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Cuties (2020)
6/10
Mediocre film blown out of proportion due to controversy
26 April 2023
Warning: Spoilers
This is competent French filmmaking in the service of a weak screenplay with a dubious message. The plot: a modest girl from a traditional Senegalese Muslim background, whose father has left home and is going to bring back a second wife, enters secondary school (11 years old) and gets sucked in to the toxic culture and social milieu she encounters there. And the message: she rejects the sluttiness and the inane lewd gyrating that modern Western culture's "liberté d'expression" has afforded her, and returns home but NOT as the prodigal daughter who wishes to come back into the fold; rather she both rejects the sexual depravity of her dancing world as well as the stifling submission of her traditional culture. The message appears to be a feminist one: that the woman should reject sexual objectification and the patriarchal traditions which oppress her, and go her own way.

But none of that is why people care about this film. They only care (even if they haven't actually seen it) that it shows 11 year old girls twerking in front of a camera which doesn't shy away from them.

How ironic that the neurotic obsession of Western commentators with this film's content probably did more harm, via a Streisand effect, that the film itself could possibly ever have done.

On that score I can only conclude that Cuties is not a symptom of some civilizational degeneracy or decline, as some are wont to suggest, but rather just a contingent element which has become the target of the zeitgeist's morbid ruminations.
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2/10
Tasteless and talentless parody of a subject deserving more care
10 March 2023
A film as terrible as this doesn't deserve exhaustive reviews and careful essays of film criticism.

It is an amateurish attempt, and in my view insulting, at tackling a notoriously sensitive subject matter. It does so tastelessly, unimaginatively and with performances so mediocre they border on caricature and parody, to the point one honestly wonders if this whole thing isn't a big joke at the viewer's expense.

I will say this: the imbeciles (Karl Zéro) complaining this film was "censored" should be reminded that distributing a film costs money. Who in their right mind, after surviving the ordeal of sitting through a screening of this turd, would want to distribute it? On top of that, the director saw fit to add insult to injury: a naked jab at the main French political party at the time, the "UMP", satirized in the film, with inspired subtlety, through the villain's candidacy as a member of the "UMPF"...

Many hundreds of films get made every year. Not all deserve to be screened at the cinema. This one certainly didn't.
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Stranger Things (2016–2025)
5/10
Phoning it in after just one year
29 October 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Not as big of a disappointment as True Detective: Season 2, but close.

This series, unlike TD, had the advantage of giving us the same characters and locations we came to know (and perhaps love) in the first season -- enough familiarity to satisfy the casual viewer at any rate, but hardly quality TV. Just as with True Detective, I kept wondering whether to turn it off, whereas season 1 was binge fodder if I ever saw it.

What's really frustrating, though, is seeing all the deliberate yet unnecessary missteps made by the Duffer brothers. They got into their heads that because it would be unfair to the supporting cast or because we might be fed up with Mike that it would be a good idea to offer these same secondary characters more screen time. Wrong. Dustin was given some of the most cringe-worthy and unbelievable lines of dialogue in the whole series, and Lucas's forced romance with Max had zero chemistry. We also had to deal with a tedious love triangle (surrounding Nancy) that had already been given satisfactory closure at the end of season one.

Next, why all the off-tone scenes? The inexplicable moment in which Billy and Mike's mom have an impromptu flirting session should clearly have been cut from the final product. What about the absurd bond that Dustin appears to create with the demodog?

All this contributed to turning what would have perhaps been a passable-to-mediocre sequel into something genuinely bad.

The Duffer Brothers would do best to take a long break from screen-writing until they find some real inspiration, rather than continue phoning it in for big bucks and fan service, they lest they ruin what could have been a unique and valuable franchise. And please, let's just pretend Chicago and episode 7 never even happened!
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Twin Peaks (2017)
9/10
A mass LYNCHING
3 June 2017
Warning: Spoilers
After 4 episodes, I can't decide what I like most about the show: the constant and obscure references, the puzzles that transcend time and space, the semblance of coherence spanning more than 25 years. Is it simply the gratuity with which Lynch creates desires and expectations on screen and then immediately fulfils them for me? Or is it the fact that he has managed to trigger so many people. I feel privileged to enjoy a television programme that so many plebeians seem to have no time for.

Anyway. So many questions remain unanswered. The alien? The golden pearl? Major Briggs? The blue rose? And what about Judy? JUDY? I don't think a TV show has borne so much interrogation since Tinker Tailor was broadcast back in 1979. This is a magical moment. It's like a dream.
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9/10
The conclusion
19 October 2009
Warning: Spoilers
I feel like I have to add a comment to this film, because I believe that it has been misunderstood, just as Eyes Wide Shut may have been misunderstood. In fact, it is not a coincidence that I bring up the name of Kubrick's last film: both are similar in themes, and share a strangely similar style.

When I first heard of this, my thoughts were: it was either a failure, or people were repulsed by the peculiar and taboo theme of female ejaculation (a very real phenomenon, I assure you, though it was exaggerated here). When I finished watching, I was slightly puzzled, but also concluded that my second hunch was probably correct. Nonetheless, this happens to be the most different film made by Imamura, so one can expect for it to have its lot of skeptics; people were disappointed.

Interestingly, Kubrick seems to have drawn very similar conclusions in Eyes Wide Shut, which became his obituary: the couple decide to leave things be, to forget about the odd things that had happened, and just get a healthy relationship working again. The film is about sex. Warm Water is also about sex. Imamura's conclusion did have an extra element though: a wise old bugger who happened to be decidedly insightful about the matters of the nature of man -- Taro. The character brings an intriguing, though not altogether novel, take on society, which is in effect a synthesis of much of what Imamura has previously expressed in his films.

