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Reviews
Malignant (2021)
Great flick, even if it is from s.7 ep.10 of Tales from the Crypt ;)
My local paper gave this a 25/100. Another reason I'm glad I unsubscribed from the rag. This was fun. No it's not some piece of grand-meaning cinema, but it is a creepy cool rollercoaster with a nice antagonist who well deserves to be included in the iconic echelon of horror monsters.
Cool concept, although basically episode 10 from season 7 of Tales from the Crypt. It expounded upon that premise and took the notion to greater heights that kept the story enjoyable.
The cast wasn't great, but they weren't bad either. Don't watch horror for great acting. That's like going to a steakhouse for a great salad.
Some of the scenes dragged on a hair long. Less is more and all that. But some shots were invigorating, one was even captivating.
And you have to laugh at some of the moments. I think those laughs say something about the person you are, or the people with whom you're watching, the the intent or timing of the movie itself. The humor is found in the tragic. It's a horror movie. It's ok.
All in all I would recommend this! Great job.
Those Who Wish Me Dead (2021)
There's a plot, there's just no story.
What's the German word for something where you're told a meaning exists underneath something you're given; a book; a film; a show, but then it's never revealed? I'll tell you at the end of this review.
Much like this film. We're given plot crumbs on a need to know basis, but at the end of the movie you realize you're someone who doesn't need to know. ... wait... yes I am I paid to see this!
The story goes: There are some bad guys trying to find a kid because his dad knew something, then gave that knowledge to the kid. We're told the dad did the right thing. It's a mental mcguffin (yes that's how I spell mcguffin, blame Happy Meals TM).
The characters, I wouldn't even consider one dimensional. .5 dimensional?
There's action. That's ok. Bad guys you hate. Always good. Shooting boom booms, yay.
I added one star for the homage to the Final Fantasy X lightning level, at least that's what I want to believe that scene was about. Also 4 stars is like 1 star for me.
Although I can safely say now that the safety precautions Angelina Jolie showed us throughout the film could get me out of some dangerous situations. I think.
Oh, that German word I said I was going to tell you about? I've decided that you don't need to know, either because you're too stupid to understand, or I'm too stupid to make one up. Kind of like the plot for this film. And we should all assume it's the latter.
Weird Fiction (2018)
Neo-nostalgia made with heart
You can tell when some one person, or a group, cares about what they're doing. Weird Fiction is one of those examples and it shows.
Does it look like it could have been shot on an iPhone? You bet. Are the effects cheesy? Wouldn't have it any other way. A budget which equals that of a McDonald's workers weekly paycheck? I think so.
But what was worked with and what resulted were exponentially different. What the filmmakers did with all these short comings is incredibly impressive.
Get these kids a budget.
The shot angles convey mood well. The soundtrack was great however it came together, and the overall vision wasn't lost on the viewer. Good cohesion.
On the not so great side the acting was abominable, but who watches horror for the acting? Most of the stories, while interesting concepts, ran tried and true concepts but didn't give them the ending that satisfies like one would hope. They felt almost philosophically Japanese in their culminations, maybe even nihilistic, but it works.
Bottom line is these people seemed like they had fun filming the movie, thusly the Mrs. and I had fun watching it. I hope to see more from them. It's a better and MORE HONEST attempt at horror than anything coming out of Hollywood. This is why I'm giving it 8 stars.
The Canal (2014)
The twist you see from a mile away
That's it. That's the review. I could talk about good performances that aren't enough to cut through the fluff, but that twist. You know the one.
The Night Clerk (2020)
Decent concept but poorly executed
When you're able to figure out the whodunnit within the first 45 minutes of a movie, it had better be able to offer the curviest of curve balls. Not so here.
What starts as character piece which delves into an autistic mans desire to better understand his world, turns into a murder mystery that treads a worm path with little attempt to resolve to a satisfactory conclusion.
You'll know who did it within a short time. Unfortunately that leaves little for the viewer to think upon. We watch murder mysteries to satiate that part of us which loves the hunt, loves the chase, and loves being pulled for a loop.
