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Reviews
Poker Face (2022)
A risible waste of time from a thought bubble
The movie is unwatchable and laughable. The script is corny times a million - think "The Young Doctors" grade of writing. The acting from everyone is Xanax style. The supporting actors - bit part and B grade players except for RC and JT are visibly uncomfortable speaking their lines. The other two do theirs without any depth, irony or wit. As for Jack Thompson his performance in the risible 1975 Scobie Malone which I saw out of curiosity recently after watching the wonderful Sunday, Too Far Away, was far superior to this effort. The plot is confused, and main elements don't relate or support each other and forgotten. Suprise twists and turns are simply hackneyed. There is nothing redeeming about this work, but it does show that when you live in a bubble of self-importance you can serve up a dog's breakfast to your guests and believe it's fit for consumption. Don't believe me? Try and watch it.
Ticket to Paradise (2022)
An awful treatment for Bali
The 'street scenes' of Bali show the very worst typecasting of balinese people. How this movie could be made in 2021 is beyond me. Clooney and Roberts should be ashamed, and the media should ask hard questions of them. After Clooney's disgraceful involvement with child labor re Nespresso who would have thought he would double down in this lame thing. Having been to Bali many times and the sweet people just sucked in by star power and the promise of tourism post covid of this film. As for the story there is zero-character chemistry, improbable plot and bad acting. Sad to think if the money for this production was diverted to good instead of Clooney and Roberts spa holiday. I bet Bali was so hopeful about 'Hollywood' after covid. Regrettably they are poorer for it while Roberts and Clooney are richer. The only redeeming feature is the soundtrack which is as limited as the script. Wow, just awful to watch every frame.
House of Darkness (2022)
Just...awful
I guess the idea for this was to cast a male lead that is so annoying, unlikable and sleezy and to have the male lead feature in every scene for long enough for the audience to despair that the end is not happening fast enough. Enter Justin Long to play himself.
Not only does Justin Long irritate the viewer with his very poor delivery and over the top ham-fisted acting chops, but he delivers his performance in a completely unselfconscious way - as if he thinks he is really nailing it. He does not.
The female leads are a bit better but only because they look so good and so the terrible script, lack of wit, the barely credible set up and juvenile plotting, can be temporarily overlooked.
Unfortunately, Long's performance in this piece of fluff is so bad that I will be reluctant to every invest in anything with his name attached to it.
Speak No Evil (2022)
Fingernails down a blckboard
This is not a slasher/gore horror film. It is a superb example of the genre: very, very unsettling, discomforting, and disturbing on many levels, principally morality. The 'reveal' near the end is immensely satisfying whilst shocking to the viewer.
Similar to an obscure out of production movie called The Appointment with Edward Woodward, and I was reminded too of the recent Midsommer, you will not forget this film.
It is also very "Harold Pinter". The Birthday Party film is a classic adaptation of Pinter's plays. Some authority type, without reason, sits in your face and slowly tears long pieces of newspaper while staring at you aggressively - like fingernails down a blackboard.
Great film, even more disturbing if you are a parent.
Mystery Road: Origin (2022)
Awesome
Excellent production, character development, acting is amazing. Even bit parts nail it. If you enjoyed mystery Road you will love this. Very, very Australian. And if you've been in places like Jardine, yep it nails it.
Meet the Fockers (2004)
Flawless comedy
I watched the original recently again after so many years and laughed my head off. This is even better. Gags galore. Totally predictable and formulaic but a masterful comedy still hilarious 22 years later. It actually made me recall my one unit of Film Studies at Uni 30 years ago when I realized that in great films every single scene, everything object in that scene, the costumes, the casting, the dialogue the editing, the camera angles etc. - all these parts are carefully crafted to make the whole. Every scene in this movie has so much discipline and thought put into it. The cast relish their roles, in particular Hoffman and De Niro - you can tell they loved it. Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, and this movie top De Niro's acting. Hollywood comedy at its very best.
