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Reviews
S. Darko (2009)
Jack Sparrow should have stuck to swashbuckling...
***May contain spoilers***
Seriously? Why did this happen to us?
I was a fan of Donnie Darko, not perhaps as adamantly as some. And although I was not a die-hard fan, this movie made me want to die.
Where to start?
My favorite plot hole in this piece (of crap) was the meteorite kid with his rash, that was apparently turning him into Venom, and the two men in black who were probably trying to hunt him down with their flashy things, who appeared randomly in the background twice. Had they just flashed me with it, I could forget that I saw all of this.
And Iraq Jack being Roberta Sparrow's grandson... in some weird Utah town... thousands of miles away... Brilliant.
And who was killing the kids? And what did they have to do with anything at all whatsoever?
And the feather? The one Samantha pulled out of the TV, the one that fell from the sky and smashed the sidewalk, and the one that somehow opened the jail cell.
And the phoenix that came through the wormhole that turned from the weird cube thing.
I've never seen a sequel that I would call a rip-off of it's original, because they are usually poor attempts at continuing a story. As this had no real story per se, that's how I see it. Like when Twister came out and the next week at Blockbuster, there was "Tornado!", this rip off doesn't even bother to change it's name.
Not only though does it steal blatantly from Donnie Darko, but it seems to steal from Men In Black, Spiderman 3, Pirates of the Caribbean, Contact, and Kiss The Girls.
At least we know Jessie Spannow hates Anus Sex. Mystery solved.
Vanilla Sky (2001)
Absolutely Beautiful.
This is perhaps one of the most gorgeous movies I have ever seen. Tom Cruise is awesome, and let's be honest, what guy didn't fall in love with Penelope Cruz during the course of this film? Cameron Diaz's speech in the car was haunting and disturbing, and Jason Lee is just cool.
Here is my opinion, and just my opinion. Making a movie is easy. Making a good movie is harder, because it has to be good from start to finish. Making a twist ending movie is harder still because it essentially has to be two separate films. One for the people who have never seen it before, and a separate movie for those who have and who can catch what's going on for real. And a good twist ending movie is even harder, because it not only is good the first and second time, but the third as well, because you're still getting more out of it. I never figured out who Elle was until the third time I watched it. My suggestion is to watch this movie at least three times.
The Sifl & Olly Show (1998)
Buy my endangered dogs, suckers!
This show is absolutely hilarious. And I'm so sad that MTV has dropped shows like this one and kept TRL and Daria.
Sifl and Olly are great characters, and they're only socks. Chester is the best though. My favorite is the one where he watched Planet of the Apes the night before and wants a talking Cornelius monkey so they can talk about throwing bananas and girls. The show was really brilliant, and I'm looking everywhere for episodes. If you can find them, get them, they're worth the trouble.