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Namron7
Reviews
Carriers (2009)
Made by the ignorant for the ignorant
I'm tired of these 'science fiction' films which are made with no reference to junior science. It's very annoying, and it spoils all the other worthy stuff such as good acting, plot, direction and production. A scientific adviser would cost what....$500 per day? For, what.... two days? Why not invest in that so as to avoid obvious nonsense such as:
1. There was no point in quarantining the father and daughter in the back of the SUV. The whole SUV was infected, and Chlorox would not make any difference. Nor would polythene and masking tape
2. There is no point in differentiating the degree of potential infectiousness of either daughter or father, in that that the father is fine to run about but the daughter isn't. I find this ironic in view of the film's title
3. The gun the father is given is a MAJOR vector for infection when he passes it back again (they stand back from him though - like he is a leper, LOL!)
4. Dust masks are not effective barriers for either viruses or bacteria
So it's a fail from the word go. An ignorant film, made by the ignorant for the ignorant.
The Relief of Belsen (2007)
Good film, but nonsense is as nonsense does
I get it....ish Not really enough research, though. For instance.........
I can remember hearing a programme on Radio 4 where various medics from the time discussed the restorative effects of different types of medicines. In particular they waxed lyrical about IV glucose/saline as having a 'Lazarus' effect. Why is this important factor missed? Secondly, that scene about the prisoner lady being scared of the injection because 'they injected us with benzene to make us burn better' is pure shiz. For sure, they - the Nazis - injected benzene at times (along with a million other substances). But even I know they didn't do it to enhance any 'burning effect'. LOL! It seems crazy to me that the producers actually thought that a 10-25ml (or even 500ml) injection of flammable fluid into a body would enhance the burning of a corpse. Sadly, it's typical of the fact that very few people have science qualifications these days. But let's not blame a lack of science. Let's even try common sense. i.e. Did the producers ever try to light even a barbecue with 25ml of lighter fluid? LOL.
Like I said, 'OK' only.
Naked (1993)
Whining nonsense
Complete rubbish.
For a start, Johnny wouldn't have lasted one day back in 90's London done up as he was. That oily 70's porno-moustache would have been torn clean off his face within 12 hours.
Secondly, why does Mike Leigh think ALL women are slags?
Thirdly, what's with all the rape stuff? And what's with the voyeurism? Er,.....Mike?
Fourthly, WTF is going on with the ending? My guess - based on his previous form: Johnny hops to the nearest phonebox to drink a bottle of vodka, pleasure himself over the phone-book, beat his head bloody against the door jamb, and collapse in a pool of vomit - all the while reading the Schrodinger equation aloud in a whining northern accent.
I really wish that had been the ending! And that then a steamroller - piloted by the security guard tersely singing 'Any Old Iron' in a monotone - had very slowly crushed said phonebox flat with Johnny inside, accompanied by his screams, imprecations, philosophical incantations and begging. Johnny's last words would be 'Tetley Tea Folk...Marquis de Sade...'.
Seriously, just because it was 'cough, cough' a bit different, doesn't mean this film was great.
Please grow up, everyone.
Sigh.
Kidulthood (2006)
Excellent DVD stocking filler for members of the BNP
I saw this for the first time recently, and simply had to comment even though the film is a few years old.
This is the worst film that I have seen in years! Firstly, it hangs on the tails of the 'Broken Britain' tedious myth that is perpetrated and propagated by the likes of the Daily Mail. Certainly, all of the issues depicted by the film exist and are fully worthy of attention. But could they all exist at once? And do they all happen all the time? Is this what life is about in London today for the average teenager???? No! And that is only one of the reasons why this film is ridiculous.
