I made it through ten minutes; consequently, I lost twelve IQ points and I have forgotten how to conjugate verbs in the past tense. There is not one redeeming quality to this show - no interesting characters, no snappy dialogue, no unique storyline, no groundbreaking art. However, if you're a fan of fart jokes, you might as well reserve the first season on DVD right now. In fact, if you were able to watch the entire first episode without feeling at least the slightest pang of embarrassment for being a member of the same species as the creator and writers of this show, you should take a long hard look in the mirror and contemplate the meaning of your existence.
Reviews
3 Reviews
What's Cooking?
(2000)
Why the praise?
30 July 2005
After watching this movie on a boring Saturday afternoon, I couldn't quite figure out why so many people liked it. It wasn't "heartwarming" or "clever"; it was merely an amalgam of every other "mismatched people coming together during a holiday and despite their ideological differences learning something about each other" movie ever made.
The characters are a stereotype bouillabaisse -- We have the Blacks, the Hispanics, The Jews, The Asians, and the Homosexuals -- and they never do anything except what everyone expects characters in a movie like this to do. The black mother declares that it's "all right, then" when it's mentioned that another black character is at church instead of helping prepare dinner (because all blacks love church), the Hispanics seem only capable of speaking Spanish when the greet each other or make exclamations, the lesbians do nothing but cuddle and kiss (and one of them wears a bandanna. Because all lesbians dress like Ani DiFranco), and the Vietnamese family owns a video store. In L.A. Imagine that.
Oh, and the movie is called "What's Cooking" because each ethnic family cooks a different version of what they think Thanksgiving dinner should be! The Black mother wants cornbread and macaroni and cheese, the Hispanics are shown rolling tortillas, the Vietnamese family is deep frying spring rolls; I'm surprised there wasn't a bottle of Manischewitz on the Jewish table. This is all shown via the time-honored tradition of the "musical-montage", where they play the Surfari's "Wipeout", rapidly switching the instruments used in the melody to reflect the respective cultures. Isn't that cute? Anyway, once the director is finished establishing how different everyone is, he attempts to show the inner humanity that we, as all people of every race, religion and culture share, by inventing implausible and overly dramatic conflicts for each of the families to deal with. It would be a plot-killer to mention what each of these conflicts are, but rest assured that they are indeed surprises, that is if you have been sleeping for the first half of the movie. The theme of "disgracing the family" runs pretty strong throughout.
All in all, if you're the type of person who enjoys those new-fangled movies that revolve around the stories of unlikely characters intertwining, well, you still won't like this movie. If you like extended montages of food being passed around a table, then you need to put this in your Netflix queue. But if stereotypes and clichés are endearing to you, then make sure you ask for this for Christmas. Or Hanukkah. Or Kwanzaa.
The characters are a stereotype bouillabaisse -- We have the Blacks, the Hispanics, The Jews, The Asians, and the Homosexuals -- and they never do anything except what everyone expects characters in a movie like this to do. The black mother declares that it's "all right, then" when it's mentioned that another black character is at church instead of helping prepare dinner (because all blacks love church), the Hispanics seem only capable of speaking Spanish when the greet each other or make exclamations, the lesbians do nothing but cuddle and kiss (and one of them wears a bandanna. Because all lesbians dress like Ani DiFranco), and the Vietnamese family owns a video store. In L.A. Imagine that.
Oh, and the movie is called "What's Cooking" because each ethnic family cooks a different version of what they think Thanksgiving dinner should be! The Black mother wants cornbread and macaroni and cheese, the Hispanics are shown rolling tortillas, the Vietnamese family is deep frying spring rolls; I'm surprised there wasn't a bottle of Manischewitz on the Jewish table. This is all shown via the time-honored tradition of the "musical-montage", where they play the Surfari's "Wipeout", rapidly switching the instruments used in the melody to reflect the respective cultures. Isn't that cute? Anyway, once the director is finished establishing how different everyone is, he attempts to show the inner humanity that we, as all people of every race, religion and culture share, by inventing implausible and overly dramatic conflicts for each of the families to deal with. It would be a plot-killer to mention what each of these conflicts are, but rest assured that they are indeed surprises, that is if you have been sleeping for the first half of the movie. The theme of "disgracing the family" runs pretty strong throughout.
All in all, if you're the type of person who enjoys those new-fangled movies that revolve around the stories of unlikely characters intertwining, well, you still won't like this movie. If you like extended montages of food being passed around a table, then you need to put this in your Netflix queue. But if stereotypes and clichés are endearing to you, then make sure you ask for this for Christmas. Or Hanukkah. Or Kwanzaa.
Spider-Man 2
(2004)
What's the hype? (Spoilers below)
5 July 2004
Warning: Spoilers
Just finished watching Spiderman 2, and was left with one thought: "Eh". Not only was most of the storyline (that pertaining to Peter Parker and MJ's "relationship") monotonous and repetitive, a large portion of the action is just not explained, and/or is ridiculous. The 20-something son of a newspaper editor is an astronaut? Peter is struggling to get by when his best friend is a billionaire industrialist? Dr. Octavius is building a "fusion" reactor from an isotope of hydrogen which is used to power glow in the dark toys? AND he is able to create an AI, cybernetic organism that fuses to the bode via acupuncture needles? AND he hasn't already won the Nobel Prize for that accomplishment? What's the deal with Peter's skinny neighbor? She seems to serve no purpose whatsoever. Manhattan now has an elevated train? Peter is able to control his genetic enhancements via his emotions? What is he, an X-Man? And for Christ's sake, can someone explain the science behind halting a nuclear fusion reaction via dropping the whole getup into a river?
I could go on. But then I'd sound as long-winded and annoying as this movie. All in all, this was an utter disappointment to both movie and Spiderman fans. However, if you like trite, teary romance flicks, this might be a good choice. Wait for the DVD...
I could go on. But then I'd sound as long-winded and annoying as this movie. All in all, this was an utter disappointment to both movie and Spiderman fans. However, if you like trite, teary romance flicks, this might be a good choice. Wait for the DVD...
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