I believe that Taro is Imamura.
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6/10
Journey to the East
13 April 2009
Warning: Spoilers
This is perhaps not so much a review of the film per se, as it is a reflection on the Dragon Ball Evolution phenomenon.

For obvious reasons I have abbreviated the title of the Manga and the film in this review: from now on, Dragon Ball Evolution will be referred to as DBE.

For those DB fans who know their stuff, who understand the origins of the DB adventure tale, who understand where Toriyama delved for inspiration in inventing the character of Son Goku, appreciating the filmed adaptation of what could now be called a mythic franchise might be a smaller ask than for most. You see, DBE is alien to DBZ; it differs in more than its form of media. What the creators of this odd Hollywood production have done -- and this is perhaps worthy of some praise -- is searched at the core and heart of what DB is about. They understood, at least in part, the importance of the themes of initiation and innocence which pervade the early tomes of the DB saga. DBE tries to reflect this atmosphere and open the DB universe to the ignorant public.

It is often interesting to thoroughly study the popular reception of an adaptation of this kind, especially when the subject matter for the film is not already in a linear form. When novels or plays are transposed onto the big screen, the eagerly anticipating fan can expect something specific – he already has an outline of the movie in his mind. I suppose that, in such a situation, the fan's expectations are justified, and his opinion of the final product is based on more than thin air. But as far as DB is concerned, this…excuse is no more. No doubt each fan had his own personal idea and opinion of what the DB film should be. Some people would have envisaged an intricate original plot, others would have imagined their favourite characters acting out in their best light, a few would have hoped for a transposition of cult scenes from the Anime or Manga. Each individual would have, safely and comfortably, established in their own mind a perfect idea of what the ideal adaptation would be, catered to himself. Obviously, no two people can share the exact same ideas. Moreover, no one really has the right to expect anything from such an adaptation; unless someone were to have invented and planned on paper an adaptation of his own, and that his version of DB were to have been met more warmly by an objective public – indeed, unless that person were to have been proved more clever than the whole production crew –, he really has no right to say:

--They made a mess of it!

One could even call it foolish to criticise a film for not following a very personal and intimate ideal or fantasy. To exacerbate this problem, more often than not, most of the childish complaints directed towards the film issue from minds unprepared to present their own examples of the perfect adaptation.

It would be too easy to string out a web of accusations without putting these very views into question. No doubt DBE has its faults, but the mistake would be to selfishly assume that they consist mainly of details that are not in accordance with one's personal ideal.

The Hollywood machine turned DBE into a strange specimen of marketing combined with the influence of the popular DB franchise. What resulted is a kind of crossbred mutant, half Japanese, half American. The directors saw the need to bring it back to home, thus drastically changing the DB universe; Son Goku suddenly resembles a close to ordinary American college student who goes to school every day. In addition, a large portion of the cast is American, including Bulma, although she seems to be hiding behind a strange culture camouflage. It's hard to say what she's supposed to be. In fact, this lack of consistency and logic plagues most areas of the movie. While it primarily concentrates on martial arts and various Asian traits and traditions, the environment and attitudes of most of the characters are strikingly Western. Why is Son Goku Caucasian? Why is Bulma dressed up like a cos-play aficionado? Why is Roshi younger than Son Gohan? Why does he live in the middle of the city for that matter? Many of these questions are hard to justify, but one underlying aspect of DB seems to be neglected whenever such accusations against the film crop up. If one looks back, closely, at the original Manga, the lack of sense and grounding in reality is far more evident. Some characters are Asian, others Caucasian; some are not even human; giants and dinosaurs roam the land; everyone speaks the same language; Goku is 14 yet looks like a baby, etc. Nonetheless, because it is a cartoon, such details are…forgiven. It seems like the directors were slightly carried away when transferring such diverse elements onto the big screen. Unfortunately, they seem to have forgotten that motion pictures demand an extra layer of subtlety.

DBE had to face seemingly insurmountable obstacles, perhaps the same ones that warranted why few people three years ago could have hoped, in their wildest dreams, that a live action feature film could be made. DB is a story that was written and designed to be told through drawings. The film medium simply is not suited for it. The whole…soul, the very identity of DB would have had to be discarded. Well, it seems the producers went half-way in that respect; but the soul is still there. Because, in fact, DBE is an adventure and it carries much of the magic and mystery of the original tale with it.
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Jane Eyre (1983)
9/10
The quintessence of a novel on screen
5 January 2009
If a more masterful adaptation than this one even existed, you need not look for it; you will find all and more in this near-perfect presentation of Charlotte Brontë's masterpiece.

Rarely have I seen a film that would urge me to read the novel on which it was based, but I admit to that here. Although I have not read Jane Eyre, I am convinced that I have missed very little in the way of dialogue and plot or of intensity and emotion. I only wish to explore the novel due to the immense curiosity and emotion that this masterpiece has stirred within me.

I need not divulge anything in the way of plot here. Let me just say this: if you are perhaps unsure as to whether you should watch or read the beautiful story that is Jane Eyre, I implore you to doubt no more! Every atom of might and magic that has reared Jane Eyre as a popular classic of English literature has successfully been captured in this film.

What Brontë did not bring herself, Clarke and Dalton managed to translate in the limelight with stupendous intensity. The movie's success is, no doubt, due in no small part to their acting prowess.

Love Jane Eyre or hate her, but appreciate the richness, the vitality, the truth of the story; love the characters; love the actors; all just as you would love what is great in cinema.
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