As for the characters, the lot of them could have been put up against a wall and shot and I would have applauded. For instance, I was glad Trife was killed – and I don't think that was the director's intention unless he's far more subtle than I give him credit for. In fact, they missed a trick here. The characters are so horrible that had they killed them off one-by-one a la Final Destination - instead of messing about with a laughable Romeo and Juliet plot (Pffffttt! Like anyone would care whether those toerags got back together or not!) - it would have been far more enjoyable. I would have particularly enjoyed seeing Katie's dad die in a freak laptop computer incident. I could go on, but I don't think it's healthy....
Like I said at the start, I'm a bit confused about the 'Broken Britain' basket this thing sits in, and I really wonder what the intention of the director/screen writer was. Incredibly, an Asian director and a black scriptwriter seem to have come up with a propaganda film for the BNP that gets around the present hate laws. Here is my thinking:
i. The black and mixed race pupils beat Katie: a tall, beautiful, middle class white girl, forcing her to admit to being a 'virgin' (by implication a heinous crime according to their 'black ass' thinking) leading her to commit suicide. Trife – a black boy - then 'stands up' for Katie by declaring that he had sex with her – thereby clearing her of her 'crime'. Hopefully he wasn't asked to speak at the funeral
.
ii. Then, after being given a day-off school for mourning and quiet reflection as a result of Katie's death, the black and mixed-race guys instead decide to go off on a spree of casual sex, violent confrontation, knife-wielding thuggery, drug taking and general mayhem on London's streets and shops – all set to various rap 'choons'. It is understood by all that the day will culminate in a 'well wicked party' where more of the same will transpire. Trife also finds a bit of time to visit his mentor: an uncle who (surprise) is a black, drug-dealing, murderous, violent, gun-running 'gangsta' who likes to carve his initials on people's faces with a Stanley knife.
(Wot d'ya fink so far, Mr Griffin?) Let's carry on for a bit:
iii. Encouraged by the example of the males, the late Katie's female classmates also opt for a contemplation-free day. Firstly, mixed-race Alisa kicks things off by announcing that she's pregnant in a mobile phone conversation. There is some confusion over who the father is, and this inspires the noble Trife – the recipient of the call and the father - to tell her to eff off. In order to help the tearful Alisa cope with this double blow of pregnancy and rejection, her friend Becky suggests a day of shopping, prostitution, casual sex and drugs. Alisa – after a bit of brow-furrowing - thinks this idea has potential. Off they go.
iv. White girls: the characters of Becky and Claire are carefully drawn to conform to Daily Mail reader stereotypes of the 'type of white girls who hang around with blacks' i.e. total sluts. Becky will sleep with anyone for nothing (at the end she wonders around the 'well wicked' party asking people to service her) but prefers to do it for drugs and/or money. Claire, who's a bit more middle-class than Becky, will give you a quickie after twenty seconds of chimp chat-up - if she can fit you in whilst her boyfriend pops to the newsagent for a packet of cigs
and Claire's mum will provide the condoms with a cheerful smile. Sam, ever the gentleman, threatens to publicly reveal Claire's personal hygiene problems. So what conclusion can we draw? I know! Smelly white female pigs doing it with blacks, ugh! Do I get a star, miss?
v. Black misogyny: generally, black males in this film score poorly in aspects of courtly love. There are numerous examples but Sam's treatment of both Katie and Claire is pertinent, as is Uncle Curtis' slap of his girlfriend when she interrupts his cretinous musings and Trife's initial reaction to Alisa's pregnancy. Becky's boyfriend (a deliberately greasy/swarthy/foreign type) gloats over the fact that she's only fifteen and that he has such power over her. Trife charms a twenty-six year old white female architect (she being unaccountably attracted to him) but prefers to steal her purse. Etc, etc, etc. Sigh.
The plot lacks all maturity, depth and development. One would be entirely forgiven for thinking that the scriptwriter was himself fifteen – if not younger. In short: this film would be pleasing to:
Some fifteen year old boys, who might feel disenfranchised by the way that the girls in their classroom are so very far ahead of them in maturity
BNP members, for whom it would make an ideal stocking filler
Broken Britain, m'botty. One star for the teenage actors, and no stars for anything else.