Belfast (2021)
2 mins in, you are hooked
I m 4 years younger than protagonist who is an 8yo boy in 1969. Unlike him, my ma and pa left UK and moved to AU. The movie is a bitter sweet and sadly accurate narrative.
The Electric Man (2022)
Appalling
It amazes me, over and over, that people can invest so much money in shockingly bad products, This piece of vomit is so utterly bad it deserves an award. After 30 seconds I was FWD and It never got better. Don't waste your life's precious moments. Everyone involved in this deserves, well whatever.
Cow (2021)
Perfect storytelling.
I watched this after frying up some very expensive Wagyu steak. I am still licking it off my teeth. My 10yo son loved tonight's meal too. After seeing this story afterwards I feel ashamed and I am not sure what kind of person I am. Welcome to Veganism. I worked in abattoirs when I was younger. When the animals came into the pen for me to bolt kill them, I could see their distress; they all knew. When I grabbed an animal from a pen to 'process it' I knew that they knew. I have a freezer full of prime cut and now I think I will just bury it. I watched Babe and I still enjoyed bacon but after this I cannot anymore. The people in this film are gentle, humane, and kind, but this simple no dialogue film has altered me. Watch at your peril.
The Hating Game (2021)
Predictable and enjoyable
Everyone in this film is super attractive. The female lead brings a real intense investment into it and totally carries the whole ensemble. The male lead is like 2D. Either poor casting, poor direction on him, or poor acting by him. I just think he was miscast and it let down the whole show. The supporting cast are great. A hackneyed rom com plot for sure (they hate each other, love each other, hate each other, a wedding trip, a misinterpreted overheard conversation in the final arc as per Jane Austin, oh dear...will it resolve? Of course it does but not in a convincing way like say Clueless or Love Actually.) This is a 'by the numbers' 1.5 hours and as such it is ok and I did not mind watching it. I ended the film thinking this was marketed to teenage girls which made me realise how confused this movie was v.v sex scenes.
The Tomorrow War (2021)
Fabulous Hollywood entertainment
Watched this with my 13yo son last night. Rollicking stuff. The pace was all wrong and the narrative not enough to capture teens. Too Many F words. Had to FF so many times.
House of Gucci (2021)
Precious moments
Precious moments of my life gone forever,. A film who's only redeeming feature is the historically accurate Vesper in the opening scene. The Acting, Direction, Story telling are all secondary it seems to some ideal beyond me. Consigned to the rubbish bin of stupid films made by unqualified stupid people. The disconnect to the brand and this is uh-mazing. Epic Fail. 2 stars for the First movement Italian scenes.
Clean (2021)
Brody with beard
Let's admit it, lead actor was great in that Piano movie but since then, maybe apart from Aliens chapter whatever, he has sleep walked each film, doing the same dance moves on he headshots of his face. Expressionless and turgid nonsense. Message to casting agents: casting Brody in your production will not guarantee success. This 1.5hr film was so tedious I>> until the predictable 'revenge' climax 10mins before the end. Even that was passable and the whole thing an utter waste of time. Only gets 3 for the gun violence sequence at the end.
Moon Crash (2022)
SFX
Special FX are reputedly good from trailer but when I read the storyline I knew this would stink, so actually have not even watched it. And now we need another sentence to make up 150 words....really?
The 355 (2022)
Penelope Cruz
I wonder if Penelope Cruz realizes how adored she is? It is amazing to watch her in this film. I've watched it 3X now and have no idea what the plot is but to see her act ios incredible.
The Tender Bar (2021)
bEN aFLECK
Let's be honest, no one likes Ben Affleck. He is conceited and arrogant. But due to the very tight direction in this film, he is passable, allowing the other actors to shine. A good story despite the existence of Ben Affleck.
Midsommar (2019)
Breathtaking
A very original disturbing experience. Similar to the dream like Melancholia but unlike that film I am not sure I will watch it again in years to come. Came to see this as a fan of Florence Pugh and was not disappointed. Made me go back and re-read The White Goddess by Graves. Excellent.