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Immaculate (2024)
Holy Humdrum Horror
Immaculate failed to captivate me. It presented a generic and formulaic viewing experience. The screenplay lacked any flair that could've made the movie memorable. The acting was passable, but not good enough to transcend the movie from its mediocrity. The film's saving grace was its aesthetic set design, which was stunning and had character, but ultimately they didn't do much with it. The cinematography was unremarkable, stuck to the basics, and did not explore things like unique use of lighting, which made the movie kind of flat looking. I also liked the inclusion of the Italian language, which added an authentic touch to the narrative. However, a more inventive approach to visual storytelling could have made the overall experience better.
A Talking Pony!?! (2013)
WHERE IS THE PONY???
In a cinematic universe where titles should be a compass to the plot, this movie gallops off in the wrong direction. The title teases a pony, yet all we get is a horse - and not even the same horse that graces the poster. This horse's acting is as consistent as its hairstyles, braided one moment, plain the next, as if it can't decide on its look (beautiful horse tho, i hope they paid it well). The horse footage is as awkwardly shot as a foal's first steps, leaving me wondering whether the horse is even part of the same story. And let's talk horse etiquette - or the lack thereof (already covered in another user's review) and the lack of affection towards the main actress. The actors? Bless them, they're giving it their all, but they're saddled with a script that's better suited for a short animation.
In short, 'A Talking Pony?!?' is a cinematic trot that should've been a gallop - or better yet, not left the stable.
The Last Thing He Told Me (2023)
Entertaining, but nothing special
Normally i don't review shows until they are over (at episode 6 right now, and season 1 has not yet concluded), but there are so many bad reviews here that i feel like i have to chime in.
Is this the best show ever? Nah. Are the characters interesting? Meh. Is it an original story? Not really. Is it a strong script? Also no... but the show itself is entertaining enough for me to want to keep watching it. The acting performances are good, and the actors work with the sometimes somewhat shallow lines they are given. I also don't feel like the show is slow-paced?? Who said that?? People in the reviews here keep overthinking what certain characters do in this show "omg i would NEVER do that. That's so dumb!!!". Dude, just... stop please. We aren't watching YOUR story, we are watching someone else's story. What you would do in certain situations does not matter.
I also don't understand why everyone says that teenager is whiny... have these people ever encountered a moody teenager? They can 100% be like this, especially ones with parental issues.
Anyways, entertaining show that offers nothing new. I would normally give it a 6.5 and raised it to a 7 instead of a 6 because of all the weirdly bad reviews this is getting.
Love on the Slopes (2018)
why would you watch this?
Girl has a boyfriend. Writers try very hard to make him unlikeable but how could he be? She chose to be with him, and it seems like she was okay with the relationship, until she met this dreamy guy who doesn't exist. I'm pretty sure she is schizo or something and this all plays out in her head. Anyways, movie felt like any hallmark movie. Nothing special, no big reveal, boring cinematography. Nothing special at all. Acting was funny at times but obviously unintentionally. Would not recommend unless you try to watch something mind-numbing that you want to get drunk to or something. 2/10.
Wrong Turn (2021)
not wrong turn and not good either
If you want to watch this movie because you think it is a wrong turn remake: it is not.
If you want to watch this movie because you want to watch a thrilling and entertaining horror movie: it is not.