parkergw Reviews

Star Trek (2009)

Incompetent writing, too loud, space western

[2/10 · 16 May 2009]

My precognition kicked in because I grabbed a paper napkin from the popcorn buttering station before I went in. I rolled it into a tight cylinder, tore off two inch long pieces, and stuck them in my ears. Thank goodness I did that, because most of the soundtrack is running at 110-130 decibels. I did like the nostalgia of seeing representations of the original cast as younger people. While Kirk, Spock, and McCoy looked a fair amount like the originals, Chekov, Sulu, Scotty, and Spock's father didn't resemble the first actors. Ohura, didn't look too much like the original, but she was beautiful enough that I could forgive them that.

The story was flaky and dumb - far too much of the shoot-em-up and protracted car chase mentality. I got really tired of the already way overdone cliché of the hero hanging over a precipice by his fingertips, so it was nauseating to put Kirk in that situation FOUR, count 'em, four times in the movie, starting as a little boy, and then with a villain trying to stomp on his fingers in two of those episodes.

Far too much noise, far too much repetition, quite a few inconsistencies with the original story situations, more fantasy and less Si-Fi.

I'm looking forward to the next in the series only if they get rid of the two writers who did this one.

Be Kind Rewind (2008)

Irrational idea. Moronic characters.

[1/10 · 11 March 2008]

Really dumb premise that just doesn't work. Jack Black is probably the worst actor of the century. Jokes about stupid people aren't really funny, but watching two hours of the same stupid joke over and over is just painful. I realize poor Mia Farrow needed to be in some film to make a few bucks, but I didn't realize she had to prostitute herself to that extent.

The only character I could begin to enjoy was the young woman who was a foil for Black. I hope she can get away from Black and work in a real movie.

I had great hopes when Black was being electrocuted, but he survived. Being magnetic is dumb enough, but being magnetic to aluminum foil is even more stupid. And, what was with the moronic sieves and junk they wore on their heads at the beginning of the movie? Just more stupidity.

No beginning, no plot, no character development, no place to go, and no resolution. Just plain horrible.

Sea of Dreams (2006)

Very weak story

[1/10 · 25 September 2007]

I agree that the female lead is beautiful and the photography very good, but that's it. This movie is designed for an illiterate, superstitious audience. It's all about silly religious mythology that most religions have outgrown, and doesn't really go anywhere.

The lead as a little girl and an a young teen were also quite cute as were the other young people. The acting was spotty at best. Such things as gold fish, black water, a plethora of beached starfish were all taken as signs from some powerful fairytale entity rather than even considering any natural solution.

This is the kind of movie that could have been metaphorical, an allegory, or a morality tale. I figured that would have been its only saving grace,but it just didn't have any of these as the basis for the story.

The guy in front of us at the theater fell asleep and his wife had to wake him at the end of the movie. I figure he was the fortunate one. Terrible waste of my time.

The only good part was that my girlfriend paid for the tickets as a birthday present for me. I would have hated to throw the admission money away.

Jerry