CrankyGoose Reviews

Civil War (2024)

Nice but stupid job

[7/10 · 26 May 2024]

The first impression of the movie was very nice. The work on the movie is fabulous. Special effects, sounds, 3D animation.. it's just marvel. It's just amazing, if u watched it you would be speechless, because work on this movie was breathtaking. But to the script, I have a lot of questions.. While u are watching this, u would have many questions, like "what is going on?", "what am I watching?", "why are they doing this"? And those questions are without answer. It's not clear who created rebellion and why every1 is killing each other. In general, the younger journalist acted very stupidly and while we watch the film, we can see that the directors tried to show how much she didn't care about her safety. But she was saved, and she looked like if she really doesn't care. The movie deserves a solid seven.

Madame Web (2024)

It's definitely not worth watching

[4/10 · 17 March 2024]

I had high hopes for this movie. I waited it and I thought that It will be very nice and stunning movie to be honest. From the first seconds of this I was already so confused about what happens in the movie. It looked like if two different scenes tied into one. Also, the actions in the movie was quite unexpected. It was impossible to understand what would happen next.. the events that happened and will happen are very incomprehensible and different. But the special effects are a separate issue.. they look like they were from 2005 or smth? They are not really bad.. the acting wasn't great either. The movie was very long, they could make it much shorter and you wouldn't lose anything from the plot. The scenes are very long, for example, when Cassie was driving, this scene alone took all of 5 minutes. We learned almost nothing except the names of the main characters. Another scene in the forest also takes up a lot of screen time. The events in the movie dont coincide with what will happen. I think that even fans could make such a movie. I think if Cassie had stayed that paramedic, the movie would have been even more interesting than when she became a spider-woman. I dont recommend watching.

Nimona (2023)

it's an ill-conceived, overrated soap opera

[3/10 · 3 March 2024]

Well, for the first, I immediately want to say that it's PERSONALLY my opinion about this movie. And if you say that I need to understand the perfection of whole picture of this "masterpiece", I need to read the books on the basis of which this film needs to be made, watch an interview with the author, read comics, then please close your mouth quietly, because I appreciate the movie and not the books and everything that came before it. But if I offended anyone with this, I am sorry.

Well, I don't know even where should I start.. this movie is very nonsense, stupid and.. I don't know, stupid again? I would just like to clarify a little bit.. So, as in cartoon said, that in their kingdom there was a very big and scary monster, who can beat up everybody and destroy everything in the entire world.. a very huge danger which can to appear from nothing but frighten and give fearsome to everybody.. And a very caring kingdom equips and educates descendants of descendants to make them serve in the army for trouble and service of the kingdom!!... BUT THERE IS ONE NUANCE! NO ATTACK HAS HAPPENED IN 1000 YEARS! That is, generations were afraid of a monster that did not come out, did not attack and did not appear for more than 1000 years!!! Which means, that kingdom paid a lot of money by this long 1000 years for army, which in fact, didn't do anything! This is not bad corruption, don't y'all think so? And also we can find out from the movie that nobody has never left the big wall which created to protect people from a terrified monster, and you say to me that NOBODY for this years didn't even think about what is behind the big gate? There was not a single enthusiast who would go beyond the wall? Well.. this is already dumb.

And let's talk about how Ballister became a warrior of kingdom.. he just someday runaway from the guardians and then attacked some a pear stuffed with hay, knocking it over and like he is cool and look at me what I did and blah blah. But then The Diractor said that he will become NEW WARRIOR only because he PROBABLY has a very kind heart! So, for more than 1000 years, no one was accepted into the army except the heirs, but when suddenly Ballister appeared everybody just forgot about that rule? Its interesting.. But the knighthood ceremony is even dumber!! When the Queen tapped on the Ballister's shoulders with sword and gave it back to him suddenly a sword fired a laser and ki#led her!! That's so STUPID! In general, it was forbidden to aim in the Middle Ages with a sword or a bow to enemy but Ballister did it. If he took it a little to the left, or a little to the right, or down, queen would survive and everything would be okay. But no, that sh#t happened and everybody started to think that Ballister is a kil#er. But then Ambrosius did something which made me so supriced. He just cut Ballister's arm off. That is, instead of detaining him, even when he cut it off, Ballister "miraculously" managed to escape. I'm just clapping right now.

And am I still have to continue?.. well, the next example. Ballister is sitting in jail.. alone. And then from nowhere came Nimona with his iron arm. She gave it to him and when the film frame is focused at Ballister, Nimona with magic way is already not in cell and then she just with one punch breaks the security to the cell.. please somebody, explain to me.. In a high-tech kingdom, with high-tech equipment, the cells of potentially dangerous criminals can be break with just one punch?.. it's so thoughtless..

and also Nimona. So, as we can see that Nimona is just immortal creature who can create into any animal any human and just at everything which she wants, hid from everyone and everything this long thousand years only because nobody doesnt accept her? Why does she even need it? She is immortal and also by watching a movie we can understand that she doesnt feel any pain. Well, we can attack her, but she won't even react at it. And it needs some acceptance of not mortals souls? And what about her behavior? Ima going to say it again, but by watching the movie we can see a lot of her draws where bleed, ki#ls, attacks and fights with other kinights, which means that she is quite dangerous for everybody. When she blew up some kingdom's tower, thereby ki#led many people and destroyed infrastructure she just said so cringe phrase "Metal" and smiled by this? And people have to accept her? This is definitely not a character to follow! Ambrosius loves and doesn't love his best friend Ballister throughout the film. He can't decide whether to be friends or enemies, it's quite stupid and hastily!! The Diractor's the actions were also stupid, for example when she "kil#led" Ambrosius and admitted that she actually planned the reason against Ballister to ki#l a Queen. And there are a lot of such moments without an answer, which so nonsense and dumb and I can list them for a long time, and my text is already so long that no one will read it!! So, Ima stopping in that moment.

