brian-a-miller84-986-809868 Reviews

The Estate (II) (2022)

A State

[2/10 · 15 January 2023]

I'm going to preface this by stating that the review I'm leaving for this garbage fire of a picture isn't a reflection on the bodies of work of the hugely talented actors, or their abilities in general.

What should have been a lot of devilish fun, as you watch a shower of the worst kind of people try to outdo undoing each other is reduced to a joyless bore. No one seems to be acting in the same movie, so the blame for how this turned out has to land squarely at writer/director Dean Craig's feet.

The dialogue is frequently moronically crass, the comedy is lacklustre and devoid of any spark, and none of the characters feel like fleshed out human beings. They're all so underwritten they feel less like caricatures, and more like unpleasant cyphers, glimmers of spectres of persona, who exist only to say dumb things in dumb situations.

The cinematography and lighting also give the film a bleached out feel more in line with overwrought drama rather than coarse black comedy, which doesn't help the incongruous feel that hampers the finished article from start to finish.

Everyone here either looks embarrassed or just incredulous that they've ended up in such an awful piece of garbage picture.

Velma (2023– )

Atricious

[2/10 · 13 January 2023]

I don't know who this garbage is aimed at, but it's certainly not any demographic I can think of.

Awful characterisation, terrible dialogue, not one joke that takes off, never mind lands. Even the animation is terrible, it actually looks unfinished, like they ran out of cash midway through and were forced to just throw this out to cover some kind of contractual obligation.

This show really had the potential to be amazing a la Harley Quinn, especially considering the calibre of some of the voice talent and production team involved, but what's actually been created is an unbearable mess of lazy writing, crass intention, and the legacy of one of animations most golden IP's left in a pile of dirt.

Doured out ten minutes of this garbage before I had to put it off. How this could have been saved from the swingeing axe at Warner Discovery, but projects like Batgirl were canned is really beyond me.

Just AWFUL. Avoid.

The Sandman (2022– )

Endless Love

[9/10 · 6 August 2022]

I'm only four episodes in, and the overall score may be adjusted once I reach the denouement, but this is sublime, spellbinding stuff. Gothic high fantasy with glorious cinematography and chocolate box art and set direction are matched by a perfectly cast ensemble cast who are clearly relishing the opportunity to relay a truly immersive, expertly crafted yarn, which is allowed ample time to unspool luxuriantly across the screen.

This superior adaptation is an absolute treat, and a welcome antidote to the saccharine brio of the identikit Marvel nonsense that currently clogs up the cosmic record.

Please ignore the cardboard critics/keyboard warriors who clearly lack the intellectual capacity to watch anything other than wonderbread milquetoasts ham act their way through yet another retread of the same old weary tropes.

Netflix/DC/WB and Gaiman have pulled it out the bag and given the world something spectacular to enjoy when we need it the most. Definitely up there with the similarly fantastic Sweet Tooth. I just hope it survives the reaping Zaslav is currently perpetrating on the studio!

Ambulance (2022)

Phone me a wambulance.

[4/10 · 31 March 2022]

Or how Michael Bay just needs to stop.

Awful dialogue? Check!

Mismatched leads? Check!

Incongruous plotting? Check!

Jarring lurches from the saccharine to the sadistic? Check!

Tasteless and knuckle biting box checking? Check!

Godawful needle drops straight from the supermarket check out bargain bin? Check!

Just because you can doesn't mean you should Mr Bay. Give it up chief.

Some of the camera work is set and props to the stunt performers and co-ordinators, but any movie that has Jake Gyllenhall in it, and then not only sucks this hard, but makes him come off like a Dollar Tree Nic Cage needs to go in the fire. Pure pish.

Onward (I) (2020)

Magical Mystery Tour

[8/10 · 3 March 2020]

Set in a realm where mystical creatures have swapped the magical for the mechanical and mundane, Onward tells the story of two elf brothers, who, after a botched attempt to bring their dead father back to life, end up on a quest to complete the spell and spend one final perfect day in the company of a man they never really knew.

