Bonnascope
Joined Apr 2002
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Reviews15
Bonnascope's rating
One day, a member of this film's crew invited a friend and me to see it in a private screening, before it was released in theaters or even on any streaming platform. After finishing watching it, I could only repeat two words in my head: CINEMATIC TORTURE. I think I can say without a doubt that Ana Navasquillo's "The Return (El retorno)" is the worst film I've ever seen. Without a doubt, the worst to date. And that's saying something, considering I've seen all kinds of films; from films that are considered masterpieces to boring, Z-movie duds. But this film is a different kettle of fish. First, I'll say a few good things about it. Because yes, it has some good things. The photography, some of the performances, the editing of some scenes, and moments from the soundtrack. The end. The rest is ABSOLUTELY UNWATCHABLE.
The story revolves around the character of Ana Nasvasquillo, who for an hour and forty minutes gives us a tour of her house, talking to her "daughter," who seems to be a ghost, or maybe not, since we only see Navasquillo in an endless monologue about each location... After 20 minutes, I wanted to leave that place, but we stayed "out of respect." It's one thing to have a bad time watching a horror movie, but this was having a bad time on another level...
Yes, some may think it was a mistake on my part to put "Ana Navasquillo's". But this film was clearly made solely and exclusively for the enjoyment of its protagonist... Any doubt is removed when we see that she was also the main screenwriter and "creator" of the project. It's an "ego-movie" par excellence. I've also heard rumors that members of the crew had to be systematically replaced due to constant problems with her. And she even called on actors to reshoot her scenes because she felt overshadowed by their performances and wanted to excel in subsequent attempts. A true example of professionalism and modesty.
This film should have been a 10-minute short, NO MORE. Any experienced editor (also an screenwriter) would be able to recut it and leave it at that running time. I encourage someone to prove my theory and point out how many Navasquillo scenes were deleted from the final recut. But what I do encourage is to start a game from now on: Just as "The Room" (2003) became a mass spectacle, I encourage people to play the "WATCH THE RETURN" game. The brave person who manages to finish it will be the winner.
I hope all the crew members will forgive me, but this had to be said. I hope a decent re-edited short film can be released in the future, and they can replace this project with something much better to highlight in their filmographies, although that may be very easy from now on... Until then, I'll just say that "The Return" from 2025 is the worst film I've ever seen and will probably ever see in my life. Dethroning the film I already had as my worst, "I Love Hitler" (1984), which in comparison, I now consider a masterpiece.
The story revolves around the character of Ana Nasvasquillo, who for an hour and forty minutes gives us a tour of her house, talking to her "daughter," who seems to be a ghost, or maybe not, since we only see Navasquillo in an endless monologue about each location... After 20 minutes, I wanted to leave that place, but we stayed "out of respect." It's one thing to have a bad time watching a horror movie, but this was having a bad time on another level...
Yes, some may think it was a mistake on my part to put "Ana Navasquillo's". But this film was clearly made solely and exclusively for the enjoyment of its protagonist... Any doubt is removed when we see that she was also the main screenwriter and "creator" of the project. It's an "ego-movie" par excellence. I've also heard rumors that members of the crew had to be systematically replaced due to constant problems with her. And she even called on actors to reshoot her scenes because she felt overshadowed by their performances and wanted to excel in subsequent attempts. A true example of professionalism and modesty.
This film should have been a 10-minute short, NO MORE. Any experienced editor (also an screenwriter) would be able to recut it and leave it at that running time. I encourage someone to prove my theory and point out how many Navasquillo scenes were deleted from the final recut. But what I do encourage is to start a game from now on: Just as "The Room" (2003) became a mass spectacle, I encourage people to play the "WATCH THE RETURN" game. The brave person who manages to finish it will be the winner.
I hope all the crew members will forgive me, but this had to be said. I hope a decent re-edited short film can be released in the future, and they can replace this project with something much better to highlight in their filmographies, although that may be very easy from now on... Until then, I'll just say that "The Return" from 2025 is the worst film I've ever seen and will probably ever see in my life. Dethroning the film I already had as my worst, "I Love Hitler" (1984), which in comparison, I now consider a masterpiece.
Since no one is up for it, I'll do it myself...
