moonbeaver Reviews

The Vast of Night (2019)

Real Review: Great Mystery With a Fantastic Script

[30 May 2020]

I have no affiliation with this film.

The script is brilliant. Definitely out of the box with this one.

The filmmakers here have clear vision. After the first few minutes of dialogue, I felt safe in the hands of the director. Every detail of this film is carefully planned and executed. There are some extremely long takes which are fun to watch, the camera following the actors through the town. The dialogue is just coming at you, and the plot drives forward brilliantly. Some commenters said that the film is slow. That is not true, it's actually packed with fast moving drama. There are a few scenes when they slow it down very intentionally.

It's a film that demands your attention. It doesn't treat the audience like idiots. You have to keep up. The focus is on characters, dialogue, atmosphere, music, sound, not special FX. The director is trying to achieve something different than the average hollywood film. Having said that, it still remains quite accessible and fun. Go along for the ride it's worth it.

I have to say the performance by Sierra McCormick was stunning. She was absolutely convincing in her role. Brilliant.

This movie is fun. I had a blast.

The Divide (2011)

Very difficult to review.

[6/10 · 1 April 2012]

After the first 20 minutes I would have given The Divide a 1/10. The characters are cliché and the dialogue is so cringeworthy that any self-respecting horror lover would quickly roll their eyes.

So I stopped the movie. I could've sworn I'd seen very good comments about the fil here on IMDb. I flipped open my laptop, re-read some of the reviews and sure enough, they were mostly positive.

Weird. Rarely a mention of the laughable acting and joke of a script. I decided to watch on.

It suddenly got better. The acting remained appalling but they introduced a sci-fi element that was kind of cool. The intensity ramped up and I became locked into the film. I watched it through to the end. All the way 'til the end of the credits. I was left with this very bad feeling. Very bad indeed. I guess it reminded me of being a scared kid. I'm not talking about my-brother-freaked-me-out-on-Halloween scared, I'm talking about I-saw-my-neighbour-drown-a-bunch-of-puppies-in-a-barrel scared.

Remember when you were seven years old? Did you ever see something you were much too young to see? Remember that feeling? Scared and a bit ashamed? Seeing something you're just not emotionally mature enough to handle? Remember how your heart raced?

Did you ever want to un-see something? I want to un-see The Divide.

One part of me wants to rate it a zero. But I'm a horror fan and it scared me, riveted me. How can I rate it less than a six? I would prefer I never saw the movie. So perhaps that makes it 'good', I'm not sure. It depends. I mean horror is supposed to freak you out. And it really has some original story elements. I suppose I respect it. Bottom line, it gave me nightmares. How can give a horror film that gave me nightmares less than a six?

Having said all that, every copy of this film should be incinerated and the ashes buried somewhere in the arctic tundra, away from people.

Some films require you to commit. Some demand a hefty price. For The Divide, it's a price that must be paid in advance and there are no refunds.

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)

For Horror Fans

[8/10 · 23 October 2010]

I'm a film lover and a horror fan. I can suspend disbelief perhaps a little better than others. When I watched 'The Sixth Sense', I didn't see the ending coming. I'm not sitting in a horror film trying to fault the writer and the director.

I want to like it until I don't.

The Human Centipede is a story conjured in a mind much different than yours or mine. When you watch the film you and you begin to put two and two together you'll laugh a little. And if you're watching it with your girlfriend you'll probably start making a few jokes, trying to break the tension. But there's a part of you deep down that isn't laughing. It's crawling into a dark corner.

Kudos to the writer for having the integrity to write it. To the producers for financing it. To the actors for taking it seriously, knowing it could be the last role in their careers.

To make a seasoned horror fan like myself turn away, to reach for the fast-forward button, I think that's an accomplishment. And not because of simple gore, it's not that. It's because the film forces you to put yourself in their shoes.

If you're on the fence about watching this film, you don't need to read any reviews. Just look at the title.

The title is: 'The Human Centipede (first sequence)'. Now, say it out loud. It's called: The Human Centipede (first sequence).