While the animation may not feature sequences as utterly jaw dropping as in Coco, Zootopia, or even the recent Frozen 2,what it lacks in the retina scorching department, it certainly makes up for in feels and pure goofball humour.

Essentially a road trip/odd couple/chase movie, Onward's strength lies in how the central relationship between the older, brasher, RPG obsessed Barley and the younger, introverted, nerdier Ian plays out.

There are some killer lines, awesome visual gags, and fairly amusing side plots featuring characters as memorable as any in Pixar's greatest hits (The Manticore, I'm looking at you kid). The emotional coda in the last ten minutes also had me weeping, although that may be more to do with my complicated family history than anything else. Or I had all the things in both my eyes. Potatoes/Potatoes.

Overall, it's a big, bright and breezy rollicker, and whilst not as polished as other recent offerings from the Haus of Maus animation arm, its zany conceit and chemistry poppin' central pairing helps keep things upbeat and interesting throughout. I give it an artful 8/10.

Color Out of Space (2019)

LaCage Goes Tonto In Magenta

[7/10 · 26 February 2020]

From the production team behind Mandy, and eccentric director Richard Stanley, comes this wilfully obtuse, psyche melting adaptation of the Lovecraft story of the same name.

Starring Nic Cage and Joely Richardson as a couple struggling to adjust to rural life with their three kids, their lives are irrevocably shattered when a strange magenta object comes crashing on to their land and starts causing all sorts of metaphysical mayhem.

Melding existential dread with a highly mannered sense of characterisation, helped along by DOP Steve Annis' avant garde, oversaturated visuals; the gnawing tensions build until they reach a grand guilnolesque crescendo of extreme body horror and some of the most gonzo, out there acting La Cage has committed to film in his career.

Yes, there aren't many traditional narrative beats to hang your dropped jaw from, and the fast/loose approach to both story and performance may prove tedious to cineastes more suited to less experimental yarns.

However; as an audacious and fiercely individual interpretation of the source material, Stanley and Cage pull no punches and have created one of the most memorable and strikingly vivid genre pieces of the new decade.

Definitely one for your inner B-movie lover to get involved with...

X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019)

X-ECRABLE NONSENSE

[4/10 · 5 June 2019]

At the turn of the millennium, Fox breathed new life into a genre that was both laughable and moribund. As we head into the third decade of that millennium, they unleash a movie so thuddingly mediocre it almost sets the genre back twenty years.

It isn't the first time Fox have fudged a franchise closer - or the much beloved 'Dark Phoenix' arc. One has to only recall the deservedly maligned 'Last Stand' to understand just how wrong this studio can get it when it comes to everyone's favourite mutants, or the story of Jean Grey's terrifying ascent to being the most powerful being on the planet.

Yes; there's bombast. Of course, there's retina scorching VFX. Hell, there's even a slight sense of fun in the loopy first act. It's just such a shame that there is literally nothing else going for it.

The screenplay is truly awful, with a mangled, nonsensical plot, and knuckle-gnawingly awful dialogue. While superhero fayre isn't exactly known for its innate sense of verité, the story feels cobbled together from a couple of whisky soaked poolside 'brainstorming sessions' by a couple of developmentally challenged teenagers, and the discourse throughout is nothing more than moronic, exposition laden gobbledegook.

Then there's the acting, which at best is wooden and 'phoned in, at worst is hammier than a bacon sandwich in a pigsty. Quite how it's possible to completely waste the combined talents of McAvoy, Fassbender, Lawrence, Hoult, Chastain, Peters, Reade, et al is beyond me, but sadly this is one of the few things this dog's dinner of a picture manages with aplomb.

All of these sow's ears are stitched together in cackhanded fashion by Simon Kinsberg. While the first act, and a few subsequent action scenes zip along quite nicely, there is a disjointed feel to everything from the get go. The final act is truly abysmal, as anti-climactic as it is bodged. One shudders to think of the resources gobbled up as a result of the extensive reshoots that kept the movie from screens so long. Whether the reshoots or the director's efforts are what cause the denouement to feel so deflatory are a matter for debate, but they certainly couldn't have helped in the slightest.

