lase-protect Reviews

Archipelago (2010)

Sublime

[10/10 · 8 February 2012]

... I mean, really sublime.

I rated this film ten some time ago.

I've only now noticed the film on 5 stars and thought I'd have a look at the reviews. I read a good deal of them, and chuckled at some.

It's stated many times by reviewers that this family is 'middle class'. I think these people have a poor understanding of the class structure in Great Britain. This family is middle-upper class, possibly even higher. But then, Southern England is a bit softer centred than the North.

I can't help suspecting that the lower reviews come from viewers who'd like nothing better than a film constructed similarly to the Die Hard Trilogy.

It's mentioned many times about annoying locked-off cameras. Is it that cameras must always be on a trolley to prevent static shots. It's a cliché. The choices for static shots are excellent ones and they serve the purposes of the story perfectly.

The actors also receive some knocks. I think their abilities are being underestimated somewhat.

There are massive holes throughout the film allowing for your imagination to pull it and all possibilities to bits. It requires considerable thought this film. There's a lot left open for you to do the work - This is progressive directing. Give just enough detail for the audience to ponder the hundreds of angles and possibilities.

I really can't understand the gripe. I watched this film and melted. If the truth be known I've watched, watched, watched and rewatched it. Superb piece of film making.

The Astronaut's Wife (1999)

Very Poor

[3/10 · 26 August 2011]

26 / 100 (on first view) People seem to hold Jonny Depp in overly high regard. I can't unfortunately. I'm not denying he's a good actor, but people generally talk about him like if he's in something, it's brilliant. This is a good example.

I rated this 26 on first view, that usually means I'm even more critical on second viewing, but I doubt there'll be a second time for this.

It's everything I hate about the human subconscious really. This desire to be scared in a safe manor in the comfort of a cinema seat with a box of toffee popcorn and a car waiting in the car park to get one safely home. This nurturing of the Thanatos Complex.

I missed the first half hour but this might have been a good thing. The female actor who's name I've no wish to know was perfect for a film of this calibre / genre. Perfect as in appalling, like the genre. I can imagine it was marketed as a thriller but it's trying to be a horror so I'd label it a horror and leave it on those shelves. A sci-fi horror. (If I'd have seen that I wouldn't have bothered watching it) It was off to a head start within the first five minutes and had me thinking "see this is good, straight away it's got me thinking, what happened in space" of course you never get to see really. But gradually the optimism faded.

I can't help but see the parallels between what happens In this film and anti-natal depression and wonder if that's what this films really all about. I've experienced post-natal depression and the similarities portrayed in the film were harrowing, albeit with some 'far-out' story-lines to keep the film deceptive.

I wouldn't have reviewed this, but wanted to see if anyone else had spotted this sub-plot. Maybe I'm imagining it.

It could have been superb I think.

Girl with a Pearl Earring (2003)

Visually Captivating

[9/10 · 19 August 2011]

On first view 94/100.

I usually avoid anything with Scarlet Johansen (sp?). I find her to choose some very poor films with which to be a part of, but I'm glad I gave this 5 minutes. I'm sure it's the only film in which she top-bills that I've watched completely.

Very authentic. Britain really does produce some fantastic period dramas. I'm a great fan of John Hawksworth's Sherlock Holmes with Jeremy Brett for it's depth, length and authenticity (bearing in mind however that it was produced for television), 'The Girl With A Pearl Ear-Ring' is probably more believable.

The director has done a superb job of capturing the constant underlying class taboo that was prevalent in an environment where servants were employed, and the story was portrayed brilliantly by a wealth of superb actors. John Wilkinson for instance I become more fond of each time I come across him, a masterful portrayal in this as always frankly. Really nobody lets any scenes down at all in this film. Also noticed some well placed lesser known actors and actresses from other works, all of whom were a welcome choice.

Camera work is excellent. Initially I was put off by some of the slightly altered contrast levels during some shots but on hindsight these add to the cold winter ambiance it's all lovely. The house is shot in such a way that release from the confines of it's walls into the outside world is rare, adding to the claustrophobic nature of both the lives of the characters, the environment in which they live and work and the uncomfortable situation gradually unfolding for each of them. The complicated political circumstances surrounding what today, looking through the eyes of a 20th century mind-set people might perceive as simply a painting unravelled, was a delightful backdrop.

Scoring is sparse which always meets with approval, but exactly the right level of mood enhancement at predictable but understandably key moments.

Costume and sets are stunning.

A very, very good, well crafted film, and welcomed addition to this library.

Lase.

Ablaze (2001)

Has To Be Seen To Be Believed

[1/10 · 16 August 2011]

Firstly, it stars Tom Arnold which should make anyone suspicious, a god-awful actor at the best of times. Saying that he's not all that much worse than anything else I've been unfortunate enough to see him in, but looks at the camera inadvertently almost more times than he appears.

It's funny because I actually fell asleep after around 5 minutes but then woke up another few minutes later and was left wondering "have I been asleep for over two hours? The film I fell asleep to had Ice T in it, where's he gone?".

The writing is monumentally terrible. All the simplistic dialogue you'd expect from an abomination with a plot summary similar to this one. I can't help but try and imagine the process involved when this band of hapless Hollywood types scratched around for ideas and funding. If anyone amongst this tribe ever worked again God only knows how. Hollywood films are poor more often than not and this is like 'Hollywood Culture' wrapped up in one epic masterpiece of wasted time.

I'm a film collector, and I don't know who John Bradly (top billing) is... I still don't.

In terms of score, it's everything a Hollywood Blockbuster normally is, miserably monotonous horns throughout and "awwww" sorry strings for the mooshy bits at hospital bedsides and shots of heart monitors. Absolutely awful.

What should amaze the uninitiated, is that I saw this film on television. With the wealth of spectacular film making across the world, someone, somewhere actually made the decision to air this over it all. I understand that it's part of the dumbing down process but it's so tiring that the library of television stations is consistently stocked with plastic, ready-made microwavable mind-fluff in favour of art. The mind of the 10 year old in the body of an adult is nurtured heavily, always.

Possibly, the worst film I've ever seen.

If I was to be positive, I'd say that this film needs 30 years to become a classic, but only because it will become a great social document to help understand what disgusting times the late 20th and early 21st centuries were to live in.

Carlito's Way (1993)

At first It seemed OK. On hindsight it's a terrible film.

[1/10 · 4 January 2010]

At first It seemed OK.

On hindsight it's a terrible film. Full of cliché predictable scenes and a jukebox soundtrack that make it a shame Shaun Penn had anything to do with this, someone whom ordinarily I hold in high regard. And there was nothing wrong with his performance in this. I'm convinced that the more times you watch this film, the more it'll begin to irritate you.

**SPOILER** There is one or two delightful very memorable scenes however in my opinion. Firstly, when he's ran out of ammunition in the toilets, and secondly when Penn is sick onto the fence looking out onto the harbour.

This film is text book, gangster film for the sake of a gangster film (A genre I usually try to avoid at all costs). Poor dialogue, coo-coo land fantasy plot lines, and probably it's most effective drawback is that it's made a mockery thanks to the terrible casting choices of ham extras and jobbing rent-a-crowds (Who are employed ad infinitum in an abundance of scenes).

I get the feeling that sometimes whilst watching Paccino in this film, that even he wishes he'd never got involved.

Pay close attention to the extras, it'll ruin this film for you. And rightfully so.