Change Your Image
L_Ron_Hagar
Reviews
Even Hitler Had a Girlfriend (1992)
Fast-forward through the boobs; stay for the loser
There are so many great scenes in this movie. The drama that is the rise-and-fall of Marcus Templeton is engaging and believable; Andren Scott hits the nail on the head as the archetype of the good-natured, clueless, pathetic sap. Like Homer Simpson and George Costanza, everyone knows a Marcus, and will probably recognize a little bit of Marcus in themselves.
I can honestly say that this movie has some of the best tragically comic, pathetically poignant one-liners of any movie: "Can I at least touch your breasts? Well can I at least see them for a minute? Would you like to go home now?"
It's unfortunate then, that the bad scenes (i.e. the "sexy stripper" scenes) are so prolific and long. You will ask yourself "were hot girls really that lame and homely in the late eighties?" These seemingly never-ending, awkward strip teases will have the whole room uncomfortable, and the god-awful, noodle-doodle electric guitar accompaniment will serve to heighten the pain.
But then again, that's what the remote control is for...
Sorority House Vampires (1998)
All the boobs in the world couldn't keep this wreck afloat
The audio quality is so bad on this "movie" that you can hear only half the dialog. The other half is so awkward and awkwardly delivered that unless you were personally involved in the production, you would never be able to extract the plot summary from watching it. Video tape that converts girls to vampires? Evil vampire leader? Women enslaved as mutant breeders? Sounds great! That was *this* movie?!
Sorority House Vampires has all the coherence, production value, and acting prowess of an 80s porn tape. If you're interested in that level of quality in non-pornographic entertainment as well, you may well enjoy this movie. But I'm a fan of B horror movies and any movie that shows boobs, and I couldn't even ride this one through the finish line.