Overall, there is almost nothing to recommend this sad state of affairs to anyone other than Marvel completists and masochists. It's so utterly sad that a franchise which began so blisteringly with X-Men and it's follow up, and was reborn with such panache in First Class is now more likely to be remembered for such garbage as DoFP, Apocalypse and now this dire, barrel scraping, migraine inducing nonsense. (4.5)

Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)

KAIJU CLOBBERIN' TIME

[7/10 · 30 May 2019]

Legendary's Monsterverse continues apace with this rip-roaring, visually breathtaking entry to the saga.

Picking up some five years after Godzilla '14, and nearly 50 years after the events of Skull Island, GKIM amplifies the monster mashing by introducing some of Toho's most beloved characters, and letting them loose on a whirlwind global tour of destruction. However, it soon becomes clear that the people meant to be protecting both humanity and the 'Titans' may have an ulterior agenda, and it's up to those who discover their manipulations to thwart their plans and give all life on earth a fighting chance.

While a fair bit of the screenplay doesn't stand up to intense scrutiny, and some character decisions/plot points make absolutely zero sense, I still found it be a lot less convoluted than the 2014 redux, and a hell of a lot more coherent than the 70's set prequel. Once more, the screenwriters have a fair bit to say about the effects of the anthropocene on the planet, and while this is far more broadly laboured than in either of the first two movies, in this era of climate emergency and environmental crisis, it feels right that this message is as subtle as a 100ft behemoth crashing through a high rise.

The human performances, for the most part are fine, and while the characters can feel thinly sketched, and very fine actors like Hawkins and Watanabe feel slightly wasted in underwritten roles, Oscar worthy turns aren't really the reason why people are going to see this movie.

At the end of the day, it's all about the Titans going toe to toe, and on that level GKIM works magnificently. The cinematography and production design is superb, and the CGI really pushes the boundaries of what is possible within the genre. Each of the Titans felt like a rounded, individual entity, with true personality coming through in each interaction. Shot after shot left me truly gobsmacked, and unlike more corporate product released so far this year, GKIM really has a style and aesthetic which stands out amongst so many forgettable effects laden epics. Big props to the sound design team are due as well, some of the unearthly cacophonies unleashed by these beasts are truly terrifying.

Overall, while GKIM doesn't reinvent the wheel when it comes to either the creature feature or disaster genre, it does do spectacular service to both tropes. If you're willing to check your brain in at the box office and go along for the bonkers ride, you may just find yourself having a hell of a lot of fun watching Big Atom Breath and his Gigantic Chums tear shreds off of Mother Earth. I know I did. (7.5)

The Last Exorcism (2010)

Not Too Shabby

[5/10 · 25 February 2011]

**SPOILER ALERT** Having been a fan of the mockumentary horror genre since The Last Broadcast and The Blair Witch Project seared into my subconscious and scarred my psyche in the late 90's, I must say I was full of anticipation for this entry to the genre.

Using the premise of a film crew following a jaded southern minister, a role ably handled by Patrick Fabian, as he takes on one last phony exorcism for a backwoods Louisiana teenager who may or may not be possessed by a demon.

What really makes the first half of this movie is how it slowly creeps under your skin, throwing in just the right amount of ambiguity amongst the admittedly well worn horror clichés, helped enormously by the refreshingly natural performances from Fabian, Ashley Bell and Louis Herthum. The set up of the charlatan preacher showing the audience the tricks of his trade helps to really lull you into a false sense of security before the proverbial really starts to hit the fan.

The second half of the movie is much more overt in style and tone, and I must say that suspending my disbelief as the film reached its crescendo became increasingly difficult due to the use of unnecessary music and a more rehearsed ambiance. It's this clash and the almost operatic end sequences that ultimately stops the film maximising its potential and really delivering a satisfying pay off. You'd be forgiven for thinking the producers ran out of time so decided to opt for a 'Best of Horror' Mash Up Mix to top it all off and hope no-one would notice. What would be far more effective is if the film had reached the same conclusion in a much subtler fashion.

All in all, not one of the all time horror greats, but certainly not the worst e.g. The Reaping. Rent; don't Buy.