DanJensenMovieTalk Reviews

Purple Rain (1984)

A masterclass in misogyny

[3/10 · 4 September 2021]

Only watched this for the first time last night after constantly seeing it appear in top ten lists of greatest music films ever made. I figured it must be something pretty special.

It wasn't.

On the plus side, the "live" performance stuff is great. Not just Prince, but Morris Day and the Time were great, too. The soundtrack has always been a terrific album. I liked the character of Apollonia, but mostly because I felt completely sorry for her.

And that brings me to my main point. This film is absurdly horrible towards women. I am not "woke", nor am I a raging feminist or whatever. But within the first half hour, Prince's character was a complete jerk who I couldn't feel invested in, as was every other male character. From degrading someone by making them strip almost naked and jump in freezing water to literally throwing a woman into a dumpster, the women in this film are treated horribly.

I get that the '80s were a different time and we've grown since then as a society. And I get that one of the central themes was how The Kid was in danger of becoming his father. But I really think they could have done it in a far more subtle way, using subtext instead of blatant cruelty.

But whatever. As long as the soundtrack sells, right?

Batman and Harley Quinn (2017)

They've gotta be messing with us, right?

[1/10 · 22 August 2017]

I paid twenty bucks to see this movie in the cinema. Twenty bucks to watch Harley Quinn farting in the Batmobile and Batman telling Nightwing it "smells like discipline." I'm serious. The movie was bad enough before that with Harley complaining about being treated like a sex object only to then have her way with Nightwing tied to her bed, but the fart scene was as much as I could take. Yes, I endured the rest of this in order to review it but nothing could save it by then. Poor writing, too many convenient plot devices and a really lazy ending. Plus a post-credit sequence that went for 3.5 minutes and had zero relevance to the actual plot of the movie! I really hope this isn't the direction the DC animated universe is heading, because if that's the case I'm done with it.

Daddy's Little Girl (II) (2014)

Total waste of time

[2/10 · 1 October 2014]

Prior to seeing this I'd taken into account that many of the positive reviews on here may have stemmed from people doing the director a favour, and knowing that he has a large following on Facebook it didn't surprise me. But I wanted to check the movie out for myself and make up my own mind, especially since learning more about Chris Sun of late. I now truly believe that the positive reviews are completely fabricated, as there is just no way anyone could possibly believe this movie is worth more than a 5/10 at best.

Everything I just read about how bad the acting was is totally true. I didn't believe in a single character, which left me devoid of any emotional attachment. This resulted in me having no desire to see the killer get what was coming to them, which is essential in a revenge flick. I usually love seeing the bad guys get what they deserve in movies, but this time around I just didn't care.

The plot had too many holes, especially how the killer is revealed. Completely implausible. If I were doing something so despicable there's no way in hell I'd leave evidence lying around where anyone could find it. It would be more believable if the culprit were severely mentally ill and incapable of thinking rationally, but in this instance he was just a boring, regular guy.

I haven't been excited about Charlie's Farm, being that it looks like a derivative slasher flick that I've seen 100 times before and proudly boasts Sharknado's Tara Reid as a star. I was hoping that watching DLG might boost my eagerness, but now I'm even less enthusiastic about it.

Still, it gives us filmmakers hope that you can still achieve success by churning out utter crap. All you need to do is somehow trick the public into believing that your arrogance towards people and high self-opinion is charming.

Deadly Prey (1987)

Gold. Pure gold.

[10/10 · 21 December 2002]

I love this movie to the point that I found an e-mail address for Ted Prior's ex-wife and wrote to her. It thrills me to know that she passed on the regards of Ted's legion of Gold Coast fans to him.

Please, if anyone is reading this and considering watching 'Deadly Prey', drop everything, quit your job, divorce your wife, rent it out and enjoy what is arguably the finest motion picture ever committed to celluloid.

The Ring (2002)

Hmmmmm.....

[8 November 2002]

I was a HUGE fan of the Japanese original version, so I was very skeptical as to whether the US remake could fill its shoes. While I'll admit the remake has some reasonably good moments, it seems that all the logic, intelligence and darkness of the original are sadly removed. The fact that the formerly clever title has been dumbed down to include a physical 'ring' within the film saddens me, and shows how condescending studios can be. The only part of the movie where I felt that sense of dread from the original was "that scene" towards the end. That was quite well done, but again didn't stand up to its predecessor. It was interesting to see that elements of 'Ring 2' were used in the film (the psychiatric hospital scene).

Conclusion -- the main reason I felt compelled to write this is to urge anyone planning on seeing this to PLEASE see the original first! You'll be thankful you did.