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Frankenstein (2004 TV Movie)
5/10
Mildly amusing retelling
10 October 2004
In a dark New Orleans atmosphere, witty detectives Parker Posey (Carson) and Adam Goldberg are hunting a killer who rips organs from the victims. Their investigation starts in the public library where a security guard has had his heart ripped out. The investigation leads Carson down a grim road where she learns that the victims are all abnormal creations of Dr. Victor Helios, an uber-creepy doctor with a penchant for "perfection."

Evidently, Helios improved on the physical stamina and endurance of humans (his creations can survive great falls, have bigger hearts, and more calcium in the bones making them "cement-like"). However, Helios fails to perfect the mental stability of these persons. It turns out, nearly half the people we meet are his "children."

As we learn just how crazy everyone is and as one particularly charitable Helios-man throws Carson clue after clue, we find out who the killer is and spend 30 minutes chasing him around. In the meanwhile, Helios drowns the wife he created (an inexplicable method for a physician - one can only presume demonstrating the depth of his insanity) -- only to reinvigorate her with new life and a new personality. The big climax of the film is when the Helios-man-serial-killer faces off with the Helios-man-clue-giver. Of course, the latter wins.

The film scores well on visuals, displaying much of the sculpture, old mansions, and architecture for which New Orleans is known for. It also has the usual good performances by Goldberg and Posey. Unfortunately, everyone else simply acts overtly spooky with little personality beyond general creepiness. For horror movie fans, this will disappoint. Even more damning, the film has a cliff-hanger ending leaving huge room for a sequel - but why?

5/10
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4/10
Hammer good. Hammer without Christopher Lee BAD. 4 out of 10.
9 December 2002
Warning: Spoilers
Simply put, Christopher Lee's presence is sorely missed in Kiss of the Vampire (KOV). The movie has a moderate degree of atmosphere and good cinematography during the beginning funeral sequence but it swiftly goes downhill from there. The only other scene worth seeing soon follows (see spoilers below). The plot is unoriginal and not performed well. Much is stolen from the previous Hammer film with Lee, "Horror of Dracula" (HOD) (see spoilers below).

Non-horror movie goers: Don't bother. Look for the names-Price, Cushing or Lee.

Casual fans (people who like horror or vampire movies): Worth seeing ONLY if its on for free and only after the first 15 minutes. Feel free to abandon the movie after that. You won't miss much.

For Hammer fans: Worth seeing to better appreciate the presence of Christopher Lee.



**SPOILERS**:

Basically, a honeymooning couple's car breaks down in rural Bavaria. They fall into the clutches of a vampire cult. Husband must save his bride in distress.

The only scene other than the funeral sequence worth watching features a local vampire expert cauterizing a vampire bite on his hand in dramatic fashion - he pours alcohol over the wound, sticks his hand in the fire and faints as the flames wrap around his hand. A nicely done scene.

Certain story elements have been directly stolen from the previous Hammer film, HOD and it even appears that props have been reused.

Similarities in both films:

*A young, attractive vampiress named Tania *The traveller is lost and ends up locked/trapped in the chateau. *Bats viciously bite people to death (innocent people in HOD; the evil cult in KOV). Looks like exactly the same bats as in HOD. *A local man with previous encounters with the local vampire(s) guides/helps the young man rescue the captured innocent.

So, the morale is, Hammer is not infallible.
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6/10
Average/ok for genre fans
4 October 2002
Warning: Spoilers
For genre fans who appreciate Hammer Horror, Christopher Lee's acting, Victorian costuming, etc. this movie is ok/average.

Paul Carlson is a young dashing man who swoons every woman and 'gets together' with them. Escaping from the Burgemaster after 'getting together' with his daughter (very funny dialogue), our protagonist is chased out of the city of Kleineburg into the rural countryside where scared villagers hide from the wrath of Dracula and the animals he has dominion over.

Unable to find a room (and almost getting together with a barmaid), Paul arrives at Dracula's castle. Dracula, of course, welcomes the visitor. Has a room 'arranged' for him. Paul, of course, 'gets together' with Tatania, the lusty mistress of Dracula. Then all hell breaks loose.

Two interesting scenes worth seeing:

(1) There is a wonderful scene of the stereotyped igor-like man-servant cleaning up the gruesome dead body of Dracula's victim. Considering the large number of victims in his castle that SOMEBODY has to clean up the mess!

(2) Christopher Lee, as Count Dracula, has placed a sword in the fire (for torture purposes). Heated to a red-hot glow, Lee pulls the sword out of the fire and holds it in a dramatic, firey pose for a few seconds before putting it to use. 32 years later, Christopher Lee, as Count Dooku, holds his red light saber in the same position!

Paul's friends try to save him and end up in a dramatic final confrontation on the castle roof.

The ending, the ignorant, tiresome townspeople and all of the womanizing make this only average.

***SPOILER*** The ending was pathetic. Dracula gets struck by lightening and falls into the castle moat!! Come on!
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