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The Walking Dead: The Other Side (2017)
Worst ever! As in, ever ever!
So here's the plan. We've got a huge viewing audience so let's throw them a dodge ball. Let's focus on the two most annoying characters and then...do nothing.
What an absolute snooze-fest. There's enough (actually, too much) good TV out there to not to allow this crap to happen. Worst...episode...ever. TWD just dropped a few bars on my to-watch list. I could give two elephant craps about anything that happened this episode. I wouldn't mind a Paypal deposit in the amount of $23.50 for the 47 minutes (give or take) of my time in hindsight. I got a workout from pounding my pillow in rage/boredom, so minus the "gym" fee I'll take $15.
How annoying!
Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016)
Milla's Retirement money...I suppose
I almost always check IMDb before I watch something. My time is valuable. I have 3 kids, work pretty much 7 days/week, and there's enough great TV and movie options out there to pick and choose how I spend my RARE free time. Lately, it seems the studios are hiring henchmen to flood the reviews and ratings with inflated numbers. I don't particularly like the Rotten Tomatoes system, but might have to start looking into it.
Boy, was this one a mistake.
I enjoy the popcorny-style Resident Evil flicks. Much like the Underworld franchise, I know what I'm getting into. A reliably safe bet that your 90 minutes will not bring you to Enlightenment, but you'll be entertained.
Boy, did Paul W(asted) S(pace) Anderson put a stop to that. I know the editing software Final Cut Pro inside and out, and I'm pretty sure my MacBook would interrupt me if I did it the Anderson way and say, "Um, you might be going a little overboard here...and here...and there, too...".
What a dizzying sh*tshow. All I could think about was how each of those 5 millisecond cuts cost the studio money with no reward to the viewer. I'm writing this review as the movie is still playing and every time I look up some shaky, nonsensical action scene is taking place. As other reviewers put it, it is a Masterclass in how not to edit.
Milla and the Game of Thrones dude did their best. They were probably skiing when Paul and his henchmen were in the editing room, though...and would have purposely ran into sharp-branched trees if they knew what he was up to. So sad.
How can you have 5 quick edits in a 2 second scene where someone is barely doing anything? After the first 15 minutes, the editing is all you can think about. You obsess on it. You loathe it.
Take the money and run, Milla. You played it smart...grab a franchise and run with it, they say. It's a shame this last one played out like a bad TV movie, though.
Oh, and there are literally a bazillion plot holes between this movie and the others. Nobody chaperoned this script or the guys running the show at all. Really quite fascinating.
If this review saves one person 90 minutes they could never get back, then Hallelujah.
Captain Fantastic (2016)
The Power of a Good Story
Films like "Captain Fantastic" are as rare as hens teeth these days.
Sure, it"s a warming story that tackles, in a subliminally enough way not to make your eyes roll, different points of view on religion, mental health, parenting and societal priorities; what makes "Captain Fantastic" stand out, however, is that it is a collaboration of artists who appear to hold the same fierce passion for the project. This is a necessary recipe for an independent film to really break out, much like "Whiplash", "Juno" and a few others have done. The acting, music, writing and directing were all on point.
It's actually surprising these days to find yourself invested in a movie's characters. With all the fluff of CGI and frantic editing, the emphasis on "entertainment" almost always casts a dull shadow over the story. In this film, you genuinely dislike the antagonists and share the roller-coaster emotions of the protagonists.
There are plenty of plot synopsis' available, so I won't bother. I will say that the stark contrasts of an open-dialogue, intimate parent-child relationship and one of an X- Box-babysitting, sheltered one was really fine-tuned here. I actually grunted out loud in disgust several times during the interactions between the "town" kids and the "wild" ones, when in truth we all lean heavily towards the friction-less and soulless parenting style of the former.
I was also teary-eyed a few times, which has been such a rare movie-going experience lately that I almost blurted out, in The Grinch's words, "I'm leaking!"
I think it's really important to support films like these...to shout from the roof-tops (or simply write a few sentences online) and remind the industry to get back to story-telling the way it should be. "Hunt for the Wilderpeople" held promise but fell a bit flat. "Captain Fantastic" nailed it.
Fury (2014)
C'mon Guys! Exhillarating!
This isn't so much a review as it is an answer to the many war aficionados that took the time to write negative reviews, most making a point of bragging they know the German word for 'Bazooka'.
'Fury'is a must-see for this lazy, advantage-laden generation that for over half a century haven't given a second thought to being REQUIRED to go to war. Real war...no drones, very little air support at all, actually...where gruesomeness and the very worst of humanity must surface for the greater good.
I was born exactly 30 years after this war ended, but, Hollywood antics aside, see the dark side that so many had to face in this movie. You dimwits that are picking this movie apart because of plausibility improbabilities need to put down your Guns & Ammo magazines, move out of your Mom's basement bedroom, and grow even a grape-sized pair before picking apart this film.
Excellent cinematography, excellent acting, and EXCELLENT Clichés. Lest we forget, dimwits. I saw through the Hollywood, sure...but I saw the horror and absolute destruction of the people's very souls unfold before my eyes, and that's what we need to see. NEED to see.
Good job, Brad..bye the way. Shia, Jon and Logan, too. I've watched so many crappy movies lately that I find it hard to believe someone would give this two stars because the SS had so many 'Panzerfuasts'(Bazookas, for all us meat-head non-Guns & Ammo subscribers) and couldn't hit the tank. Bravo, I say. I wouldn't want to leave my crappy paying job to do it, that's for sure!