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Reviews
Dead Trigger (2017)
Horrible resident evil rip off.
Just watch resident evil. This is an insult to the franchise. Trying to mix suicide squad with resident evil and failing straight to video.
I didn't recognize DL at first, but as soon as I looked closer I realized it was him going Rambo.
It is what it is. A resident evil rip off. Nothing more. Nothing less. Terminal City and rip off Unbrella Corporation and zombies. That's all this is.
Ah-ga-ssi (2016)
Breathtakingly beautiful
As a lover of historical drama regardless of which continent it comes from, I have a special soft spot for Japanese and Korean films of this nature.
Not since Farewell My Concubine have I seen such a sprawling epic as this. The direction is impeccable and the two leads immerse themselves in their roles. You truly believe they each embody their respective characters. The gentle blossoming of their relationship is not played out for the male gaze and shows a depth of tenderness you rarely find in western films of similar genre.
The sets are lush and you can practically smell the blossoms through the screen, and the oils and rose petals gently perfuming our lady's bath. It is a feast for the senses from the costumes to the exterior shots, this is a film of staggering beauty. Also, sapphic love in all its tenderness is there not to feed the male fantasy but is there because it truly belongs there. The loving exchanges are beautifully filmed and tender in their exchange. Beautiful all around.
If you like historical drama ( those that may take artistic liberties for stake of the story ) beautiful sets and exquisite costuming and corsetry ( and a tender and believable story to go along with it ) DO NOT let this film pass you buy. I was lucky enough to catch this before it was due to leave Amazon Prime, it had been a film I glanced at and then almost forgot to get back to. I am so glad I did not miss this beautiful film. I will definitely be buying a copy.
This is a solid 10/10 and should be on everyone's to watch list.
After the Outbreak (2017)
Agonizingly boring with characters you're hoping will die
Apparently this is a trilogy of films and I like to watch things in order, so I thought I would give it a try. The movie is a lot of dialog, more dialog and an annoying couple whose soul purpose in this apocalypse is to screw like rabbits. I find the characters whiny and one dimensional, we've seen these types in other zombie series' that were done much better. I get this is a shoestring budget, but the actors have about much talent as porn stars; which is to say none at all.
The character of Tom is especially loathsome, not just in appearance but in how he is written. Misogynistic pig who treats anyone he's not sticking his dick in as expendable. Your classic machismo jerk off. That does not make for a great character study, you just want him dead from the moment he opens his mouth. The other one, the brooding blondes don't offer anything else to their characters. Tom's girlfriend is equally poorly written, but seems to be trying to give something to the character, other than bra and panty shots.
Honestly, how many times does this ugly munter cast as Tom and whatshername have to sneak off for a quickly? It's literally all they do and when they're not screwing Captain forehead is nitpicking and nothing more. He's just annoying and I wanted him to die as soon as I looked at him. His whole look is disgusting. It's snarky to pick apart characters appearances, but he's just bloaty the frog with an unfortunate hairline. If you can't get someone who can act, can you at least cast someone that looks like they aren't an incel that crawled out of their mother's basement? Make the sex addict at least halfway attractive so every time he mentions getting it on, you don't immediately want to vomit in your mouth.
Petty, petty, petty I know. The film is so unremarkable that I am left to critique receding hairlines instead of anything actually of note. This just feels like first year film project material and the claustrophobic setting stuffed with characters you'd rather see dead that survive is not good character development. It's like Zombie Jersey Shore. I'm going to try and sufffer through the other movies in order, I accidentally watched the second on part way through before I found out it was a series. Now I'm suffering through it again, I guess.
Do yourself a favor and skip, the dry and dragging dialogues and thoroughly unlikeable characters make this an exercise in irritation.
The Kindred (2021)
Incredibly boring
Everyone in this film, aside from the actor playing Frank is just flat and boring. The perpetual victimhood of the lead actress and the over abundance of the lead actors teeth...it's all just too much.
There's so much scenery chewing in this film that I'm surprised there's any set left by the end of the first 15 minutes. This film is full of tropes we've already seen in other movies. This isn't a horror, it is trying to be something between The Changeling and Rosemary's baby and fails both miserably. Random creepy dead children with no connection to anything does not a storyline make.
Say yourself the boredom and go watch Rick and Morty.
Friend Request (2013)
You lost me at Shutterstock
I actually had to rewind and screencap this because I was so floored by it. Who is so cheap as to put a watermarked image in their own film. They didn't even pay for it!!
That right there is all you need to know about this piece of crap movie and no talents attached to it. If you can't pay 3.99 for use of shutterstock footage, you shouldn't be making movies.
Sad and pathetic. If I could rate this lower than 1 I would. Deep dive into the negative digits for this pos. Watch Prom Ride instead, that's another piece of garbage but they at least had the rights to the music they used. Unbelievable.
Are You Scared? (2006)
When you're rooting for every victim to die
It's time to pack it in. This isn't even homage to Saw, it is a low budget butchering of it. Lions Gate films can eat a big fat sack. Not a single character was a sympathetic one, they all reminded me of my sister and her stupid friends and what I'd like to happen to them.
Screeching harpy voices and people who couldn't act their way of out a wet paper bag combined with the completely inane script, makes for painful watching.
Lions Gate is guilty of bringing us Leprechaun and here we are stuck with Jennifer Aniston to this day. Thanks for that.
Annoying black guy character, annoying Jock character and a bunch of dumb girls in peril that you will want to see dead in a blatant Saw ripoff. Don't waste your time or brain cells. The direction and the acting make this look like a first year film project.
Crow Valley (2022)
Unoriginal
This is a film by a dude who desperately wants his name to be out there. Playing three roles, all of them poorly, he should have hired actual actors to give these one dimensional tropes some actual grit. I hated both characters and wanted to see them both dead before movies end. Don't waste your time on this garbage.