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Swamp Zombies!!! (2005)
Oh deary, deary me.
One of the drawbacks to being a zomgeek is it turns you into a celluloid male-whore i.e. you'll have a do at just about anything 'morte vivente'. 2 hours long? Did I fall asleep watching this & wake up only for the last half-hour or something as I can't recall anything prior to that being of interest (heterosexual male, I'd like to point out). I viewed in stunned disbelief (which eventually turned into mild amusement) at the poor sound, camera-work & acting - this film succeeds in making The Wickeds & even The Stink Of Flesh seem better upon reflection (although not Nazi Zombies/Maplewoods & Platoon Of The Dead:nothing beats those two when it comes to being REAL turkeys). If you're looking for a "few beers & a laugh"-type of bad film, then this might just do, but if I were totally honest I'd advise you to watch Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things instead for awesomely bad 'car-crash' zombie viewing.
Forever Dead (2007)
Oh noooo not ANOTHER one
I'm actually viewing the film for the first time as I write this, which you may consider a bit unfair as it might get better in the 36 mins left to go...but then again, I didn't exactly look at the time remaining because I'm enjoying it. I bought this in a triple-pack with Swamp Zombies & Stiff Odds (not a good idea to call it 'The Zombie Chronicles', distributors Brain Damage Films, as the 2001 release of the same name has a really BAD reputation amongst zomgeeks...) as a friend recommended Swamp Zombies to me (& if this was FaceBook I'd seriously consider unFRIENDing the person who did so). Having sat through Swamp Zombies I thought lo-to-no-budget zomflix had scraped the bottom of the barrel - until I started watching this turkey. I'd like to point out that I've never even held a camcorder but reckon my elderly neighbour with Parkinson's could have made a better job of filming this. Should come with anti-depressants included in the case. AVOID.
Starcrash (1978)
A Must-See!
This film has to be seen to be (dis-)believed. I watched a lot of these EuroSF as a child in the 70s & a teen in the 80s, but not with rose-tinted glasses: they were a hoot (& still are)! Sadly/fortunately (delete as you feel applicable), I was unable to catch Starcrash when it made the rounds of the cinemas, although I did watch several others (The Humanoid, etc.) & many more on video (the UK at the time had 3 TV channels that had midnight-ish closedowns at best, the Atari 2600 had just come out, & satellite TV wasn't even up & running yet). The main reason that B-movies did so well on video was due to the fact that the major studios were unwilling to release their products to a medium that could be pirated with relative ease (or so they said...) - as a result of this 'policy' I ended up watching Luigi Cozzi's Contamination long before I ever had a chance to see the film that Cozzi was ripping-off I MEAN, "inspired by": Alien. If you like watching SF films where the SFX should be prefaced by the words Not Very, where familiar faces (Christopher Plummer in the case of Starcrash) seem to turn up, do the lines & then take the money & run, then give this a try - but be warned: this film makes Battle Beyond The Stars look like Avatar in comparison.
Platoon of the Dead (2009)
Don't waste your time...
I have loved zombie films for over 30 yrs but this p.o.s. took 5 sittings to get through. I've seen some bad ones over the years but this one takes the prize as the 'Worst Movie I Own' (& that's saying something for a collection that includes several Jess Franco films & 1986's Raiders Of The Living Dead). I kept hoping that it would become so bad as to become kind of funny...but no such luck (I should have realised how bad this film was gonna be when I found myself checking the running time remaining only 8 minutes in). There's no need for a Spoiler Alert - you'll want to forget this film while you're actually watching it, never mind later. Avoid like an open barrel of 245-Trioxin.