kjf2007-1 Reviews

Unfriended (2014)

Finally, a movie WORSE than ESCAPE FROM TOMORROW

[1/10 · 9 June 2016]

You cannot even call this thing

a movie - it is more like a screen capture. I watched this

ONLY because I have a huge crush on Renee Olstead, and she is totally

WASTED in this, never even appearing in more than a quarter of the screen at a time.

Go watch grass grow or paint dry instead, far more rewarding endeavors.

Call me crazy, but when I sit down to watch a MOVIE I want to see a full screen MOVIE, NOT a web browser.

If you want to screen the worst double bill of all time I would suggest combining your viewing of this with ESCAPE FROM TOMORROW. You'll be begging to escape from your theater.

Madoff (2016)

Not enough of the greed or the aftermath is shown

[5/10 · 6 February 2016]

Considering that they drag this out over nearly 3 full hours you would think you'd see it all. Not nearly enough is shown of how the Madoffs lived high on the hog for decades. And far too much time is spent leading up to the eventual crash and not enough is shown of the aftermath. If Madoff had only preyed upon the filthy rich he would have been far more forgivable, but he took down quite a few smaller folks in his fall from grace. To my way of thinking, Mark Madoff comes off as less redeemable than his father even though Mark supposedly had no knowledge of the ponzi scheme. What sort of son disowns his own father over a white collar crime?

The great irony in this tale is that ALL of Wall Street is one huge ponzi scheme. The eventual collapse will one day make Madoff a forgotten footnote. It's the age old truth folks - if an investment seems too good to be true, it is.

Overall an entertaining movie best viewed at double speed. It was nice to see Richard Dreyfus and Charles Grodin again.

The Dead Zone (2002–2007)

Frustratingly CLOSE to a great show

[7/10 · 4 August 2014]

First off, let me say I read the book by Stephen King, AND I saw the original movie with Christopher Walken. Book gets a 10, Walken movie gets a 9, this series gets a 7 bordering on 8, totally due to shortcomings in the continuity and plot resolution. WARNING SPOILERS FOLLOW: For one, I see no excuse for replacing the actor who played JJ in the final season of only 13 episodes. I also see ZERO reason for killing off Walt. And perhaps WORST of all, the last episode titled DENOUEMENT provides anything BUT resolution, leaving the ultimate question of the series as to "How will Johnny avert Armageddon?" totally up in the air. This series reminds me of the XFILES in that it truly SHINES when it serves up an independent episode with its own inherent plot rather than meandering down the soap opera of conspiracy and Armageddon which becomes increasingly convoluted as the seasons progress. There are several episodes in the series which I would give a ZERO if I could, most notably the series FINALE which resolves NOTHING, and the idiotic episode where the US government uses Johnny to fight terrorists, and the obligatory major yawn of a boxing episode. But thankfully there are MORE episodes which deserve a 10 in their own right, than there are duds. I give a special tip of the hat to ANTHONY MICHAEL HALL who truly shines as Johnny. At the beginning I thought it might be difficult to get the image of that elephant lamp out of my head from THE BREAKFAST CLUB, but Mr. Hall proved he has range as an actor. Also a much appreciated bonus in the eye candy category when Jennifer Finnegan shows up as an occasional guest star starting in Season 4. THE DEAD ZONE is another example of a show which ended far too soon. Truly an IDEAL premise for a TV series. I will NEVER begin to understand how NFL football can be around until the end of time but a great series like this only runs for 6 seasons, and only half seasons at that.

