Awful. The actors are leaden and wooden, the relationships are cliche and painful to watch, and the "hero" is unlikeable. The only redeeming person is Jocko, who is a cliche. Samantha deserved better; she was the only other person in this movie that I thought was decent. And what's up with that ending? Spoiler-you will scratch your head when it's over, wondering "What the hell did I just spend the last 12 hrs watching?" Oh, it's not 12 hours long? Just felt like it. Two wine glasses down.
Reviews
3 Reviews
Pledge This!
(2006)
OMG...this is the WORST MOVIE EVER.
12 February 2011
I wish I could give this a negative 10. This was the worst waste of time ever. I want to sue the writers for an hour of my life that I will never get back. What's so bad about it? Where to begin-the ridiculous attempts at comedy, the absolutely evil mean bitches in this POS, the completely hateful protagonists...I don't think this is a spoiler by saying Paris Hilton is a HORRIBLE actress and an even worse narrator. The men in this movie are pathetic and contemptible. One longs for Freddy Krueger to come crashing through the sets and start cleaning house--like some avenging angel of justice, setting the scales straight in the direction of real life. The writers have the lion's share of blame for this atrocity. The Paris character should have been held up for the ridicule that she is held in by the rest of the world. Where are the drug jokes? Where are the porn flick jokes? Why didn't they write in a scene where drugs fell out of her purse and she claims they aren't hers? But we all know the writers are just the pawns of the producers and unable to accurately portray the Paris we all know and hate. Well, EFF YOU, Paris. You are a carbuncle on the anus of the world.
Detenute violente
(1984)
Hm...was it deliberately bad or was it chopped from something else
10 December 2010
Warning: Spoilers
I am extremely easily entertained; I have a very low laugh threshold & am prone to inappropriate hilarity when least suitable. That said, I got a kick out of this paean to horrible movie making, and gave it a 6 because I really ROFL'ed several times.
I put "spoiler alert" for the funniest line of the film - the awful degenerate governor is forcing himself on his disabled wife's caretaker, and after stripping her naked and pushing her on the couch, announces, "I feel like some muff-diving!" He then dives in, head-first-for about a second; then rares back up and goes at her like a rabbit having an epileptic seizure.
We were trying to figure out-could this have actually been a halfway decent hard-core porn movie that was chopped up as though a Benihana cook was on a mad spree? I'm trying to find out more info about it. I will have to revise my opinion if it was actually MADE this bad.
I like porn as much as the next person, but the girl-on-girl action was WEIRD by today's standards. It seemed to consist of the girls simulating intercourse on each other, and writhing in mock ecstasy as the other partner rubbed her mouth over the girl's torso. LOL Not the most erogenous of zones (although I am ticklish, maybe they were too.) There were no toys, no simulated oral sex, and they would not touch tongues (although there was a lot of open mouth kissing and strange noises being made.)
I guess this being a prison, such luxuries as toys would have been hard to come by-but you'd think the sadistic warden would have been able to afford one. Whoa. Maybe she REALLY HATED "Man-Junk" in all its forms.
If you're mildly drunk, easily amused, and have a penchant for strange movies with horrible music and more plot twists than a lab rat maze- here's the flick for you!
PS-if this REALLY was what they meant to produce-I drop my rating to a 3. It was still funny, though! ;-)
I put "spoiler alert" for the funniest line of the film - the awful degenerate governor is forcing himself on his disabled wife's caretaker, and after stripping her naked and pushing her on the couch, announces, "I feel like some muff-diving!" He then dives in, head-first-for about a second; then rares back up and goes at her like a rabbit having an epileptic seizure.
We were trying to figure out-could this have actually been a halfway decent hard-core porn movie that was chopped up as though a Benihana cook was on a mad spree? I'm trying to find out more info about it. I will have to revise my opinion if it was actually MADE this bad.
I like porn as much as the next person, but the girl-on-girl action was WEIRD by today's standards. It seemed to consist of the girls simulating intercourse on each other, and writhing in mock ecstasy as the other partner rubbed her mouth over the girl's torso. LOL Not the most erogenous of zones (although I am ticklish, maybe they were too.) There were no toys, no simulated oral sex, and they would not touch tongues (although there was a lot of open mouth kissing and strange noises being made.)
I guess this being a prison, such luxuries as toys would have been hard to come by-but you'd think the sadistic warden would have been able to afford one. Whoa. Maybe she REALLY HATED "Man-Junk" in all its forms.
If you're mildly drunk, easily amused, and have a penchant for strange movies with horrible music and more plot twists than a lab rat maze- here's the flick for you!
PS-if this REALLY was what they meant to produce-I drop my rating to a 3. It was still funny, though! ;-)
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