There are also scenes which drag on far too long and so much pointless and meaningless fat in the script you could get diabetes from watching it.
The worst is the completely unbelievable outcome where the prime suspect is able to walk free and no good reason being given.
Netflix has been slipping in the writing department. Give me a shot. Let me write your next movie.
The Outsider (2020)
Saving truth and the future
If the unknown is most terrifying, then of the motives, senselessness must be the most infuriating. When sense can't be made of facts then facts must be found for sense. That is where The Outsider begins. Seeking truth.
The show is about coming to terms with pasts darkness and ushering a way for the future.
Superb acting. Well written and adapted for the screen. The score sets ones nerves on edge. Beautifully shot. Anything Dennis Lehane touches is gold, his books being foremost.
The story begins as a straight forward detective investigation and sways into the unbelievable in a way that makes it anything but.
The ending did not leave me down and I appreciated it because it would be so easy with this subject matter to grow lazy and throw away the end. It happens with so many fantastical stories that veer from the norm. The Outsider did not.
My one star left off was for two reasons. 1) In every Stephen King story there's always at least one outlandish scene that breaks believability and is somewhat cringe worthy. The scene with Jack in the apartment and his mother. I would've opted to leave that more implied than blatantly shown.
Secondly, I very much disagree with the choice to kill Andy Katcavage, Holly's love interest. The reason being that we as viewers want Holly to succeed. We find her in the middle and there she becomes invaluable to humanity. She seeks truth above all else and that is a virtue virtually sought by all. When Andy is killed we are led towards the isle of nihilism. That there is no reason to continue nor a future we would want if we could. Sure, the children untouched would be saved, but what's lost is the not the next generation, but the concept of passing on truth to that next generation. The better choice would be for Andy to be severely wounded, but survive.
This is a wonderful story and encapsulates a wild rainbow of ideas that tug in our souls even if we don't know it, and if we do, can't understand it. This series must be cherished for years to come.
UPDATE: I just learned that the fight between Jack and his mother was not in the book. That brings my review up 1/2 star, but rounded down 😉
The Lodge (2019)
Good acting carries brutality well
Great acting from the supporting cast, notably the little girl. Great psycho drama that plays out well because it has the patience to establish and build on a decent story.
Ending was not terribly satisfying but maybe that the film in a nutshell.
October Faction (2020)
Netflix, hire me to write your next show
Dear Netflix,
I'm currently nearing completion of my first full length novel. I've written countless Dungeons and Dragons campaign and have received great feedback from my players.
I had high hopes for October Faction. It was a ripe setting for intriguing interactions and poignant subject matter. It fell flat for many reasons, but mainly that there is just too much fat that gets in the way of the actual story.
There is too much of an attempt at trying to be clever, (the Jackson Pollock reference) that actually isn't.
I do like stories with racially mixed characters. Something I'd like to see more of being mixed myself.
In closing, I offer my services as a writer for your next sci-fi/horror themed show. I can manifest in reality what October Faction tried to do on paper.
The End.
El hoyo (2019)
We get it. You have a message.
Just think of each minute as a floor. For the first 15, it isn't that bad. After that, you'll wish Miharu, the psycho Asian lady, was your roommate and could end things for you early.
But, like, it's soooo symbolic. And it has metaphors. You say it's over-preachy. How bourgeois of you.
It's an interesting concept mechanically, but carried out with blaring tones of the message it was trying to convey.
What message? Watch the first 15 minutes and the message will be hammered at you hard you'll be as sick as the people below Level 50.
Had decent moments. The gore and horror was sickening (well done). The acting would be really good if this were community college theater.
Did I mention the message? Yay communism. Because those on top will always debase the food for all below and betray everyone else, because, humans?
I would have liked if the film makers could have gotten off their soap box and paid attention to their craft so this movie might be palatable.
What's the one item I would have brought? A DVD copy of Cube. Reading the box would be better than this.