Phew.. well.. let's talk not about plot.. Animation I really liked. It's pleasant to watch and it's not puts pressure on the eyes.. I like this type of animation, this work was really nice, slightly soapy animation, but still very good.

Voice acting. I have watched it in 2 languages. Yes! I watched this stupid-a#s movie TWICE times.. ugh.. I really liked English voice acting. But in Russian.. it sounded so cringe.. especially Nimona's cringe phrase "Metal".. and by the way, she pushed this phrase always where it shouldn't be.. This movie is probably suitable for watching twice.. but this movie is still very dumb and makes its main point very unclear. Scenarists, thank you all for a terrible job!

Well! If you read everything, you are just a hero!! And yes they was paid millions to me for this comment. It's my probably the biggest comment on IMDb.. I was able to say it from my heart... I apologize again if I offended you! Have a nice day!

Einstein and the Bomb (2024)

That's actually not bad.. but not that good

[7/10 · 2 March 2024]

This movie is quite interesting and in fact, I learned a lot of new things for me. I found out that Einstein actually played on fiddle, that he has never liked interviews, that such a popular and influential person was hiding in the village in Big Britain, in some small house and etc. The film is really informative and you can learn a lot about his biography and the years when he was hiding from the scary and insane murder Nazi dictator Adolf H#tler. The only minuses of this movie is that it is short and actors are really not very well played. In a person who played Einstein it was not visible to the naked eye that he was wearing a wig and make-up. That's all what I didn't like. Everything else was very informative and interesting. I recommend this movie to watch.

Choose or Die (2022)

It's atmospheric, it even has sense!

[8/10 · 12 January 2024]

This movie is very cool, with very interesting and exciting idea. Idea in that the game turns into a terrible and cruel reality, where your choices affect other people's lives is a exotic idea. You are really worry about main character and its interesting to see how characters get scary of the first time of this terrifying game. I like that this film scares not with screamers, but with the atmosphere and injustice, which throughout the movie. Especially, I liked the meaning of this movie "Those who deserve it must suffer". The film is very interesting, but as a horror, its not enough to scare. Also this movie is only for 1 watch, but I left satisfied with this movie.

Vatican Girl: The Disappearance of Emanuela Orlandi (2022)

Dirty secrets of Vatican

[10/10 · 4 January 2024]

Vatican has been hiding the truth for over 2,000 years. Vatican is famous for its passion and obsession with God.. but how obsessed do they have to be to hide the suffering of a fifteen year old child? How religious do they have to be to remain silent for 34 long years? Vatican Girl which mysteriously disappeared, the strange words of the Pope.. it is a long and unsolved story. She is Emanuela Orlandi who left home and never returned.. Her tragic, frightening and difficult story of disappearance has been a real mystery for more than a century. This serial perfectly conveys the and difficult story of Emanuela. This is a perfect, mystical series. Unfortunately there only Italian language, in not high quality English but you can watch it with it. That job is amazing, I feel so sorry for Emanuela, to her brother and family.

Wish (II) (2023)

It's not that bad.. but boring

[6/10 · 2 December 2023]

Well, I watched this cartoon on December 1 at the cinema. To begin with, I didnt understand why this cartoon was criticized so much. When the movie started I.. still didn't understand why it was being criticized. To be honest absolutely all music scenes of the movie were not bad, but they started to get annoying after 3 music scenes in 30 minutes. (All music scenes actually very nice and rhythmic. So, u won't feel awkward!) the main character Asha wanted to fulfill her grandfather's wish for his 100th birthday. For this, she goes to King Magnifico (which later will become a bad character after the song. Oh, and again how unexpected.) A wish is the biggest dream that people wanted to fulfill, and only a king can fulfill their wish. The king refuses to fulfill the wish, and Asha sets out on her own to fulfill the wish of her beloved grandfather.. and this is where the problems of the film itself begin. For some reason, the king went crazy and stole all the wishes, after Asha stole the grandfather's wish and she fulfilled it. In the film, there is a goat for something, but it does not play any role there. Just a funny goat that you should laugh at. In general, the film has funny scenes, little tension. The best character is the king, with his unexpected and strange actions. His charisma and rage were perfectly conveyed. There are about 6 music scenes in the movie and they are all not bad. If you don't dwell on the banal and obvious problem of the film from the beginning of the film, do not dwell on what is happening there and why. The animation was good, I personally like the style that was set in this cartoon. Well, u can watch the movie, but I must admit that it's not the best cartoon and has its problems.

Invincible (2021– )

Thats very interesting but empty

[8/10 · 26 November 2023]

This is a very interesting and intense cartoon. I loved all the storylines and how Mark tries to become a superhero like his dad. I enjoyed all the tense moments in the series, despite the fact that it sometimes feels like it has a stretched plot at times. But I didn't like that the background is often empty. No, the animation is good, but the background is often empty and static. In my opinion, I like when the background is as active as the characters. The characters are nicely fleshed out, but I never understood (no spoilers) why Omni man did that. But I liked everything. Thanks for this work!

Amphibia (2019–2022)

This is the best cartoon I've watched

[10/10 · 4 October 2023]

It's incredibly. And when I say it's incredible, I really mean it. This is a very interesting and funny cartoon, which has a lot of meaning. The cartoon allows u to rethink the concept of "friendship" and look at it from a different side. Fun adventures, situations and a working plot just make u want to watch this animated series! I'm sorry this animated series is over! But unfort, this cartoon didn't become as popular as, for example, "Owl House" or "Gravity Falls", but this cartoon is undoubtedly the best and most interesting of all that Here, Im writing thanks for all the emotions that this cartoon gave me.. I've watched! I recommend it to everyone!