eweerstra Reviews

Reclaim (2014)

Reclaim 2.5 hrs of your life, don't watch this

[1/10 · 18 April 2020]

Don't waste your time and listen to those who gave 1 and 2 stars. They know what they're talking about. The 8s,9, and 10s are the people you see in "People of Walmart" photos on FB. They're idiots. Anyone who thinks this is a commentary on child trafficking are trying to be ironic. Thet obviously don't know their ass from a hole in the ground. Taken did it 1000 times better. If I can save one person for wasting ONE HUNDRED & FIFTY MINUTES, or 2 and a half hours of their life, I have done my duty for humanity that day. I've never hated a movie so much that I wrote 2 reviews, but this one did.

Rogue (2007)

Total crapfest

[2/10 · 25 September 2019]

\ Pretty much everyone deserved to die for making me watch this show. Well, except for Rhada. Her character was mostly worthless, except for....I got nothing. Creepy camera guy should've gotten eaten first. The lady who suggested sacrificing the dog DEFINITELY needed to be sacrificed.

Quarantine (2008)

Am I the only one wishing everyone died?

[3/10 · 12 April 2019]

I saw this when it first came put on video. I was mildly used and became enamored with JC. (I loved her in Dexter.) 10 years later, I'm supremely annoyed at this crap fest. I began rooting for the virus to infect everyone. So many senseless deaths could've been avoided that when each attack occurred I felt they deserved it for being so stupid. Never having seen Rec, I did not get the crazy person in the attack reference. Looking at how they portrayed this person, it seems contrived and rather senseless.

San Andreas (2015)

Total crapfest

[2/10 · 10 March 2019]

I would've given it a 3 until the cheesy kiss between the older English boy and the daughter. Or maybe if the 2 guys tag teamed her. Other than that, this was an exercise in boredom and every other disaster movie cliche. Utterly ridiculous premise and no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I want those 2 hours of my life back

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell (2009)

Wow! Bitter much?

[7/10 · 23 September 2018]

This movie is funny af! Some ppl got their sense of humor shot off in the war. So what if it's misogynistic? Sometimes single guys need those type of movies.

Hair Brained (2013)

Quirky, nerdy, cool

[8/10 · 23 September 2018]

This was very entertaining. The low marks from other reviewers are too picky. In a sea of remakes, reboots, prequels and sequels, this stands out as this generations Rushmore. As for laughs, the best one was when the kid hit his head in the match and an injury time out was called.

Johnson County War (2002– )

Total crapfest

[2/10 · 9 September 2018]

I'm 6 minutes in and just before the acting couldn't get any worse, in walks Luke Perry. Life is too short to watch crappy movies. I'm not sticking around long enough to give spoilers. Time to change the channel

2012 (I) (2009)

piece of crap

[1/10 · 20 March 2010]

this movie deserves a raspberry if I have ever seen one. OMG I cant even describe how much i hated this piece of crap film. Who are you John Cusack, and what have you done with the real John Cusack? Thank God I didn't pay $10 bucks to see this piece of crap in this theaters. I would rather watch Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus on ScyFi than this garbage. (My apologies to my cousin Mark Hengst who appeared in that shining example of cinematic excellence starring Debbie Gibson and Lorenzo Lameass. WTF Hollywood. I almost hope a giant earthquake does swallow up that stupid town if that is the kind of crappy movies they put out these days.