but he is reduced to a brainless thug in this flick, what a waste.... Chris Klein and someone named 'Moon Bloodgood' as detectives? Really? Are you kidding me? I could go on, but suffice to say - the acting is very bad. b) the plot is useless. nothing is explained. what does chun-li's dad do? what does he have to do for this bison character? why should we care? whats this bison guy's motives? why does he kill all his associates? why do we see that? should we care? how did gen survive an rpg explosion in his home? why didn't they just fly in the guys daughter? why do we need to get to know his daughter? again... why should we care.... c) the fighting is unbelievable and below par - you would expect that in a movie that's based on a beat'm'up, the martial arts is at least up-to-par. but it's not! oh my god, this movie is such a let down. and someone please explain me why chun-li had to finish with some fireball thing and then break the guy's neck in such a complicated manner? it just doesn't make sense.... like the whole movie...

do yourself a favor - do not see this. don't spend your time and money, you WILL be disappointed!

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)

Much much better than expected

[8/10 · 4 July 2008]

When I saw the tagline of this movie (from the people who brought you "Knocked up")I was scared... very scared... Because, I have no idea how knocked up could get such a high IMDb score and come so highly recommended. That movie is one of the worst movies I've ever seen... I was planning to skip this one until a friend told me 'unlike knocked up, forgetting sarah marshall actually IS funny'.

And he was right! Forgetting Sarah Marshall is a pretty funny romantic comedy that follows a quite standard format, but maintains to be better than the lot of them. The storyline is nice and although in some places predictable, contains enough funny and 'painfully' true moments and situations to make you laugh. You should definitely go and see it! The only big minor point about this movie is Jonah Hill's character. It's useless and not funny. He is the impersonation of knocked up trying to kill this movie... luckily he doesn't succeed!

Big thumbs up for this movie - highly recommended.

(oh and do NOT forget to never ever go and see 'knocked up' - I can't stress that enough)

Lost in Beijing (2007)

Greed brings out the worst in people....

[10/10 · 13 January 2008]

Ping Guo is a gem of a movie! I've been watching a lot of Chinese movies recently, but Ping Guo is one of the best of the bunch.

The story is about two couples intertwined due to unlucky circumstances, but most of them in their hands. During the movie, a very harsh and very real light is shed on the difference between poor and rich in modern Beijing and it will leave your mind thinking about it long after the movie is over. This is a very good thing - in my opinion movies are supposed to make you think, supposed to move you. Ping Guo did just that and is worthy of watching for everyone who isn't afraid of foreign movies and who is willing to look at something else than popcorn Hollywood.

This movie will keep you entertained for nearly two hours and will make you want for more movies of this director. And that's a very good thing!

Perhaps Love (2005)

It will strike you right at your heart...

[9/10 · 25 October 2006]

I saw this movie aboard the plane when I flew back from Beijing to Amsterdam. I saw it on a very bad small 10" (or so) screen, with crackly sound and with a lot of annoying kids around me.

Still I have not enjoyed a movie this much for quite some time. It's much -and I really mean MUCH- better than most of the stuff Hollywood chunks out and I bought it on DVD the day I got back!

For everyone who has ever felt the feeling of losing a love or having an unreachable love, this movie will be very recognizable. It greatly depicts the pain and suffering that can come from true love and although the movie isn't always as easy to follow, it will captivate you and keep you hooked right up to the end.

Apart from the wonderful story, the great backgrounds and superb acting made me an instant fan of Asian cinema. I'd seen a couple of more well known Asian films (like Il Mare for example), but this one opened my eyes entirely. I hope to see more movies like this soon and I recommend it to anyone who can appreciate a good love story!

The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

Let's be short... The worst of the three.

[1/10 · 2 May 2004]

I wanted to write a lot about this movie . But it would be a waste to do so.

Do NOT go see this movie if you didn't yet. It's got grade a bad acting, bad action sequences that do not match those found in the first movie and not even those in the second one. It's got a s***e plot and it's weird for weird sakes, which is never good in a movie that's aimed at an audience like this..... Don't go see it, it's crap.. promise me you wont ;)

Love Actually (2003)

Very good actually

[10/10 · 23 January 2004]

Yesterday my girlfriend just decided that we should go see this movie. Now i had heard of it, but vaguely to be honest. It sounded like 'just another romantic comedy'... With the loads of mediocre movies my girlfriend usually likes watching (for example stuff like the wedding planner, or freaky friday) I didnt have my hopes up high. When the movie started, I heard Hugh Grant's voice and I thought "well, this can't be all bad". And it isnt! To be honest, it's absolutely brilliant. This movie, from the same writer as four weddings and a funeral, notting hill and bridget jones' diary, is the best romantic comedy i've seen in ages. It's quite easily better than the aforementioned movies and although the general theme (being 'love' ofcourse) is oozing from the screen, the movie succeeds very well in going beyond that. You see a lot of 'could have beens' and some sorrow as well. And that's what makes it great. Instead of just showing how great love is, it also shows the downside of making wrong decissions in love (and ways to possibly solve that)... This movie is just great and i'd watch it again today, if i could.. but that's the real downside to the movie... The DVD is still so far, far away :( It's highly recommendable for everyone though, with a great cast, good writing and directing and you will leave the theatre with a smile on your face! Brilliant!

Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas (2003)

What a great ride.

[9/10 · 3 November 2003]

When I heard about this movie this summer I was eager to go and see it. Until I checked the imdb on it, that is. There weren't that many votes (so not that many people that actually went out and watched it), and upon checking the box office / business, i was disappointed to see that this movie wasn't doing too well. My thoughts at that time were 'well, so many people can't be wrong, so let's go see Finding Nemo instead'. Although I found Finding Nemo entertaining, i think it's highly overrated, but that's beside the point here. It took me untill now to go and actually watch Sinbad, and i must say that i was very pleasantly surprised. The beautiful 'camera' work thanks to the clever and high quality CGI made this picture a feast to look at. Thanks to the high paced action sequences and witty dialogue, this movie took me along for a pleasant ride. I was watching the entire movie with a smile on my face, impressed by the graphical splendor, the great voice work and the decent (but run of the mill) story. In my humble opinion the huge difference in rating between this and the formerly mentioned finding nemo is nowhere near the reality. This movie is a good movie in its own right, and if you like action packed movies as well as animated movies, you're in for something great!

Go see it - cause you probably didn't - cause it's worth viewing...