SeaQuest 2032 (1993–1996)

THINK: Star Trek Voyager, but wetter

[8/10 · 2 July 2014]

I disagree with what seems to be a majority of other reviewers that this show goes downhill after Season 1. If anything I feel it improves as it goes along, though admittedly NEVER achieves what definitely SHOULD have been perfection given the quality of talent this show had both behind and in front of the cameras. If you enjoy creative science fiction, you will enjoy SEA QUEST, and I believe you will find the 2nd season to be the best of the 3. The stories are creative and it is both very well acted and well written. Character development is sadly lacking though, which I think is the fatal flaw of SEA QUEST. Definitely NOT on a par with STAR TREK VOYAGER here. You find yourself wishing a lot of things happened which never do especially in terms of crew interaction. SEAQUEST also tries to do far too much in its time frame. It seems like nearly every show involves a near end of the universe which SEAQUEST must somehow defuse within 45 minutes.

So, in a nutshell:

ON THE PLUS SIDE:

1: ROY SCHEIDER - the man is always fun to watch, and SEAQUEST pays a few subtle homages to the JAWS legacy along the way...

2: A very young (18) BRITTANY MURPHY shows up cute as a button near the end of Season 3.

3: For those who like dolphins, DARWIN is a treat.

4: Stories are creative, more so starting in Season 2.

SHORTCOMINGS:

1: Not enough character development, too busy trying to save the world

2: Too many plodding exterior underwater shots of the vessels

3: Theme music is a snooze - they could have used a ditty by Selena Gomez

4: The series ends just as it seems to be hitting its stride - typical network shortsightedness - I suppose NFL NBA and NASCAR are more important.

5: Not enough eye candy - the female cast members are attractive, but not used to their full potential (no bikinis sad to say), and attractive guest stars are few and far between.

6: Other than Darwin the dolphin star, there is almost no other sea life in the show.

7: The whole Mark Hamill storyline really is remarkably annoying. SPOILER HERE, STOP NOW IF YOU CARE: This show actually starts out in 2022 for the first season and then somewhere along the line Luke Skywalker shows up and kidnaps the whole ship in a big UFO to another planet to win some pointless war, then returns it 10 years in the future. This premise of a UFO snatching up the whole ship and whisking it away to another planet HAD a lot of potential, but in the end just squandered its special effects budget on a silly pointless story. Plus, Mark Hamill is one of the most overrated actors of all time. Seriously, if not for STAR WARS he'd be selling knives on 4am infomercials.

8: DEUS EX MACHINA happens FAR too often in this show.

All in all though, well worth watching. I've sat through far worse.

Escape from Tomorrow (2013)

Clockwork Orange for the Disney Crowd

[3/10 · 28 November 2013]

I'm thrilled to have finally escaped from ESCAPE FROM TOMORROW. If you thought Stanley Kubrick was a genius, you'll probably give this movie a 10. It is annoying enough to begin with that the entire movie is shot in black and white, although why waste color on this dreck. If you expect this movie to deliver some sort of defined resolution at its conclusion, don't waste over an hour of your life. To best sum up the reason for this film's existence, it would appear that the director just wanted to see if he could possibly film a "movie" on Disney property without their consent and live to tell the tale. So the absence of a script was not a deterrent. The objective seems to have been just keep injecting enough weirdness into the mix to make the viewer think, this must all be leading somewhere, right? Trust me - it doesn't. The angle of an older married man becoming obsessed with two teenage girls at a theme park and following them around from ride to ride DOES have merit for a highly entertaining movie, but sadly that shred of promise is totally lost in this movie as the girls in this cast are not worth following and neither is this film. My ultimate nightmare double bill: ESCAPE FROM TOMORROW and JUSTIN BIEBER LIVE IN CONCERT.

Batman: The Animated Series (1992–1995)

GREAT little hidden gem of a show

[9/10 · 22 September 2012]

I would have given this show a 10 if it had more appearances from POISON IVY and BATGIRL. These two characters truly deserve to each be spun out into their own shows. POISON IVY is simply the PERFECT villainess, gorgeous yet twisted, just like all of my ex wives! The feature which sets BATMAN so far above other shows of its ilk is that all of the villains have redeeming qualities. You find yourself constantly torn between loving to hate them or hating to love them. If you enjoyed the 1960s ADAM WEST version of Batman, you will definitely appreciate this show which is a bit darker, but still maintains a healthy tongue-in-cheek sense of humor throughout. The animation is a bit crude, but highly watchable and there are guest voice over appearances from a lot of really interesting actors, such as "Mr. Hand" from FAST TIMES AT RIDGMONT HIGH and Luke SKYWALKER himself. What more can one ask of a cartoon?