I discovered this film literally inside a box. The DVD was edited by a certain Francisco Herrera, a disc that was about to die from so many scratches and that I was lucky enough to rescue by making a copy. The premise made it seem like a rather original absurd comedy, at that time it wasn't even on "Filmaffinity", and it had a sad "IMDB" listing, and the only trailer that was there had been made by the creators of the DVD, who sold it with this phrase "Imagine that World War III breaks out, and nobody goes...".
I thought I was going to find a bad comedy, but one that would at least make me laugh a little... But the truth is... I found a unique museum piece...
The plot of this film is about a German researcher who travels to Toledo because he thinks that Hitler could have hidden there after the war. But who does he find? A short man called Juan Pérez, who is always accompanied by a girl, Eva, and a magician who carries a ventriloquist doll of Hitler.
As I said, it seems like an absurd comedy, but suddenly the script disappears... it ceases to exist, and we find a medley of sketches and meaningless scenes with our investigator (Emil), Juan Pérez and with the doll as a recurring joke with its dirty comments. All this filled with archive footage from World War II, shoehorned in without any justification. And of course, they couldn't have forgotten the typical sex scenes of the time, including one with the doll (the most bizarre part of the entire film).
Finally we have a 75-minute film, with 49 minutes of fiction and 26 minutes of archive footage. In the end, do we find any sense? In my opinion, nothing at all. The only thing I keep is the doll's jokes. Nothing more. I saw it out of sheer curiosity, and it has become one of the worst films I have ever seen. Although it is still a bizarre "spectacle" worthy of being recognized and not forgotten in time. Yes, this film exists, and it can boast of having been released on DVD in Spain, unlike many other (and better) ones that were relegated to VHS and BETA tapes. I have, I don't know if I should say it, the small honor of having made this film known in some corners of the Internet. Although I feel more proud of having discovered others... let's be honest.
If you like authentic bizarre movies, this is your film. Now, I don't think you want to see it again, but you do want to recommend it to others, saying: "You have to see it to believe it...". As a curiosity, I showed this film to the creator of the "Cutrecon" festival. To whom I asked at the end of the viewing, "Is this film "pro-Nazi" or "anti-Nazi"?" and his answer was simply "It's so bad, it doesn't even know it..."
I discovered this film literally inside a box. The DVD was edited by a certain Francisco Herrera, a disc that was about to die from so many scratches and that I was lucky enough to rescue by making a copy. The premise made it seem like a rather original absurd comedy, at that time it wasn't even on "Filmaffinity", and it had a sad "IMDB" listing, and the only trailer that was there had been made by the creators of the DVD, who sold it with this phrase "Imagine that World War III breaks out, and nobody goes...".
I thought I was going to find a bad comedy, but one that would at least make me laugh a little... But the truth is... I found a unique museum piece...
The plot of this film is about a German researcher who travels to Toledo because he thinks that Hitler could have hidden there after the war. But who does he find? A short man called Juan Pérez, who is always accompanied by a girl, Eva, and a magician who carries a ventriloquist doll of Hitler.
As I said, it seems like an absurd comedy, but suddenly the script disappears... it ceases to exist, and we find a medley of sketches and meaningless scenes with our investigator (Emil), Juan Pérez and with the doll as a recurring joke with its dirty comments. All this filled with archive footage from World War II, shoehorned in without any justification. And of course, they couldn't have forgotten the typical sex scenes of the time, including one with the doll (the most bizarre part of the entire film).
Finally we have a 75-minute film, with 49 minutes of fiction and 26 minutes of archive footage. In the end, do we find any sense? In my opinion, nothing at all. The only thing I keep is the doll's jokes. Nothing more. I saw it out of sheer curiosity, and it has become one of the worst films I have ever seen. Although it is still a bizarre "spectacle" worthy of being recognized and not forgotten in time. Yes, this film exists, and it can boast of having been released on DVD in Spain, unlike many other (and better) ones that were relegated to VHS and BETA tapes. I have, I don't know if I should say it, the small honor of having made this film known in some corners of the Internet. Although I feel more proud of having discovered others... let's be honest.
If you like authentic bizarre movies, this is your film. Now, I don't think you want to see it again, but you do want to recommend it to others, saying: "You have to see it to believe it...". As a curiosity, I showed this film to the creator of the "Cutrecon" festival. To whom I asked at the end of the viewing, "Is this film "pro-Nazi" or "anti-Nazi"?" and his answer was simply "It's so bad, it doesn't even know it..."