Rio (2011)

If you've ever loved a bird, you will LOVE this movie

[10/10 · 1 December 2011]

Anyone who has ever been fortunate enough to have spent part of their life with a feathered friend, be they parakeet or macaw or pigeon, will be glad they saw this movie. RIO has it ALL - loath-able villains and lovable heroes. My only strike against this movie is the musical score is sorely lacking. They should have brought in Selena Gomez for the soundtrack. Despite this, RIO still rates a 10 from me. It made me laugh and it made me cry - isn't that what you want in a movie? RIO will also capture your heart if you are an 8 year old at heart, trapped in a much older body, such as myself. RIO belongs right next to TOY STORY in the pantheon of best animated motion pictures of all time.

Wizards of Waverly Place (2007–2012)

I'm over 40, and i LOVE this show!

[10/10 · 15 October 2011]

Wizards of Waverly Place is a RARE gem in the vast sea of TV wasteland. This show is superbly written, incredibly well cast, and very well acted. If you like subtle "inside-joke" type humor - this show is for you. Yet at the same time it also does more than enough obvious physical humor to keep younger and more simple-minded viewers enthralled. For example, in one episode there is a bumbling weatherman named BAXTER KNIGHT. A hilarious homage to Ted Baxter, played by Ted Knight, on the Mary Tyler Moore Show more than 30 years ago - this reference will be totally lost on 99% of the viewing audience since few were born prior to 2000. In another episode, Selena steals the show by greedily sloughing down all the chocolate deserts on everyone's plates in a fancy restaurant. In that regard, Waverly Place is very similar to all those classic LOONEY TUNES cartoons we all know and love - it can appeal to you on both a very simple AND a very cerebral level. Young children who watch this show today can go back and watch it again in 20 years and they will have an entirely new appreciation all over again, on a whole new level. The entire cast is a joy to watch, but a special tip of the hat to Selena Gomez who is a true delight. This girl shines both as an actress and as a singer. Plus, she is a real sweetheart and totally deserves all the future success she is guaranteed to achieve. Unlike the Lindsays and Britneys of our sad generation, Selena sets a shining example of perfection as a performer, coupled with graceful elegance as a young lady - giving her legions of young fans a more than worthy role model. Selena has released three albums to date, and each one has been better than the last, which is no small feat considering they were all amazing. Most artists today release an album featuring one or two good songs, and 10 really bad ones. Not Selena - ALL of her songs are music to my ears. Here's hoping Waverly goes on at least 5 more seasons - add more music to the show and it can't miss! Thanks yet again to Disney for creating an environment that fosters creative and unique programming of enduring value for generations of all ages.

H2O: Just Add Water (2006–2010)

WAY Better than SPLASH

[10/10 · 25 September 2010]

This is the BEST new show I've seen in many years, and I've been watching television since 1966. The effects are superb, the actors are both very attractive and very talented. And the Australian accents make it all the more adorable. "MERMAID" just sounds SO much better when it rolls off the tongue of a beautiful Australian actress. You have to watch this show from the start, and give it until season 2 to really hit its stride. It gets very humorous in season 2 - truly a joy to watch. Great for all ages - trust me on this one - i know my mermaids! If this show had an advertising budget behind it it would have been a super smash. Oh and yes I agree - the music is also excellent especially the theme song NO ORDINARY GIRL. I just LOVE this show! If you only watch ONE EPISODE - be sure its SEASON 2 episode 15 IRRESISTIBLE. This is by far the funniest of all the episodes, some of the humor will be lost on you if you haven't seen the prior shows, but it can stand on its own just fine. I'm off to roll around in some ambergris and shamelessly throw myself at the cast...